mostNONheinous

Yeah well I’m calling Dean Cain a little bitch.

Looks like that ways about 12 Courics.

Well damn Jackie I can’t control the weather. - Michael Kelso

The party that swears there are only Two Genders really seems to only believe in One.

I used to work for one of the big chain pizza joints. On my 21st birthday my boss and a coworker wanted to take me for a beer. They take me to a bar on the edge of town. We are there for about ten minutes when one of our delivery drivers walk-in and orders a drink. We are at the other end of the bar and wait for him to take a drink, then we all say “Hey Bob!”. Bob looks down the bar and says “hey guys what’s up?” We explained why we were there and then asked why he was since he was on the clock. This was before cellphones were in everyone’s pocket and Bob “couldn’t find” his delivery so he had to stop SOMEWHERE for a pay phone, the beer was just a bonus. Bob had worked there for over 20 years and I guess the boss just didn’t care.

Bob also called into work sick one day and when asked what was wrong he said “My dick hurts” and hung up the phone.

All that caffeine you’d think they could just chew it.

Almost guaranteed they looked up Animal Crossing and saw that the old villager had horns and noped out based on just that.

Stop feeding me dog shit AI videos about a condom delivery boy who has to deliver some to a hotel only to find his girlfriend cheating on him and maybe I’ll stop blocking ads you fuck sticks

I legit had this happen once, but with my wife and I. Thought we were the only two in the theater, and just as the trailers end a guy pops in and walks all the way up to the back row and sits down next to my wife. We were in motion seats that you pay specifically for, if the other motions seats aren’t reserved they don’t function. So we couldn’t ask him to move. Worst part was about halfway through the movie my soda caught up with me. I sat for over an hour having to piss badly because I couldn’t leave my wife alone with some strange ass dude