sappho

My Bluetooth speaker died today. Was faltering for a few months, but now it just won't charge anymore. Shut down last night for the final time. I've used it on a daily basis for seven or eight years. It was present for some really important memories. And now it's just trash, I guess. I know it's odd of me but I do feel sad.

I'm sorry. It sounds like your ex is saying they can't love anyone who isn't numb to being treated cruelly on a routine basis, which is pretty fucked up and pathetic for them. And it's good for you that you were so sensitive because you recognized what wasn't safe love before it became even worse, or before it wore you down to a point you thought you deserved it. I'm glad you got out.

For me the hardest to replace has been "That's crazy!" in a neutral/positive connotation for unexpected, off the wall, out of bounds, wild, shocking. Would love to hear other suggestions for this because most replacements I've found for "crazy" have negative connotations.

No. Can't contribute at my current level of disability. Housebound mostly bedbound, extremely limited in the time I can spend sitting upright and socializing or doing cognitive work.

I feel the same way, but I think for most of these people it's actually about the social rewards/ego strengthening effects and not the material boons. Like, imagine if the constant drumbeat of capitalist society that tells you "you're disposable, you're subhuman, you're nothing" was actually whispering the opposite in your ear. "You've won. You're better than all those wretched people. You are justified, you are sanctified, you made it, you're gonna live forever." Like that kind of external motivation and validation is not a recipe for true happiness, but I have to imagine it feels damn good to have all of society's messaging and all the people you know pretend that you are some elevated class that actually matters.

Kalimbas are cool. Cheap and they sound lovely like a music box even if you don't know what you are doing. The sound is so nice that my cat has several times fallen asleep right beside me while I've played

A concern I have about this is the long term effect on the nasal microbiome. In the same way that using antibiotics orally can fuck up your gut microbiome and lead to an increased risk of other health problems, could fucking up the nasal microbiome lead to poorer viral resistance in the long term, or an increased chance of developing allergy/histamine/MCAS issues (which are already triggered by COVID infections)?

Honestly I think pretty much everyone should try supplementing magnesium. Estimates vary but some huge portion of the US population is deficient without knowing it. There are different forms of supplemental magnesium - if anyone wants to try a combo that is high quality to quickly see if any form helps, I'd recommend OptiMag Neuro.

I have several of these health issues. Anecdotally I've met a lot of people with long covid like me who are neurodivergent, which makes sense because these associated physical issues can put you at higher risk.

a. The hostile anti-human AI takeover already happened, except instead of paperclips it's maximizing plastic

b. Not only is a rock conscious, so is the United States

Ugh, this gets right to a massive pet peeve of mine regarding mainstream climate change coverage. This relentless fucking fixation on having hope, the absolute strident necessity that we all feel the "correct way" about what approaches us. It's toxic positivity. It's emotional policing.

All of these people are terrified of death and they have no idea what hope even is! Yelling at some teenager grieving the destruction of the biosphere, "Be more optimistic! Look at the cool tech!" - it's not just ineffective, it's the literal opposite of helpful.

Hope isn't optimism! Hope isn't believing that we will win. Hope is when you've gone fully into despair and then find yourself, somehow, still alive there. This facade of positivity they call hope will break at the first sign of stress; that's why they push it so hard, insisting we all perform optimism as well, propping up their fragile feelings for them. I just want to shout it in their faces: You can't have hope without death! You can't have peace without grieving! Fuck you, start weeping!

Yeah, this is an important point. People change, especially over a time span like eight years. You aren't just picking up where you left off. You are meeting new versions of each other.