naevaTheRat

Speculation is pointless, their records will be examined. It wouldn't be the first time, but even a negative attitude and/or neglect could lead to deaths or suffering which were avoidable. Look at Aboriginal deaths in the healthcare system for an example of this.

Even if these people were utter saints professionally they have harmed everybody by undermining the trust nursing staff need extended to them to do their jobs properly, which benefits all of us.

It's completely contemptable behaviour that nobody should make excuses for or diminish. Targeting people for where they were born is insane.

The uh scare quotes aren't really helping your case. Being queer doesn't mean you automatically understand the seriousness of other queer people's concerns and it also doesn't mean you're free of bigotry.

Consider like lgbt erasure from official histories, many people scoffed at concerns like this and thought it was hysterical pearl clutching to make a big deal about whether or not someone's sexuality was mentioned or whatever. Others will tell you it literally saved their lives knowing that people like them existed in the past.

I don't think it's that hard to just be kind, and if you can't be kind be funny and then block them and move on :P

Australians are the worst

• signed a terrible Australian

DAE workers are brain dead selfish zombies with zero social connection outside of work and no concept of debt to society?

What a bleak view of humanity

Pretty similar, I had forgotten the name of Jess's book. I think hers focuses more on legal stuff in Australia iirc and less on the personal psychology but it's there too.

They're both using the same body of knowledge.

So if you read that book, or look into any of the research behind DV you will learn that it's not really a problem women can confront at the source because the psychology behind it is one which fundamentally views women as inferior. In the same way if someone is racist somebody from a group they hate is unlikely to meet with much success trying to change their views (at best probably getting recognition as "one of the good ones") women talking to men about why we're actually whole-arse people doesn't work very well.

Aside from trying in vain to get men to learn literally anything about why DV happens and why they can actually make a massive difference talking to their mates and setting norms for acceptable ideas about women at work/at the gym/at the club etc it's not really in my means to donate to a shelter or whatever. I do volunteer for the greens around elections.

That said, being a woman in society there's the sort of basic keeping an eye on things. Making a point to chat with neighbours, hosting drinks, sharing food etc that gives you a bit of a chance to have a network of support for people, victims tend to hide the harm believing themselves to be at fault so there's not a good chance you'll actually know. You can call a welfare check on a house if you hear a nasty fight but it's unlikely to do much.

The left doesn't want you to know this but 100% of leftist women are dommes

I do note an interesting difference in your approach to how to handle DV vs how to handle someone stringing a wire across a bike path. It may be a contradiction you wish to reflect on.

You might want to read this book to get a better idea behind the psychology of DV.

I'm not trying to have a go, I'm trying to understand. I agree that feeling shut out and having people say awful stuff because of your gender is bad. Surely you see that women deal with this too right though? and extremely extensively.

If you look at the upper echelons of society women are not there, if you look at the trades women aren't respected, in corporate life women routinely feel like they have to get a man to say their ideas to be taken seriously. When I worked tech support I signed my emails with a man's name because otherwise customers argued with me (this wasn't me being ridiculous, my boss asked me to start doing it because he got annoyed reading the tickets going overtime).

So it's like, surely having experienced some of it you get that all of it is bad right? You wouldn't arrive at men being under attack, but rather gender equality being important so nobody feels this way.

It’s not like we’re choosing to let domestic violence to continue. We’re just as powerless as anyone else.

I think this is really interesting, who do you think can?

It's also true that male loneliness is pretty significant, and lonely guys are more prone to developing extreme and hateful views but the only people that can do anything about man to man friendships are other men.

There are some fantastic initiatives like lens sheds that are trying to knit a healthy social structure and almost nobody participates in them.

“but you are a white man, you can’t help anyone” or something of the like. Really sticks with you.

That's a silly thing to say but it also sounds like it came from the mouth of a teenager? Teenagers say lots of dumb stuff I wouldn't recommend forming societal views based on them.

Most women have had the experience of being humiliated sexually, and belittled intellectually by young men. Do you feel that women should feel like we're under attack?

This is what confuses me. I am mostly a lesbian but have dated men a few times. I never resented their traits I would consider manly.

My sisters are married to men and they seem to enjoy the fact that they're men. They expect their partner to be sensitive, tactful, and mature but that is a basic expectation of every adult and not hard to meet.

My dad is a man, he's extremely handy and always willing to show us the ropes of some task or help out with his knowledge. That seems like masculinity to me.

I don't understand what men feel like they're not allowed to do that is "being a man". I get some stuff like roided up beauty standards are ridiculous but every human alive deals with impossible celebrity beauty.