rmuk

None of the driver licenses shown in the screenshot are UK style.

I tried reading them as a kid and thought they were shit then. I realise now the biggest problems I had with it were the total absence of brick jokes (or whatever the literary equivalent is), the utter refusal to engage in foreshadowing, and the lack of character development.

Harry Potter was the best person but everyone else was a dick. "Gosh I wish something fun would happen" said Harry. Then Magic Headteacher turned up and it turns out that Harry is famous and rich and amazing! "Come and learn to be wizard and a celebrity" said Haggis, "you are amazing and have no choice". And he did. And his stepbrother was fat. Then Harry learned to play Quitit. Albino McVillain said "I've been playing my who life. You'll never be as good as me". And Albino was correct, Harry could only win if he was given a broomstick called a Plonko 9000. Then, Harry got a mystery package. It was a Plonko 9000 and he won. "I am a wizard!" whispered Harry, "but I will still share my chocolates because he is a good person". And he was. "Special people are born special and that's why they're special," said everyone.

Grammar. It's the difference between knowing your shit and shitting your pants.

My local library gives me access to newspapers and magazines delivered to my devices electronically every morning; movie streaming services; audiobook accessibe on my phone and - my favourite - they even have equipment loan, so if you want to borrow a hedge strimmer, rice cooker, embroidery machine, car jack, wallpaper steamer, etc, you can. That's to say nothing of the services I don't use, like arts classes, training courses, yoga sessions, etc. People pay hundreds every month for services freely available at the library.

workday of doing fuck all

Oh fuck right off with this bullshit. I suppose you think the attractive secretary's remarkable physique as exposed by their tight cardigan is just going to ogle itself? Presumably by the same magical fairytale critter that smokes all those cigarettes while knocking back a liquid lunch? And I suppose this wonderful creature takes care of water-cooler conversation as well, recounting golfing bon-mots, making sexist jokes and espousing low-grade racism while the man just does "nothing"? Get a grip.

I can't hear the word "aspic" without thinking of Don't Hug Me I'm Scared.

How much have you had today? Too much makes your teeth go grey!

Would a red light camera have saved her from a speeding car? No. Would a red light camera have stopped the speeding car from being a factor at all? Maybe.

Cars have to interact with pedestrians at some point. For every reckless act by a selfish driver that results in a child being murdered, there will be hundreds, thousands, maybe tens of thousands of similar reckless acts carried out by similarly selfish drivers that - purely by chance - don't cause a child to be killed. If drivers were caught and punished acting like this the majority of the times it doesn't result in a death, they'd be less likely to be in a position to slaughter pedestrians on the unlucky days in the first place.

Fucking hell, so much this. They're so goddamn proud of their ignorance. This is why I enforce a very strict "we're mechanics, not chauffeurs" policy in my team. We've got no duty - either literal or moral - to make up for incompetence.

Yeah, fuck due process. Enemies of the establishment don't deserve to be treated fairly.

Back in the eighties my parents (British) bought a villa in Spain, all on it's own on a mountainside. Over the following ten years fifty - yes, fifty - other villas were built, all independently, all by Brits, all on top of each other, most without planning permission. A group of busybodies formed a HOA-style association and took over the area, building an English Shoppe with a red phone box outside where you could buy the Daily Mail and Tetley Tea, an English pub, replacing the road signs with English ones, even an English radio station. The last time we visited and decided to sell, we arrived to find they'd illegally installed a gate across the road - the PUBLIC road - and were only giving the remotes to certain worthy residents, which apparently we weren't.

But it's okay. Because they weren't dirty migrants forcing their culture on others and refusing the integrate; they were expats just looking for a little bit of sun.

Holy shit, cheques (as we spell it in the UK). I'd not seen one in decades, my bank stopped issueing chequebooks more than 20 years ago but they'll still print a one-off cheque for you if you ask. Then I spent some time in France and they still use the goddamn things and it is an absolute ordeal - I swear they spend two solid minutes passing the thing back and forth between the customer and cashier, taking turns to make little amendments. I understand that in France a cheque has a lot more legal clout than in the UK.