Put brand new drive into system, begin clone
When clone is done, pull drive out and place in a cardboard box
Take that box to my off-site storage (neighbors house) and bury it
(In truth I couldn't afford to get to the 1 off-site in time and have potentially tragically lost almost 4TB of data that, while replacable, will take time because I don't fucking remember what I even had lol. Gonna take the drives to a specialist tho cuz I think the plates are fine and it's the actual reading mechanism that's busted)
You're leaving out the massively important fact that a basic science fact that one can experiment and experience themselves on a cool morning is enough to destroy these idiots. If your world view is that fragile then you deserve all mockery you get for holding it continually