the day i don't :3 is the day i'm dead
this is unrelated to any real world events
heres the og link, i really should get into the habit of adding this to the post
unfortunately image uploads from links don't support the built-in alt text system, and uploading directly to my instance is unreliable
oh i see now
it's not a particularly deep joke, at some point in the past our ancient ancestors stopped producing vitamin c by themselves so now we get scurvy if we don't eat fruit sometimes.
also British teeth stereotypically suck
those are the only two things you need to understand the joke
oh and to "fuck [someone] raw" just means to have unprotected sex
show transcript
conarcoin posts:
neopets forum posts i reference all the time
[several screenshots follow]
[first screenshot] Is arguing some kind of coping mechanism for you??
[second screenshot] just thought i'd add that i've reported everyone in this thread including myself
[third screenshot] wow this place is a freakshow. i dont respect literally any of you people
[screenshots ends]
conarcoin replies:
here are some more really good neoboards screenshots
[several screenshots follow]
[first screenshot] a large colorful message, presumably a forum signature, reading:
i am report EVERYBODY
[several pixel art neopet emoticons]
~ so you best behavior ~
[second screenshot] a post on the "Newbies" page of neoboard titled "why's everyone so angry tonight"
the author posts:
"let's do some breathing exercises everybody" in large black text
another user replies:
"reported"
[third screenshot] a post on the "Fan Clubs" page of neoboard titled "dogs or cats"
the author posts:
i love dogs im a dong person [smiley face]
i love unies they are the best neopets in the world
the author replies to themselves:
dog person [smiley face]
i love unies they are the best neopets in the world
[fourth screenshot, every word has their initial capitalized] I Do Not Know How Many Times I need To Repeat MySelf:
I Type Like This Because Every Word Is Important. Even, SomeTimes, Words WithIn Words Are ImportAnt.
[the user's forum signature] I've Seen Miracles In Every Way
And I See Miracles Everyday
[the words: "Myself", "Sometimes", and "Within" are capitalized as "My Self", "Some Times", and "With In". The last "Important" is capitalized as "Import Ant"
[fifth screenshot]
furretsshouldbesmall posted:
[a quote from another user] yeah there were shut up
furretsshouldbesmall writes: go weave a basket
[sixth screenshot] a post on the "Help" page of neoboard titled "Girls Come Here"
the author posts: I can treat you right i have 700 neo points.
[seventh screenshot]
mycritterdom2 posted: "i don't need breakfast. my body is made of titanium steel and runs on pure rage alone." in large red text
[eighth screenshot]
a user posts: watch this guys
the same user replies: dick butt
[ninth screenshot] a post on the "Newbies" page of neoboard titled "ppl who r religious/spiritual"
the author, nanacatl, posts: oi cunt what guides ur faith [emoticons of a green ball with a red cape and a sun]
[tenth screenshot] a post on the "Newbies" page of neoboard titled "i hate radiohead"
the author, thomnewyorke, posts: i dont like this band. i dont like the short one or the bald one. i dont like the creepy
blenke replies: if you listen to the radio your a radio head [smiley face]
thomnewyorke replies: that is not true. do not lie to me on these neopets. you are a liar.
[screenshots end]
hellyesbro replies:
how could you forget
[a screenshot of the top half of a bright green creature's face]
[in large black text] Priority Announcement
[in smaller red text, all caps] GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY ITS ALL GONE TO SHIT
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21328451
scrulevy
show transcript
play-now-my-lord posts:
PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that
OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it
GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21328451
show transcript
play-now-my-lord posts:
PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that
OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it
GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth
show transcript
play-now-my-lord posts:
PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that
OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it
GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20883609
show transcript
compiler-specific posts:
every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:
- libsnorble-2-dev, a C library that the author only distributes as source code and therefore must be compiled from source using CMake
- Squeeb.js, which sort of has most of the features you want, but requires about a gigabyte of Node dependencies and has only been in development for eight months and has 4.7k open issues on Github
- Squeeh.js, a typosquatting trojan that uses your GPU to mine crypto if you install it by mistake
- Sprongloxide, a Rust crate beloved by its fanatical userbase, which has been in version 0.9.* for about four years, and is actually just a thin wrapper for libsnorble-2-dev
- GNU Scrimble, a GPLv3-licensed command-line tool maintained by the Free Software Foundation, which has over a hundred different flags, and also comes with an integrated Lisp interpreter for scripting, and also a TUI-based Pong implementation as an "easter egg", and also supports CSV, XML, JSON, PDF, XLSX, and even HTML files, but does not actually come with support for squeebing snorble files for ideological reasons. it does have a boomeresque drawing of a grinning meerkat as its logo, though
- Microsoft Scrimble Framework Core, a .NET library that has all the features you need and more, but costs $399 anually and comes with a proprietary licensing agreement that grants Microsoft the right to tattoo advertisements on the inside of your eyelids
- snorblite, a full-featured Perl module which is entirely developed and maintained by a single guy who is completely insane and constantly makes blog posts about how much he hates the ATF and the "woke mind-virus", but everyone uses it because it has all the features you need and is distributed under the MIT license
- Google Squeebular (deprecated since 2017)
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20883609
show transcript
compiler-specific posts:
every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:
- libsnorble-2-dev, a C library that the author only distributes as source code and therefore must be compiled from source using CMake
- Squeeb.js, which sort of has most of the features you want, but requires about a gigabyte of Node dependencies and has only been in development for eight months and has 4.7k open issues on Github
- Squeeh.js, a typosquatting trojan that uses your GPU to mine crypto if you install it by mistake
- Sprongloxide, a Rust crate beloved by its fanatical userbase, which has been in version 0.9.* for about four years, and is actually just a thin wrapper for libsnorble-2-dev
- GNU Scrimble, a GPLv3-licensed command-line tool maintained by the Free Software Foundation, which has over a hundred different flags, and also comes with an integrated Lisp interpreter for scripting, and also a TUI-based Pong implementation as an "easter egg", and also supports CSV, XML, JSON, PDF, XLSX, and even HTML files, but does not actually come with support for squeebing snorble files for ideological reasons. it does have a boomeresque drawing of a grinning meerkat as its logo, though
- Microsoft Scrimble Framework Core, a .NET library that has all the features you need and more, but costs $399 anually and comes with a proprietary licensing agreement that grants Microsoft the right to tattoo advertisements on the inside of your eyelids
- snorblite, a full-featured Perl module which is entirely developed and maintained by a single guy who is completely insane and constantly makes blog posts about how much he hates the ATF and the "woke mind-virus", but everyone uses it because it has all the features you need and is distributed under the MIT license
- Google Squeebular (deprecated since 2017)
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20883609
show transcript
compiler-specific posts:
every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:
- libsnorble-2-dev, a C library that the author only distributes as source code and therefore must be compiled from source using CMake
- Squeeb.js, which sort of has most of the features you want, but requires about a gigabyte of Node dependencies and has only been in development for eight months and has 4.7k open issues on Github
- Squeeh.js, a typosquatting trojan that uses your GPU to mine crypto if you install it by mistake
- Sprongloxide, a Rust crate beloved by its fanatical userbase, which has been in version 0.9.* for about four years, and is actually just a thin wrapper for libsnorble-2-dev
- GNU Scrimble, a GPLv3-licensed command-line tool maintained by the Free Software Foundation, which has over a hundred different flags, and also comes with an integrated Lisp interpreter for scripting, and also a TUI-based Pong implementation as an "easter egg", and also supports CSV, XML, JSON, PDF, XLSX, and even HTML files, but does not actually come with support for squeebing snorble files for ideological reasons. it does have a boomeresque drawing of a grinning meerkat as its logo, though
- Microsoft Scrimble Framework Core, a .NET library that has all the features you need and more, but costs $399 anually and comes with a proprietary licensing agreement that grants Microsoft the right to tattoo advertisements on the inside of your eyelids
- snorblite, a full-featured Perl module which is entirely developed and maintained by a single guy who is completely insane and constantly makes blog posts about how much he hates the ATF and the "woke mind-virus", but everyone uses it because it has all the features you need and is distributed under the MIT license
- Google Squeebular (deprecated since 2017)
show transcript
compiler-specific posts:
every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20854187
show transcript
Boethiah posts:
[a screenshot of a comment by BrokenHomesSmal…]
"Just put this bread into the oven for the first time. What on earth does "satin-smooth" mean? I am not a painter or a communist, I cannot work in such flowery terms as this. The fascists at the NSA wouldn't allow this - I hope when they read this comment they will immediately take down this wishy-washy recipe and replace it with a concrete scientific methodology that is more suited to the delicate and precise nature of baking." [screenshot ends]
this reads like Disco Elysium dialogueautismgod replies:
this is like something an NPC says to you at the bakery in the witch alps version of Disco Elysium
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20854187
show transcript
Boethiah posts:
[a screenshot of a comment by BrokenHomesSmal…]
"Just put this bread into the oven for the first time. What on earth does "satin-smooth" mean? I am not a painter or a communist, I cannot work in such flowery terms as this. The fascists at the NSA wouldn't allow this - I hope when they read this comment they will immediately take down this wishy-washy recipe and replace it with a concrete scientific methodology that is more suited to the delicate and precise nature of baking." [screenshot ends]
this reads like Disco Elysium dialogueautismgod replies:
this is like something an NPC says to you at the bakery in the witch alps version of Disco Elysium
show transcript
Boethiah posts:
[a screenshot of a comment by BrokenHomesSmal…]
"Just put this bread into the oven for the first time. What on earth does "satin-smooth" mean? I am not a painter or a communist, I cannot work in such flowery terms as this. The fascists at the NSA wouldn't allow this - I hope when they read this comment they will immediately take down this wishy-washy recipe and replace it with a concrete scientific methodology that is more suited to the delicate and precise nature of baking." [screenshot ends]
this reads like Disco Elysium dialogue
autismgod replies:
this is like something an NPC says to you at the bakery in the witch alps version of Disco Elysium
a matematician specializes in palgebra