dennis5wheel

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

so how do you survive them? and on a daily basis?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

thanks a lot for all of this, so many things I didn't even consider. I never thought they could be this dangerous. Petty and childish? Every day, but this dangerous? Nope. How naive of me.

As I guess you know, it's very tiring to pretend interest when they bore me. It’s really dawning to me that the best outcome would be to work entirely somewhere else or follow your advice and ask my supervisor not to make me work with them.

I’m not that convinced about fake bonding with the nosy ones, because, why would I do that? I have no trouble discussing the weather or recipes with the other 50%, it’s just this clique that’s… childish and immature. And I don’t go to work to feel stressed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

while I'm very tempted to follow this route, what do I tell them if 2 of them gang together with the contradictory info I fed them and confront me? 'I don't recall ever saying that, please let me work'?

It's even worse when your supervisor sometimes acts like one of these people.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 11 months ago

I might just repeat like a broken record 'I don't want to talk about it and I hope you respect that'.

I still believe a nosy person will test this boundary, but I'll try it and see what happens.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Live your life according to your own schedule and speak your actual truth.

Last time I tried this approach they made me feel like shit and bullied me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

actually I don't agree.

To me this is deflection: they ask me something I don't want to answer, I lie to them and try to stay away from them: I don't disclose anything about me, they don't feel offended, don't start drama and leave me alone.

Gossips are gonna gossip no matter what I say, they need it, so I'd better disclose false information so they can attack me the least.

My strategy if they ask me again about my age if they suspect I lied to them or if they hear from other gossips my real age: lie again or say a ludicrous number. If they keep pestering me, remind them to go to work and go to work.

Sometimes I think I should work somewhere else.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’ve never really had a problem.

then my coworkers are all busybodies who don't know what boundaries are.

Still, answering 'how old are you' with 'none of your business' seems overkill. I just want them to leave me alone.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

everything's good, I didn't understand your /s

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

yeah, 40 and unmarried. I’m so lonely. I scream and cry myself to sleep every night. I drink 5 gallons of vodka just to make it thru a shift.

I imagine myself using your answers with my coworkers, who are gossips and they replying how rude I am, feeling outraged and refusing to help me with my job.

The thing is, I'd use this answer with people that separate their private life from their jobs, but where I am, and in nursing in general, this doesn't happen. And if they don't separate both things, then they stop helping all together when they perceive you as unfriendly, meaning I have to work more.

I guess the price I pay for their help is faking interest in their lives.

I need to work somewhere else, don't I?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

do you understand that this is an emotional response and it's kinda off to ask a person not to have trauma? do you think people like being bullied?

 

I’m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes I’m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).

I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why don’t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.

The way these women asked was accusatory, like I’m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: I’m 25, leave me alone.

Since that bad experience I’ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe I’m 25 because as said I look like it, don’t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they don’t push my buttons because I don’t give them any ammunition. It’s tolerable.

Note that I didn’t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them I’m 25 and they didn’t question it.

Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I don’t know if I’d get better assignments if I’m sincere about my age (I’d like that, but is it realistic?). I just don’t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I don’t want drama either, just to work and go home.

I lie to protect myself.

If I need to change this, why and how?

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