its_me_xiphos

I'm not quite sure how to jump into this, so here we go.

I've found myself unable to get new work but am in a position that I know my job is gone in 3 months. Academic, no funding.

I've been using Claude to parse through job postings and help me tailor a CV or resume. I never, if at all, even get a rejection email. I'm sad to say but leaving academia is going to likely be a survival issue. The prospect of having to get passed AI screeners is insane to me. AI is ruining so much in ordinary everyday life so rapidly that I'm frankly shocked...and I did climate disaster research so I'm hard to shock.

Thank you. I just needed to read that.

I'm ok. Made a big change with my family and moved after a residence permit was approved to another country (2+ year process). Starting over isn't the right term, maybe learning to adult? Everything is just a little different, so I find myself lost or confused on everything from the grocery store, to the market, to norms on crossing the street. It's overwhelming.

Applying for jobs has been, well, bad like everywhere else. So much ghosting or emails that start with "Thank you for applying..." or "With over 100 candidates..." and you can take it from there.

I tried it in BG3 and just nopped out. I just can't do it. Neutral at worst for me.

Ok? I've been applying for every grant that I remotely qualify for (academic stuff). I moved across the world with my family. Trying to get myself started again and not feel worthless has been a challenge.

I hear feel this. I've applied to jobs, consulting roles, grants (I'm an academic). I empathize and you're not alone in this.

Good week so far. Applying for grants and jobs, ditching Windows entirely and going with Pop_Os, reading a ton of history books just for fun.

I had a visa application in for another country. Was a long term long time plan to relocate back to the old country. My timing could not be worse, as the mood at the consulate has...shifted?

Public Administration and Policy.

Meh? I'm a uni professor and I gave a subpar lecture. I really care so when I feel things don't go well, it hits me hard. I'm very tired and stressed and can see the same in my students.

I also want to fight back against the nonsense in my country; not sign holding, not performative nonsense, but can't find an outlet or ally. Its frustrating feeling powerless, seeing my students scared and suffering, and feeling useless.

Reminder: Do a little something for yourself. I shut my email down, took a minute off from advocating, job hunting paused, and I played no mans sky for 4 hours. I then made some bread and took a walk.

I was recharged and ready to continue. I forget to do this for myself sometimes and it really does help. So I'm alright this week.

I went to a day long Zazen retreat and it was lovely. Little victories. Needed the reset.