yes. those rocks belong to outdoor cats
nathanfieldertulpa
joined 2 years ago
wishing the author of My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness a very GETO UT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD
some sad feelings around motherhood, rambling
ive been doing trauma release exercises and meditation recently and theyve brought up so much shit that ive been repressing. like i think i finally unlocked lesbian yearning and holy fuck i can barely handle it!! 
ive never felt this full body loneliness before, its almost incapacitating. and ive also started to grieve the fact that i’ll never be a mother unless a lot of shit (physical health, finances, mental health) gets magically better over the next few years and it just sucks. it sucks a lot lol
im a very stupid chaos activist
my dad had to have surgery when i was 3 months into HRT (still boymoding) and when the surgeon came out to talk to me afterwards he thought i was 18 (i was in my late 20's)
obama but he’s a trot:
uhhh let me pamphleteer
i took seroquel 10 yrs ago and yeah that tracks, it would also knock me right out
counterpoint: im an idiot and i dont wanna have to restart halfway into the story bc i made a doodoo character
trying to pass as a cis woman online by putting she/her/hers in my bio instead of just she/her
Now, the dysphoria more clearly is disassociation
god, it took me so long to realize this. in my case i think the neglect i went through growing up caused me to dissociate from anything that was uncomfortable, which is why it's so hard for me to actually feel my dysphoria and why i didnt know in the same way that it feels like other trans people knew. so there's definitely a correlation for me
i just stayed calm and didn't shake during my injection for the first time!!
i used to have major needle anxiety so the fact that ive gotten over it over the last year (i have another med that i need to inject) feels huge for me and its cool lil side effect of me having a better handle on my emotions now