overview for memfree

Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I'm doing better without him, so don't worry too much about it. Old women tend to live alone simply because men die younger, so it's no biggie if some of us start that trend a bit early.

I remember an old guy who really wanted to remarry when his wife died, courted and married someone new, and then expected her to do all the household chores because that's what women do. She was aghast. He hadn't given any indication that what he wanted was a free maid while wooing her, and she backed out of the whole thing immediately -- much happier to be on her own than take on his expectations.

Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

The reddit hivemind gets triggered by the very idea of cheating. As far as I know, there was no cheating in my marriage and eventual divorce, but it didn't matter to me if he cheated or not. It mattered to him that I didn't cheat, so I didn't. From my point of view, I'd have a problem if he was spending all his free time with someone else instead of helping with the house, chores, relationship, and so on, but random sex was fine by me -- as long as it didn't result in pregnancy or become a full-blown relationship.

Years ago I read some paper about how humans have two primary and competing reproductive strategies: monogamy versus promiscuouness. It theorized that cultures tend to codify monogamy as the standard to follow because its proponents get very hostile to the promiscuous whereas the promiscuous do not much care what the monogamous do.

Do you believe that most people act according to their own self-interest? Is acting only according to your self-interest a good strategy in life? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Agreed!

I might think it is in my self interest to lie, cheat and steal, but if I do that, my community and my reputation are worsened, and I may have a harder time getting a better position in a crappier world.

If instead I think it in my self interest to volunteer at the local food bank, I might see my community and reputation improved, and by demonstrating a commitment to community, perhaps I will get a better job offer.

More basically: civilization has figured out that fair trade benefits both the farmer who needs tools and the blacksmith who needs food. It is in everyones' self-interest to support things like: rule of law, commerce, and education.

[Deleted] in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

It sounds like your mom did you wrong. You can't change that. You CAN change what you do now.

Look, I've known more than a couple people who heard the same and worse from their mothers. One girl knew their dad had been abusive and their mom had to step in and take punches to keep the then-toddler girl from getting hit. A guy who's dad ran off had a young mom who really never meant to be a mom, was bad at it, and couldn't afford to feed her kids. I don't know the full stories for all my acquaintances, but those are two who both heard their moms say things like, "I wish you were never born." and "You ruined my life."

It sucks to hear that, but moms are not perfect, have their own stresses to deal with, and sometimes too much heart break can get a person to say things they should not.

Maybe life IS meaningless, but there's a bunch of us fuckers stuck here who are all struggling to make a go of it despite the circumstances, and while we can acknowledge that everything sucks, you probably don't know we think that because we're not in the worst of depression at the moment and try to fill the emptiness with small pleasantries rather than slip back into the well of sorrow, saying a mindless patter of things like, "It's a beautiful day" or "We needed the rain", or "Great game last night."

You are not alone. You can get through this. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Try to do something -- anything -- for yourself, or for someone else, or for everyone.

Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

He'd tell you because I was crazy.

I'd say it was because he wanted us to both move in with his (wonderful and supportive) family.

I was crazy, but not THAT crazy.

We had been living far away from his family, but he'd landed a fantastic job in their home town. Before the move, his mother started calling me and telling me that if I wanted to live in her house, I'd have to be respectful, and not go out drinking all night and coming home drunk -- something I'd never done or conceived of doing -- or what chores I would have, or how loud I could be, and when we would eat, and so on. I told him that I could not live 24/7 with his mom. I said I was moving to MY mother's and when he got us a place of our own, I would join him. He didn't. We divorced.

The divorce was fairly amicable. That was all about 30 years ago and I never remarried. I did shack up with a wonderful man for about 20 years, but I eventually kicked him out because he'd shrink into the shadows when I most needed support and I was tired of feeling emotionally devastated when I reaching out for succor and instead finding a void. I explained that I'd rather know that no one is there to help if I'm flailing about than to have someone I trusted stand by and do nothing. Yeah, I'm bitter about that one. I still love the guy, but sheesh.

I'm leaving the US for good, anything I should do before I leave? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This surely varies by state, but in Alaska, for example, I'm told Japanese vacationers LOVE to try out guns. So, if you can rent a gun on a range, shooting off weapons is the most American thing I can think to do before you leave.

DOGE Has Become What It Claimed To Destroy in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

When I hear 'government bloat', I think $500 hammers and fat cat contracts where big companies get huge contracts that mostly go in the pockets of a handful of rich owners while little goes to the actual project.

I do NOT think it means randomly removing workers. Salaries cost little and are the support structure of the government. I might not want to buy a 'bridge to nowhere' but I certainly don't want to take out 10% of the supports on each bridge.

Everything DOGE has done seems destructive and none of it seems to reduce government waste. In fact, the opposite. p.s. I know there's more to the hammer story, but -- like transgendered instead of transgenic mice -- the public mostly only heard the price tag.

What's something that's seen as Obsolete, but isn't? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nah, gotta got vinyl because cassettes deteriorate just sitting in their cases while vinyl stays pristine ... until you actually play it, anyway -- but if you want to store an audio recording for longevity, press a gold version of a vinyl album.

Costco Smoothie Change in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not the OP, but I imagine "vendor harassment" means people hawking gutters, phone services, and other 3rd party people/items inside Costco.

I, too, have considered not renewing because I feel like the quality of products has gone way, way down. For me the issue is mostly heat-and-eat food but I've also been dissatisfied with some household items -- plastic laundry baskets that broke too quickly, for example. For food stuffs, I posted a while back on bake-at-home pre-made pizzas with bad crusts and bad toppings. I miss the old mesquite chicken wings that were replaced with garlic wings that have the mildly chemical flavor of jarred pre-chopped garlic. At the food court, I understood them getting rid of fresh onions for hot dogs during covid, but I didn't understand why they got rid of the sauerkraut. I stopped buying anything from the food court once that happened.

Also, they keep removing my core purchases; particularly cheeses. They used to stock a triple creme brie-like round that I loved. It is gone. I miss it. The remaining soft cheeses do not compare. That was a bit of a luxury, so I didn't NEED that, whereas my biggest problem was the removal of 2lb bricks of cheddar cheese. I'm not talking about the fancy cheddar like kerrygold (which doesn't melt well), but the generic 'commodity' cheddar that had been stocked in the main cold cases near bacon, hot dogs, and bags of shredded cheeses. I don't want shredded cheese. I want a big block I can slice or shred myself as needed. They also used to carry a locally made cheese/horseradish spread I liked buying with local pretzel sticks but both of those are gone, too. There were other similar items but you get the idea.

As for produce, I live near farm country so I can usually find plain produce in season for a better price than Costco if it is local. Produce from other countries can be cheaper at Costco some of the time, but very often our local bulk-produce outlets can beat Costco on price at the cost of a reduction in freshness. Where you have the choice of 5 celery sticks for x or 40 celery sticks for 2x, my choices are: 1 head of celery for x (regular grocer), 3 heads of 'ugly' celery for 2x (bulk produce outlet), 3 trimmed heads of celery 'hearts' for 2x+ (Costco). I get the ugly celery and put the leaves in whatever celery-using soups/stews I make in the next few weeks. I find those leaves add a pleasing flavor in such dishes, so I feel ripped off if I only receive 'hearts'.

Has anyone else decided not to swear? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

When I was in high school, I was very anti-authority and swore all the time to be "against the man". When I started working in day care I had to cut out all swearing all the time because it was too automatic to ONLY stop in front of kids. When I got a real job, I continued my no-swearing bend as a general rule because -- at least until you get to know the people around you -- people will treat you with more respect if you don't sound like a foul mouthed low life.

Swearing all the time for no reason is a very low-rent affect. Letting out a rare swear will add considerable emphasis when your peers know it is not your normal behavior. Always swear when you hurt yourself. It helps.

Is it possible to eat a toxic amount of culinary herbs/spices? in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_herbs_with_known_adverse_effects

The list itself says it is incomplete and I immediately thought of a couple items not listed that have known toxicity issues:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perilla_frutescens#Traditional_medicine,_phytochemicals,_and_toxicity

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruta_graveolens#Toxicity

7

Review: Blount Italian Wedding Soup works for me! (sameday.costco.com)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

0 comments fedilink

I like this soup. I've tried several pre-made soups that were not worth comment (crab & corn, clam chowder, vegetable barley), but the Italian Wedding soup hit all the right notes for my pallet. I found the broth sufficiently chicken-y (rather than watery) and found the meatballs to be delightful.

I do prefer more vegetables in my soup, but adding extra spinach didn't improve it much for me. I did find that tossing in some leftover brussel sprouts that I'd tossed in olive oil and italian seasoning then roasted with and romano cheese -- well, that took the soup from a comforting liquid to a transformed and wondrous almost-stew.

On their own, leftover brussel sprouts get mushy and I don't have much use for them, but mushy works in soup! The sprouts' bitterness became a delightful contrast to the broth and the spices all mixed together well.

Again, the Italian Wedding Soup is very nice by itself. I merely wanted to let the interested know how a random addition improved it for me. Your tastes may not agree with mine.

Review: Snapdragon Chicken Pad Thai is okay but not special in c/[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It is easy insta-food, so just look at it as a day without needing to plan or cook. That said, if you have roasted peanuts and/or cilantro to use as garnish, I think both will improve the meal.

17

Review: Snapdragon Chicken Pad Thai is okay but not special (sameday.costco.com)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

8 comments fedilink

I warmed it on the stovetop (not microwave) and found it lacking, but acceptable.

After adding:

tamarind paste,
onions,
bell peppers,
a thai hot pepper,

and then topping with:

cilantro,
fresh lime, and
some chopped up roasted peanuts,

... the additions (standard ingredients) made it much better.

Still, it was missing the contrast of bean sprouts. It isn;t the same without them and if I'd had bean sprouts, I would have added, but at that point I might have opted to just make my own pad thai -- which would have tasted better for almost the same amount of cook/prep time.

45

bake-at-home Margherita pizza is disappointing (lemmy.ml)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

8 comments fedilink

Costco has brought back Margherita pizzas, but now they are rectangular -- not round, and no longer have basil. Basil is a key ingreditent and they've gotten rid of it in favor of their oily, salty, pesto topping. Also, the dough is no longer pizza dough, but this foccia-like flat bread that is far too tough. So we have an oily mess on hard bread with way too much salt and not much else in flavor. It is edible, but not worth the price ($16.99 -- item #1816582).

108

Venezuela election: Protesters clash with police after Maduro victory claim (www.bbc.co.uk)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

15 comments fedilink

Before you read that, see also: Choreographed celebrations in Venezuela as Maduro claims win

There are some things that are indisputable. Some which I, as an observer on the ground, was witness to.

There were the huge queues at polling stations, but only tiny amounts of people being let in at one time.

This led to accusations of deliberate delays, perhaps in the hope some people would give up and go home.

When our BBC team arrived at one polling station, the organiser of the station took a call saying the international media were there. 150 people were then suddenly allowed to be admitted.

There were some poll stations that didn’t open at all, leading to protests and clashes with the authorities.

There were allegations that some of those who work for the state, including police students, were told how to vote.

The protest coverage says:

The opposition has disputed Mr Maduro's declaration of victory as fraudulent, saying its candidate Edmundo González won convincingly with 73.2% of the vote.

A heavy military and police presence, including water cannons, was on the streets of Caracas with the aim of trying to disperse protesters and prevent them from approaching the presidential palace.

In some areas, posters of President Maduro were ripped down and burned while tyres, cars and rubbish have also been set alight.

Armed police, military and left-wing paramilitaries who are sympathetic to the government clashed with protesters and blocked off many roads around the city centre.

See also similar coverage from Al Jazeera: Protests break out as Maduro declared winner of disputed Venezuela election (archive)

4

Exclusive vegan recipes from Meera Sodha’s new book | The new vegan (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

0 comments fedilink

ghost archive | Article has several recipes from author's new book. Sodah has been writing recipes in "The new vegan" column for about seven years, totaling 348 recipes.

The recipes are heavy on Asian ingredients and include: Simple tomato dal, Turnip cake, and Sesame noodles with spicy fried soya mince.

FYI to U.S. readers: aubergine=eggplant and courgette=zucchini.

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See GOJIRA bring fire, blood and heavy metal to Paris Olympics (www.revolvermag.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

1 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/15211295

After adding operatic vocals to Gojira's rendition of "Ah! Ça Ira," a song popular during the French Revolution, she went on to sing a portion of Georges Bizet's Carmen.

From NME:

The heavy metallers performed ‘Ah, Ça Ira!’ (which translates to ‘It’ll be fine’), a song that was popular during the French revolution, during a segment titled ‘Liberté’ (in reference to France’s famed motto ‘Liberté, égalité, fraternité’) that celebrated one of the most famous events in French history, as well as the nation’s emphasis on freedom.

Gojira appeared on the side of a castle surrounded by fire and bursts of red streamers to represent blood, with Viotti later appearing on a moving prop boat. Their performance followed a portion dedicated to Les Miserables and came just after a beheaded Marie Antoinette was shown singing.

Traditional lyrics translated at wikipedia (linked above) Gojira's lyrics translated via redditors:

"Oh. It'll be okay, be okay, be okay,
Hang the aristocrats from on high!
Oh. It'll be okay, be okay, be okay,
The aristocrats, we'll hang 'em all.
Despotism will breathe its last,
Liberty will take the day,
Oh. It'll be okay, be okay, be okay,
We don't have any more nobles or priests,
Oh. It'll be okay, be okay, be okay,
Equality will reign everywhere,
The Austrian slave will follow him,
To the Devil will they fly.
Oh. It'll be okay, be okay, be okay,
To the Devil will they fly."

218

Confronting neo-Nazi hate: 'When I look at you guys, I do not think master race' (www.scrippsnews.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

52 comments fedilink

Article details how reporter -- pre-armed with relevant facts and cameras -- confronts neoNazis in Tennessee. | Excerpts:

Members of the Goyim Defense League harassed people in the heart of Nashville's entertainment district, berating a lesbian mom who had just left a restaurant.

Later, the neo-Nazis assaulted a bartender who had confronted the group.

"I'm curious: Why Nashville? Why did you guys choose Nashville?" I asked Minadeo.

A fellow GDL member, Nicholas Bysheim, quickly answered.

"It's the only place that respects freedom of speech," Bysheim said.

Minadeo added, "Yeah, this city respects freedom of speech, but communist Jews like yourself don't."

A Californian who moved to Florida, Minadeo leads the hate group as it goes around the country trying to create scenes that they hope will bring them attention and followers.

One of their favorite tropes: Falsely accusing Jews of being pedophiles.

Over and over, it became clear that these are people who are blind to any facts that don't support their hate.

These are really pathetic human beings.

They are the only ones who seem not to know it.

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‘Hugely hammered’: Key senator sees momentum to pass Congress stock trading ban (www.rawstory.com)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink

For 12 years, Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR) has pushed for a ban on congressional stock trading, calling the practice “corrupt,” “unacceptable” and “wrong.”

Now, Merkley is confident an amended version of the Ending Trading and Holdings in Congressional Stocks (ETHICS) Act has enough bipartisan support that it will come out of a markup meeting with the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs on Wednesday with the votes necessary to present the amendment for a vote.

EDIT: It passed out of committee, so now it can go to the floor. https://www.businessinsider.com/senate-new-ban-stock-trading-merkley-ossoff-hawley-2024-7

One key difference between this bill and previous proposals is that it doesn't allow for lawmakers to continue holding stocks via "blind trusts," which some have criticized as insufficient.

There are still certain assets that lawmakers and their families could continue to hold, such as mutual funds, US Treasury bills, and municipal bonds.

Despite the progress represented by Wednesday's committee vote, it's unclear when or if the bill will come up for a vote.

Just a few weeks of session remain for the rest of this year, and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has historically been hesitant to bring up bills that don't already have enough votes to pass. It's unclear if that's the case with this bill.

276

'Is Stephen Miller okay?': Dems gleeful as Trump adviser has 'meltdown' over Biden dropout (www.rawstory.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

65 comments fedilink

Miller appeared on Fox News on Sunday, where he went off on a rant about the Democratic votes were thrown away as the party rallies around Vice President Kamala Harris.

"They held a primary. They had ballots. They filled out circles!" Miller shouted on Fox News. "They went to the voting booths. They spent money on advertisements!"

Still yelling, Miller says that Republicans also spent money running against Biden.

196

Biden drops out of the 2024 presidential race, leaving the Democratic nomination open (www.cbsnews.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

88 comments fedilink

"While it has been my intention to seek reelection, I believe it is in the best interest of my party and the country for me to stand down and to focus solely on fulfilling my duties as president for my term," Mr. Biden posted in a statement on social media.

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U.S. Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, an icon of Houston politics, dies at 74 after cancer battle (www.houstonchronicle.com)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

2 comments fedilink

First elected to represent the 18th Congressional District in 1994, Jackson Lee quickly rose to prominence within Houston’s congressional delegation, securing overwhelming victories, election after election. She became known as a fierce advocate for women and people of color and made a national name for herself with iconic House floor speeches and perennial media appearances.

She was poised to secure a 15th term in office this fall after achieving a decisive victory in the March primary against upstart challenger Amanda Edwards.