hyattpotter

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

you lefffft our server T.T

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

wdym bro I'm right here!

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

hor.. how you know so well they playboy unker.. unless... xD

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (4 children)

did you leave because of what I said T.T

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Isn't that what I just said? O.O

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (8 children)

I feel like if you don't want people to reach out to you then don't join..? >.<

Having them not respond to a host rather than a direct PM surely is less pressure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I haven't, and I'm not sure if I could. The whole point of relo is to have someone to come home to, and I'm not much of a chatter tbh (despite what it might seem like online). I notice that once I get comfortable with someone, I stop chatter and just like their presence near me. It's number 1 signal that I'm in a great place with them: that I no longer have to keep talking to ensure that they are still interested in me.

Not sure if that's a good thing tbh lel.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (10 children)

I'm not so certain there would be pressure, I mean it's sort of what one should expect since we're putting ourselves out there... Even if there is pressure, maybe this would be good practice to not do things out of pressure? :S Not something we don't have control over though, we could always put these in a disclaimer that you have to agree to when you sign up.

Most likely the people who signed up would not use their username but a nickname that they would actually use to introduce themselves as irl, or at least, that was what I had in mind. Also it's sort of a control test so it's by design; if I am hosting it, then I am responsible. I also serve as a gatekeeper; some girls may be too cavalier about giving out their info or what not and vice versa. I dunno, so many things that we have yet to experience until we actually do it to be able to see this from all angles.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

FUCKING GELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (12 children)

OOH right blind MEETUPs, yeah that sounds good!

I was also thinking:

we don't get to exchange contacts until we've gone through two sessions (for safety reasons among others). The contacts will be sent via the host i.e: Person A wants to connect with Person B. So host will send Person B Person A's contact, it will be up to B to respond to A.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Someone mentioned why dcx seem a little but more gatal lately xD

I do think dating apps play a huge part in the hook-up culture, if not directly. But I mean, it's the internet right. It was happening regardless. An app is somewhat more regulated, we get a peek at the packaging (so to speak) and it's somewhat anonymous but not anonymous at the same time.

On the other hand, I know so many couples who end up getting married from these apps as well. Pros and cons ey. I think the internet severely damaged our social skills collectively tbh. Either that or I can continue to blame the direction of my house for facing the west on a tuesday..

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Oof, you're not the first person who refers to the "wizard" but I hope it didn't come off offensive >.<

That what I thought too, tbh. Surely men want younger women, I mean it's all about pros and cons right realistically speaking, haha.

 
 

Okay lemme preface this by saying unker hyatt is also not the best at this. I'm in my early 30s (F), I'm not that great at small talk, I don't have fire one line starters (please share if you do, PLEASE), and I'm also really bad at returning texts, but when I am present, I am present, so take what I write here with a pinch of salt; it's mostly anecdotal but if anyone can relate, please validate my experience T.T

  1. The handsome offshore engineer or pilot from foreign country type
    These have got to be bots, right? I've never stuck around to find out, but they often have very short bios and have horrible English despite coming from majority English-speaking countries.

  2. The level 40++ wizard type
    Personally, I think I prefer having someone that has some relationship experience at my age. I don't think I have the energy to deal with the training wheels all over again and to be honest, I feel like men who's lived alone all this while would find it hard to have their routine, space and privacy disturbed. They've probably also settled in taking care of themselves that mentally it might not occur to them to extend the same care to their special other, especially after when the honeymoon period ends. Either that or they put you on a pedestal on the account of being โœจ female โœจ, which in itself is very very uncomfortable. Please touch some grass.. These types are also more likely to mansplain stuff to you, and somehow have developed very rigid ideas relating to "man vs women" type of stuff that often comes off very misogynistic, which makes me no longer wonder why they are still single at their age..

  3. The dry talking type
    Why. Like why would you not ask me some things as well? And why are you just answering questions with a yes and a no without elaboration? Why are you even on apps if you chat this way? Do you regret matching with me? Like what is it??

  4. The over eager type
    I'm not sure if this is gender specific, but I have a feeling it could have stemmed from just being jaded using these apps over time. I've had some chats where they just straight up ask to meet up from like the first or second chat. As an introvert I would hate to meet up with someone I haven't made sure we at least have something in common yet. Is it just me? I think it's super aggressive, or worse, it could be a MLM meeting!

  5. The no respect for privacy type
    "Can I have your number? What company do you work for? Where do you live?" Bro...

  6. The want to hampsap but don't dare to hamsap all the way type
    "Wow, your dress is so gorgeous.. hugs you in all the right places.. especially your.. ๐Ÿ˜‹"

  7. The terus hamsap all the way type
    "Greetings, here is my dick."

  8. The condescending type
    "Aren't you flattered?" Uh, no. Bad way to start any sort of relationship when you make the other party feel like you threw them a bone.

  9. The time traveler's wife type
    This one I am guilty of. Sure no one is "bad" at texting, but I'm really bad at checking my dating apps when there isn't any exciting chatter. I am also busy, but honestly I'm not even sure I would even if I wasn't. I've also had really nice chats where the guy replies like, in two days or more. That coupled with my own shitty tendencies pretty much sealed the fate of whatever potential that date could have I guess :/ When he does reply, I try my best to chat as much as I can because I don't know when is the next time we could again as soon as he disappears ๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. The bio don't match experience type
    I'm not that great at small talk (in fact I hate it with a vengeance..) so I often start with information gleaned from their profile. Kinda weird sometimes when I refer to their job or something they said they enjoy doing and getting a "huh?". I'm still not quite sure what to make of it...

So yup, that's mostly my experience on dating apps so far. I've since taken a break from dating apps and choosing to take it easy instead. I dunno, it feels shallow and empty, and starting to feel like a chore at times.. and I'm not even doing it often, lol. I've met guys irl that I would have loved to date which I might not have swiped on from an app, and vice versa. I think meeting people in an organic setting feels more authentic, with or without romantic expectations. Just making friends, and just friends, feels way more satisfying tbh which was what I have been doing on the sub so far.

Now that we're on a new platform.. well I guess we'll see if I can make some here too :)

 

Hey guys, still trying my hand at this lemmy thing, heh. Bare with me as I set things up.

I'd love to provide a space for Malaysians to discuss about relationships, dating and more starting from here. Banner and icons to follow soon! Meanwhile, if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. See you guys around :)

 

Anyone care to share what are your experiences? Do you think it's the same for all genders?

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