Everyone else should certainly post "cringe" because their definition is very broad. People think simply making an effortpost is cringe, not overly serious.
ashinadash
joined 2 years ago
No but also thanks for saying.
It would be easier if I just hated my younger self, I mean she was a terrible 4ch brainwormed gender essentialist liberal, but that was kind of a given with the circumstances. I'm talkin bout posts less than six months old.
I even wrote a huge thing about Wayhaven, which was pretty exciting. I caught up to end of book three, I love Wayhaven. "Back" might be a bit much though...
They are always saying this, which seems unlikely. How can this level of obnoxious not be insufferable to at least somebody?
It's a betrayal of the NCR's whole point, in the fiction, kinda. Badthesda.
The bearzone deserves a better class of gender accelerationist than this befuddled autist, but I'm glad to serve that role if I can.
Someone is ALWAYS fucking with me, I can tell because it's impossible to read social cues even irl, so it follows I am missing things.
I stopped talking because I didn't like that social interactions online every day were weighed against the brain voice that tells me I am dogshit, y'know posting for approval and encouragement, I wasn't a fan. So I stopped, which had the effect of destroying any confidence I had left 
If I am a standard issue hb user, I want to see the others.
YES
but not me. Different cringe.
I probably would have, but maybe the psychic damage would have been enough to make me stop right after? Get it over with?
I am no longer asking 
but if you were already an Ada Rook Enjoyer before this post then you're a TRUE TRANSGENDER PATRIOT 
Fallow is a silly little 640×480 RPG Maker narrative adventure game by Famous Screamy Musician Ada Rook, which in ways feels like a heavily expanded version of a fruity little TWINE game, Perseids or something. It's a game of oppressive atmosphere, desolate landscapes, really good pixel art and very vague storytelling.
The purples-and-golds of the burnt-out forests and dilapidated houses strike a really awesome contrast against the Game Boy green character sprites, sometimes highlighting the contrast between Isabelline's tiny living form, the massive/rotted out husks of old, dead electronics & machinery, and the collossal, alluring biomechanical structures churning away in the Skids. This world is dying, and I wanna know what the Dynon has to do with it. What the Machine Enthusiasts are after. What's in the clearing of the forest. Why it's no longer safe to be here. What's in the dreams. Rapid eye movement.
All of Isabelline's sisters have disappeared.
I've been trying to keep track of all the narrative threads, Isabelline's sisters and the three people mentioned in the carrier pidgeon note, the scripture referring to a Mary-Ann, the suspicious faceless creatures in the bulbs powered by vacuum tubes, but there's a lot going on. Do you know what the fuck is happening? I want to talk about it with you, so you should probably play it, nerd 
A rambling, treatbrained manifesto.
So let's say, purely for the sake of argument 
that you and I talking about a movie or manga or a novel something, and you told me a little about something you like. However, I noticed that it only seems to have cishets in it. 
No queers? Sorry, dropped.
These are not the thoughts of someone normal. All media has cishets in it, though, or it used to. Until I was in my teens I didn't think about it too hard, but then I read this funny orange book, Nevada by Imogen Binnie. It broke my brain in several ways, but majorly, I didn't realise before then that we were allowed to have trans people in our narratives? I don't know why I'm like this, but it was the beginning of my downward spiral. I'm a sad little gay and always have been, so I was pretty desperate to see anything more than the average, straight people kissing, thing. Representation Matters. At first I was just obsessed with yuri manga and anime, and that was okay for a little bit. Who remembers Miss Koizumi Loves Ramen Noodles? Or maybe Yurucamp? Raise your hand if someone sold you these as YURI and it turned out to be BAIT and you wasted your time because nobody would be honest about the queer content of an anime back then!!! 
The only manga that remain in my Tachiyomi library are So, Do You Want To Go Out, Or and After Hours. From there, it was logical to move to manhua, manhwa, and donghua about women kissing. Mage and Demon Queen, or like Soulmate, Ghosts of Greywoods, so on.
When I literally ran out out of decent webcomics about women kissing though, I stumbled my way into the murican (and it seems to be a deeply amerikkkan thing, or at least a western thing) romance novel. I have no idea how I did, but this increased my pool of stuff considerably. The other thing it did was reconnect me with trans people in fiction.
Look, if you know, you know. In movies it's only ever really The Silence of the Lambs or Boys Don't Cry. TV shows, it's all dramatic reveals on crime shows, or whatever. Bad unfunny sitcom jokes. Video games, don't even fucking try. Code Veronica deserves to be bullied. Despite the absolute state of things, I was always keeping my eyes open for trans rep, and I mean you could have been reading the Wandering Son manga, or any amount of low-quality ultra-misogynist gender-essentialist "genderbender" dogshit. I long for a future where kids don't have to deal with shit like that when lookin' for queer manga.
Novels, however, have funny tagging systems. Goodreads is so trash thanks to Amazon’s enforced decay of the site that frequently books end up with the wrong tags. And so, anything with two queer women who kiss in it sometimes gets filed under “romance”, even if it really should not. As a result I ended up discovering Detransition, Baby through my adventures gathering gay stuff. And hey, as it turns out, author Torrey Peters is at least aware of Imogen Binnie. Oh, and there’s a novel by Casey Plett, too? And then there are even more novels with transfemme protagonists outside of that??? In fact, probably a few hundred????
So here’s the thing, right? There are probably less than fifty films with trans people as protagonists, or even major characters. There are definitely less than fifty video games in that category. Novels, though? I have read thirty-six and have a further sixty on my immediate watch list to read. Probably another 40 or so on my Goodreads To-Read. If you limit yourself by rep in any other medium, you’ll be running out basically instantly. There actually are enough queer and trans books to sustain yourself on.
I do not wanna be inside the mind of your cishet protagonist, go away. Cis queers are fine, but I would really prefer you write someone cisn’t, because we can do better collectively than forcing cisgender representation down people’s throats, I mean keep that in the bedroom please. My decision has been: I will simply never read another book with a cishet protagonist, usually. Last one I did was Neuromancer by William Gibson, and holy shit did that ever reinforce why I’m doing this. It’s not an irredeemable text, but I don’t want to put up with that fucking shit. /r/menwritingwomen might be a stupid subreddit but it has a point. At time of writing the last I read any book with a cishet protagonist was in 2020. Conversely I am always interested in a decent cis queer protagonist too, like I can easily enjoy a Girl Flesh or an Our Wives Under The Sea for whatever other aspects of queer existence they might poke at. I am most enthusiastic for transfemme protagonists though, (I wish I could find nb transfemme leads but tagging makes it hard) however I am amicable to many different queer protagonists, from regular cis lesbians to nonbinary transmascs to agender peeps. Anything goes as long as it’s not cishet.
Representation of trans people by way of our own voices is more or less a fresh development of the last eleven years, so I consider myself sort of a cut-rate historical observer as well. A lot of these books, especially the ones about trans women, have their little spot on an ever-growing web that extends outward from the starting point of Orange Book, and I try to keep tabs on what sort of funny developments are ongoing. I have to read Cuckoo by Gretchen Felker-Martin and Brainwyrms by Allison Rumfitt. It’s been enriching to see how different genres and writers interact with trans fiction, and what gets depicted and doesn’t. I am an enthusiast of trans and to a certain extent broader queer representation. It is a beautiful little blossoming flower of love and I need to touch it at least once a month or else I will die.
Down with cis, up with trans.
Take for example my banner image. On mobile you can see Isabelline standing at the opening of whatever the fuck that is, looks great. Roughly a 16:9 window, maybe 1.85:
On desktop she is cut out 
scope asspect ratio looks awful. Mods pls 
Good ol' buttcraft 
I don't really mean in terms of mods, but like go off if you wanna. I'm a lifelong Minecraft enjoyer, played it basically from Alpha right up to release, and dropped off around 1.2ish. I've played it in bursts again over the years, but the more weird stuff they add the more weirded out I feel. I just wanna build houses with sloping rooves, sheesh... It does kind of make me wanna just give up and play Legacy Console on Wii U or something weird.
[Minecraft boomer alert I guess]
I don't totally hate what they've done with the game itself but it's clear that the launcher is a lost cause. Plus how does Java chug this badly on a Ryzen 2600? I have to choose between a performance mod that makes the game run, or pad support, because one of them uses Fabric and the other uses the other thing. Remember when Minecraft mods was just dumping .jar files into the game's directory?
I mean to ask, what is the way cool kids play Minecraft nowadays? Are there cool alternative launchers or modpaks or a specific version or whatever I can play that's cooler than Microsoft Occupied Minecraft and are more fun?
As preface, nobody who actually cares about games gives a shit about 240p on a cathode ray tube display, and any well-adjusted person will simply play Playstation games via Duckstation or something instead. That is the way to do it.
If you suck and you're me though, you might have found one of those 30" Toshiba TVs with the Orion tubes from like 2000 for free and decided to do something about it. Aside from CRTs being basically cooler OLEDs (deep deep contrast, bright colours, but also instant response time) 240p is actually pretty funny looking. There's nothing wrong with playing these games on a flatpanel with scanlines, some scanline settings and filters are actually very good. But look at these progressively drawn lines of phosphorescent light:
So maybe if you're as deranged as I am, you wanna play Playstation games with black inbetween every line on this radiation phosphor machine, how do? There's no way to load PS1 backups from a hard drive or SD card on a FreeMcBoot PS2 that I know of, (if possible please hmu) and while modern x86 
PCs can be made to output 240p it's kind of a bear involving goofy software config and a weird component converter. You can buy a Raspberry Pi 3/4/5 or Orange Pi, which have composite video out that is pretty good and can do 240p. There are even LakkaTV builds for 240p for these things.
But to my mind, the most efficient option is Wiistation. If you're a 
you probably have at least one Wii sitting around. I have three, one of which I found in a literal garbage bin at my last job. Your Wii has also possibly been supplanted: not only is Dolphin a really good emulator, but also a Wii U can do absolutely anything a Wii can on a flatpanel. But for whatever reason, the Wii U does not do 240p, where the Wii does.
If you look around on useless loser spots like stormfront, the "common knowledge" is that the Wii is 'just not cut out for PS1 emulation'. This was true back when WiiSXR was the only option, akin to how Wii64 is not very good. But since 2022, some utter nerd has been patching up that PCSX fork as WiiStation and it's actually really good.
It has HID controller support, so you can hook up a Dualshock 3 for some authenticity but the Wii Classic Controller Pro stands in for a PS1 Dualshock pretty well. It has disc swapping, tons of options, and it keeps getting cool and funny updates that make it perform better. Most recent one came out in March.
I have tested WiiStation with a bunch of hard to run (for low-end systems) Playstation games, like Vagrant Story, the original Driver, Klonoa Door to Phantomile, Metal Gear Solid, Ridge Racer Type 4, Wipeout 3 SE all work great at 100% speed. So what doesn't work? Tekken 3 drops the occasional frame (down to 59.10fps) but is mostly pretty good, Neversoft's PS1 Spider-Man is a shockingly difficult game to run and tanks into the 40fps zone routinely. It's been performing better as the dev improves CDDA streaming and stuff but it's a torture test for this emulator.
WiiStation also has pretty much the same compatibility issues as PCSX: you'll remember from this essay that the Playstation version of classic alltime great Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together is a hacked together mess full of fucked up code. It runs pretty well on WiiStation, but still spits out "Failed to load save." when loading any save from memcard. Idk what is wrong with PCSX's save format, but you could use savestates exclusively to get through. I might submit an issue on the github to be hilarious about it.
Wii homebrew development is extremely sleepy at the moment and nobody really talks about it, so it's not surprising that WiiStation flew under the radar. The Wii already has a killer niche as a dirt-cheap 240p gaming machine to hook up to a CRT for NES, Master System, Mega Drive, and SNES stuff, so to me adding "it's a pretty dang good Playstation as well" to its resume is funny. I like that about it.
Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.
I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to "be" that gender and how you define it. Don't fuss about 'correct definitions' or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.
Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people's subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! 
I'll share some of mine I guess.
I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor's edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman... if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? 
I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.
As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about "being a woman", equally I found I'd been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way... The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn't really like that "woman" is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I've felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it's cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)
Shouldn't