hexbee

if anyone with huge medical anxieties, or servere reactions to antidepressant medications that gave them crippling fear and you found a way to overcome it, id love to hear any kind of advice or help.

I do have huge medical anxieties, largely due to how trans people are treated by the segregated healthcare system in the ukkk, but I haven't exactly found a way to overcome it. I'm also dealing with addiction to a substance that at least temporarily numbs the overwhelming panic, but it's not a great solution, and a lot of my efforts are spent on trying to come off it in a way that's sustainable. In lieu of going cold turkey, which triggers autistic meltdowns and makes me dangerously suicidal, I'm methodically lowering my intake over a longer period of time (as in months) and trying to deal with whatever anguish comes up one bit at a time. I guess the hope is to get to a place where I'm not completely dissociating all the time and find more healthy ways to cope with/channel the despair, but I don't think that's even a guarantee and it's hard to imagine that I'll be able to overcome any institutional barriers through any newfound sheer force of will. But either way, it feels like one of the only things I'm able to do to help myself in some way, so I'll keep at it.

I'm sorry if this rant wasn't very helpful, or if you expected something else, but it seems the most I can offer is to commiserate about how shit it all is. Standalone posts do tend to get more attention than comments in this mega, so I would encourage you to make one if you're looking for more responses. Hang in there pal (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ

It's the least I can do <3

yw!

Bipolar doesn't turn you into a Nazi