dullbananas

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF
 

Hello New Century Residents!

I know it is dry here in the dusty state of Arizona, however, our fire alarms in Century are very sensitive. Every year we have a student who has a very restless first night from 1-2 hours of their fire alarm going after using a humidifier. Please refrain from using humidifiers in your room so that you are not this person!! A humidifier will trigger your fire alarm and it will take at least 1.5 hours to reset.

Thank you!

 

Shortly before we left, we did performances that we previously prepared in groups. Girl 7 is one of the girls I mostly thought about before, and she was in another group that was doing a song parody. Anticipation started building up when I saw her with one of the microphones in the beginning. When she sang her part, I was very delighted by her voice. Later, I told her that she sounded so beautiful. She thanked me, smiled, and overall had a reaction that I like so much. I should have tried to have a conversation with her (e.g. asking if she sings a lot), but I didn't think of doing that. This shows the importance of considering the possibility of conversation potential in every single interaction, so Pansystellar will teach that and also list simple ways of continuing a conversation so it can be done fast enough even before the whole thing becomes habitual.

After we returned to ASU, me and my dad were walking to the car to go home, and it was in front of a building, and I saw no one other than girl 7 in front of the building, and she appeared to be waiting to be picked up. After I put my stuff in the back of the car, I immediately went in the car, and now I think I should have first ran to the girl and asked if she wanted my number. In addition to the crush prediction concept I will describe next, faster recognition of the possibility that it was my last chance would have helped.

Later that day, I started to have crush toward her. (I said it that way because I realized that saying "a crush on" instead of something that matches how other feelings are communicated could be a brainwashing factor.) That evening, girl 7 was the only life I saw at E2 that I thought about more than the bathroom rodent.

The next day (today), I noticed patterns in what happens before I start to have crush. The main one is a girl visibly feeling very good after I say something to her, which is what happened with girl 7 and multiple other girls in the past. Another one is me sensing dominance in a girl (this indicator seems to be mild). Then I realized that this knowledge could be used to predict crush before I have it, and that I could kinda act on predicted crush instead of only present crush. This results in a new category of speed, especially for the build-up of courage and fear of regret, and for decisions of who to interact with. It can also create a less foggy view of desires and emotional reactions. And the concept of acting on future crush means working around the constraint of time itself, which is a very marketable feature of Pansystellar 😂

Another thing, not about this girl in particular: I realized very late that people at E2 would be likely to enjoy and understand my youtube short about Joe Biden saying we're "created by the Go you know the you know the thing" because the referenced programming language Go is more likely to be familiar. I could have gone to someone (maybe someone whose name tag indicates a computer science related major) and showed them this, instead of only showing people my less niche stuff. Pansystellar should encourage people to avoid forgetting how much shared interest is around them.

Update: the first wave of crush toward her (currently the only one) lasted less than 3 days

1
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

 
 

It's possible that after being told that girl 3 (the "McDonald's girl") had a boyfriend, I forgot that my overall interaction with her was good by itself, not just as a step to a goal. This could be a contributing factor to my feeling of shame.

 

Disneyland

Where is Disneyland?

Disneyland is located at the blue block on the first floor.

What is Disneyland?

Disneyland is an 18 bedded children’s ward that deals with acute paediatric medical conditions from ages 0 to 16 years. Children are admitted to this ward mainly from the Accident & Emergency Department; however there are occasions where children are directly admitted to this ward.

 

Previous attempts to describe things about the mindset shift (dates of notes are for the last edit, and names are redacted):

  • May 12, 2024: journal/log entry written on the day of the mindset shift

    decide to seek platonic friendship with girls almost for its own sake

    • Use of the word "platonic" here might not be completely accurate
  • May 19: 3 excerpts of an early draft of the group chat messages

    I used to have a tendency to have excess focus on one girl, taking the next step in pursuing her, etc. I was afraid of not maintaining that focus enough. This kind of habit actually slowed me down and was bad for me.

    To be clear, if you have a crush on someone and you are afraid of saying hi to them, focusing a lot on doing it is a good thing. You are more likely to focus too little, rather than too much, when fighting against shyness.

    Thinking about the entire path to having a girlfriend and ultimately to marriage is useful for maintaining courage, but not for much else. Instead of thinking about how the details of what you do affects the bigger picture, just try to make the present moment good. This can make you more free and make your personality more visible.

  • May 20: group chat message

    I suggest that all of you should try to deeply know many people, make your whole personality seen by many people, and focus on making the present moment good.

    This is part of a change to myself I decided to make a week ago. I'm still working on an explanation of the whole thing, but I wanted you to be able to follow some of my advice in the last few days of the school year.

  • May 23-24: 3 group chat messages

    This is the main idea of the change I mentioned a few days ago: in my journey towards marriage, the next big step for me to work towards is me and a girl's personalities and values fitting together in a very good and visible way.

    What I said in the other text (know, be known, focus on present) is a requirement for this, and it replaces my cage-like tendency to prematurely try making up my mind and to have exclusive focus on one girl that spans a large amount of interactions. Also, it's a good mindset for all social interactions, which means it helps with more than just getting a girlfriend (in fact it's probably the lore behind me throwing a Kit Kat at _ and someone else). The exciting part is that it's one mindset for everything, which means the involved habits can be used and developed in all social situations, and I can get far in something without even thinking of it as platonic or not platonic.

    I am keeping the same principles of ambition. The difference is that the way in which I apply them will be less confined.

    I am excited about what this mindset makes possible for both you and me. That's why I worked hard to identify things in my subconscious and explain everything with enough clarity to properly guide you. Don't waste the potential.

    It's hard to believe I figured this out only 3 months after I was only starting to be brave enough to say hi to whoever I have a crush on.


Muh freedom


To be clear, making the present moment good doesn't mean staying in or near your comfort zone

  • May 27: journal/log entry

    realize how to explain the concept of romantic/platonic not being a thing most of the time in my new mindset: the full potential of the present moment must be accepted, and whether or not it's romantic is almost never for me to decide

  • June 14: private note

    Be yourself: pursue your vision of fun and strength, not of comfort

  • June 16: private note

    Pursuing girls, becoming confident and then less focused on one girl, [is] like plant needing to move to bigger pot

  • June 28: private note

    Be infinitely patient

A few hours ago, I might have nailed it.

There are 2 relevant categories of human behavior. Here's a description from ChatGPT:

  1. Goal-Directed Activities: These are actions undertaken with a clear, specific objective or outcome in mind. They are purpose-driven, often involving planning and effort to achieve a desired end state. Examples include working on a project, studying for an exam, or saving money for a purchase. This concept is widely discussed in psychology, especially within the context of motivation and goal-setting theory.

  2. Experiential Activities or Intrinsically Motivated Activities: These activities are pursued primarily for the experience itself rather than for any external reward or end goal. They are often done for enjoyment, relaxation, or personal satisfaction, and are motivated by intrinsic rewards such as pleasure, curiosity, or a sense of connection. Examples include socializing, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby. This concept is central to theories of intrinsic motivation and flow in psychology.

In philosophy, similar distinctions can be found in discussions about "means and ends" or "instrumental and intrinsic values." Activities with a specific goal are often seen as instrumental, serving as a means to an end, while activities enjoyed for their own sake embody intrinsic values.

Prompt

There are at least 2 categories of activities:

* Activities done with a clear, well-known goal. Ex: driving to a specific location, doing homework, implementing a software idea, sometimes flirting * Activities done to make the present moment good, often out of habit. Ex: normal socialization, watching TV, going to a concert

What is this existing concept in psychology or philosophy called?

Doing an intrinsically motivated activity is like grabbing balls out of a bucket and not seeing what you're grabbing until it's out of the bucket. The results (possibly some causing others) of the activity are represented by the balls.

My social behavior before the mindset shift can mostly be described as doing these at different times, if I remember correctly:

  • Goal-directed social interactions, with purpose of pursuing the long-term goal, mostly by either getting closer to someone or making myself stronger
  • Intrinsically motivated social interactions, completely platonic in most cases

✨ After the mindset shift:

  • Goal-directed or intrinsically motivated tweaks to interpersonal encounter selection (choose to be around certain people in a particular moment, choose to join a certain club, etc.)
  • Intrinsically motivated social interactions only
    • This explains why I felt like I now have "one mindset for everything"
  • Goal-directed analysis of observations about people or of the "balls" from social interactions

ChatGPT claims that George Levinger is relevant to this. Tangent: the Wikipedia article mentions this concept, which might be useful to include in the Pansystellar Architecture:

As two partners become increasingly interdependent and concerned with each other, their mutual involvement is pictured by a growing intersection between two circles or mutual "life spaces."

Prompt

For pursuing marriage, there should be this intrinsically motivated activity:

* Social interactions

And these goal-directed activities:

* Some things that affect who one interacts with
* Analyzing observations about people and the results of social interactions

Who originally taught this concept?

Response (accuracy not verified)

The concept you're referring to aligns closely with the ideas presented by George Levinger, a social psychologist known for his work on interpersonal relationships, including romantic relationships and marriage. He emphasized the importance of social interactions and the analysis of these interactions in forming and maintaining relationships.

Levinger's model of relationship development includes stages such as acquaintance, buildup, continuation, deterioration, and ending. In the initial stages, social interactions and the context of these interactions (such as shared environments or activities) are crucial in determining who individuals meet and interact with. Additionally, analyzing observations about these interactions helps individuals make decisions about pursuing a deeper relationship.

The principles you mentioned resonate with Levinger's ideas, particularly the emphasis on social interactions and analytical observations in the context of forming relationships.

Goal-directed interactions might still be needed for people who are still very shy. A fire or engine start analogy might be used for this.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Downvoted by my aae (after anyone else)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Did the mention of the Pansystellar Architecture confuse you?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Dopamine receptor downregulation

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bet they're instead continuing to use Instagram

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"I will build my church" - Jesus

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Another r*ctangle lover 🤮 /s

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Which "Christians"?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

People should become more hesitant to cooperate in the development of any non-libre software

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

The doctor should have rambled about facial recognition

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

No, it's referring to apolistic succession

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why are these considered anti-capitalist?

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