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Matt Christman, host of the popular leftist podcast Chapo Trap House, recently announced that he was leaving the show indefinitely. He announced the departure via a livestream in which he was obviously intoxicated the entire time, slurring his words and stomping around. Christman repeatedly screamed “They put me on Virgil leave!”

“We did put him on Virgil leave,” says Will Menaker, another host of the show. Menaker sat down for an interview with TMZ last Sunday to clear the air. “Look, I haven't talked to Amber and have had basically one conversation with Matt since it happened. I don't have any answers but we know he can't come back.”

The controversy arose after Rhea Seehorn, of Better Call Saul fame, posted screenshots of Christman's messages to her. In the pictures, Christman repeatedly says “pwease gimme me feety” and posted pictures of himself unsuccessfully trying to pop his pecs. It is unclear what Christman wanted from the encounter, but the actress was understandably shaken by what seemed to be the podcaster desperately attempting to sate his foot fetish.

There are no further details at this point, we will update as more information is released.

CILLIAN Murphy the star of the upcoming Nolan film Oppanheimer is facing legal issues after the actor beat a twenty two year old during a Q&A at General Plaza Theatre in L.A. Many witnesses were shocked as Cillian “laid in a few deadly blows to the young man’s head” said one security guard who was “in such a state of shock I couldn’t even move.” Witnesses say that the young man walked up to the mic and asked Cillian if he was a SIGMA male, a term used within the incel community (involuntary celibate) which describes a person outside of the norm, a lone wolf. In more recent times has the SIGMA definition been used and many portrayals of antiheroes in cinema become “icons” of the SIGMA fandom, one of those characters is Tommy Shelby from the BBC show Peaky Blinders which Cillian has been reprising for almost a decade now. “After asked the question Cillian looked around and had a smirk and laughed a bit… everything changed when he became expressionless and walked over and grabbed the man by the neck and started beating his head” one member of the audience said.

Cillian has been detained and is in custody by the LAPD’s Sheriff’s department.

Source: https://www.tmz.com/

LEGENDARY singer / songwriter Billy Joel is in custody after the late singer “begged” elderly lady to jump inside a bear enclosure at Central Park Zoo. The incident occurred on Monday around noon, the victim in question spoke to us and had this to say: “he told me to jump inside and he would play me a song. I believed it when he said it but my daughter was telling me not to. I thought it was part of a tv show”. Witnesses rushed to find security personnel who then contacted the authorities who then arrested him on the scene. Another witness reached out to us: “it was surreal, once he got cuffed he started singing “my life” as he soiled his pants and started laughing hysterically, I was dumbfounded”.

The charges still remain and bail has yet to be unveiled.

TAP dancing has been found to increase the chances of testicular cancer in those who are born with testes. The study conducted at Fordham Universities Oncologist department conducted several tests and linked several case studies, “we didn’t want to rule out that tap dancing causes cancer of the testes but our research speaks for itself”, said lead researcher Donald Barton who is lead Oncologist at Fordham. The study was focused on any activities those who got testicular cancer were engaged in and found that a great number of those that tap danced were diagnosed. “This was no coincidence” Professor Barton says, “once we discovered that link we pursued answers… why would tap dancing correlate with testicular cancer. We discovered that the dancing itself sent vibrations throughout the body and with those vibrations the testes would hit one another which created ‘micro fissures’, tiny fissures that would take time to heal but after multiple instances of healing and the testes experiencing more stress, sooner or later cancer cells develop”.

Although it hasn’t necessarily been proven the research as Barton puts it does speak for itself. “I won’t stop you enjoying your hobby.. but if you have testes then perhaps best course of action would be to put an ice pack on them after every tap dancing session”.

Source: https://tmz.com

Scientists were not shocked when they opened the box to see Schrodinger's cat, famously assumed to be a thought experiment, dead this past Sunday. Garrett Wilbertson, one of the researchers assigned to the cat, says “Yeah, I mean, it's a cat. They live for like 20 years at most. What did you expect?”

Others are still searching for answers, such as Meril Gabbitz, the head of the team: “I, I just, I saw the lid open... and I saw him, and the catnip was all over the place... . . . absolutely not- no, obviously there were no cameras. What an awful question.”

Regardless of the cause, this news has shaken many people to their core. Twitter CEO and tech billionaire Elon Musk recently tweeted a few thoughts:

“Growing up, I read the encyclopedia to become smarter. I loved thinking about parallel dimensions while learning about that cat. I hope you are hazing cheezburger in heaven, old friend. 😻🍔”

Musk has pledged to name his 25th child after the cat, which would make the baby's name Schrodinger Cat Musk. Elon vows to keep this child alive forever in tribute to the cat. It's uncertain whether or not Musk actually gets the point of the experiment.

Crimestoppers is offering a $10,000 reward to anyone who can prove they saw the cat before his untimely demise.

A recent study conducted at MIT revealed that the American audience believes films are being broadcast in real time. Professor Dalton Peters had been working on this study for “quite some time now”, almost thirteen years. We interviewed professor Peters and he had this to say: “I was surprised by my findings at first but then it started to click. Many Americans believe that any time they watch any movie, the actors, crew, directors, whoever, are all on scene broadcasting the film over and over again… it’s bizarre to think about, the fact they don’t understand the technology involved. We have phones now we record things, how have they not grasped this concept?” We also conducted our own bit of research and opened a poll asking viewers what they believed was going on when they sat down to watch their film. Our polls showed much higher numbers, sixty three percent of people we asked (this is over five thousand people) believed the same thing, films they were watching were being broadcast live. We got in contact with a few of those who took our poll;

“you’re telling me they don’t record it every time we watch it, na, no way LOL. I don’t believe it you can’t believe everything you see on tv everyday, that’s what separates us from them.” - Brad Jacobs, 63

“If that’s the case why do actors get paid millions, it’s because it’s hard work! They have to keep doing it over and over again” - Megan Bologna , 54

“It’s false. Any time I’ve watched a movie again there’s always something different, I’m very observant so I see all these things many people don’t look for. The acting is different every time, it’s false” - Pete Walker, 28

“I don’t believe it, I don’t say that as a way of expressing shock, I genuinely don’t believe it. It’s impossible, like how are you able to keep playing the same movie over and over again it costs money to do that and it’s cheaper to have the actors playing the same part over and over again, never heard of any recordings, that’s why it’s called film it’s a film” - Michael Wednesday

The answers left us stunned, were we being deceived by people online or is there another reality, are Americans severely uneducated? I couldn’t be a straightforward answer, whatever the case a large majority of Americans believe the films and television shows that they watch are being broadcast live. This can’t just be exclusive to America.

Jack White, of The White Stripes, was arrested early Sunday morning as authorities followed up on reports that he was playing guitar with his soft penis. Judging by the available footage, the stunt was a hit, with concertgoers calling it "avant garde" and "better than whatever he was doing with that Icky Trump s--t," with one member of the audience going so far as to say "if Meg can get away with what she's been doing the past 20 or so years, he should be able to have his d--k out".

Local authorities are holding White until bond is set on Monday.

LEGENDARY actor John Turturro who has had a longstanding relationship with the Coen Brothers, appearing in five of their films has apparently soiled that relationship as the late actor beat director Ethan Coen to death on the set of the new Coen film River of Echelon.

pictured above, Turturro receiving award for his lead role in Barton Fink, alongside him is directors Ethan and Joel Coen

Reportedly John Turturro was having “a bad day on set” and was arguing all morning, sources state. Turturro was “pacing back and forth like a rabid dog and just lunged for Ethan and tackled him like a football player. That’s when he started laying in multiple punches repeatedly, we tried to stop him, we couldn’t! We couldn’t have stopped him he was rage incarnate.” Once Ethan Was beaten to death Turturro stood up and “came to” wiped his face and collapsed on a chair. Moments later police detained Turturro where he currently remains under custody.

Joel Coen is yet to make a statement, “he just left” our source says.

Source: https://www.tmz.com/

Source: https://www.scmp.com/news/china

Famed actor Timothée Chalamet took a page from many of the greats before him and decided it was his time to dip his toe into the process of method acting. Timothée worked as a "Director of Operations" at a Nestlé facility where he oversaw production and handled some business. Stepping aside for the six months was the official DOO Mister Kemmel Schteiner who had many bright things to say about the young actor, "Timotheé is a great great man, just wonderful, a warm wise soul. We shared the same politics and saw eye to eye with many decisions made, I didn't even have to teach him he just knew. (Laughs) He really is like a real life Wonka."

Locals weren't as enthusiastic when discussing Timotheé and was even granted several nicknames such as Wonka or The Cocoa Devil. We spoke with one of the workers who had this to say; "He was very abusive to us, always wanted us to do things "his way" but we have been working here for years and he still wanted things going his way even if they didn't make any sense. When we were vocal about the way he treated us, he burned down a forrest and killed two other workers, he's a villain through and through, a horrible man." Many such ramblings are most likely false accusations against the star as many of the unfortunate wish they could amass as much attention on the global stage as Mister Chalamet. We asked the DOO if Timothy's time as DOO was as close to reality as the workers suggested; "Asbolutely not. No way. Who are you going to believe them over me?"

Wonka releases world wide this christmas

The podcaster has been missing for the past 48 hours after police found the bodies of several beloved cartoon characters while doing a wellness check. No further information has been released, we will keep you updated as the situation develops.

Source: https://www.tmz.com/

LEGENDARY actor Jack Nicholson is said to be part of a sex ritual that will ultimately end his life by the end of it. The private company Last Wishes specializes in giving old timers an experience “they won’t forget”, very reminiscent of the film the late actor starred The Bucket List (2011). Last Wishes works with the families of the elderly to grant their family member with an experience or experiences before they pass. Services start from five hundred thousand dollars all the way up to a whopping eight million. We spoke with the CEO of Last Wishes Connel Phillips who had this to say; “we stay true to the families wishes, we work hard and send out multiple members of staff to the home in order to get to know the person, we send multiple because at an older age many of our clients are less trusting of people outside the family so we make sure to find a person they click with. Jack has been great, really great, really funny guy. His request is well… different to say the least… but we have to respect what he wants. We have arranged privately with another organization and planned this event to occur at his Hills residence. We wish to disclose more but due to the client we can’t say any more than what you already are aware of… of course there is a possibility he can and will die at the end of it. We are making sure to have paramedics on call whilst the ritual takes place”.

There are no further details regarding the private sex ritual, will Jack be dead by the end of it? Only time will tell. The sex ritual takes place at Jack’s Hollywood Hills residence on the 18th of July, don’t miss updates.