TheDivineKeepers

Hello everyone,

As it happened to me. I (the real writer behind) just wanted to clarify one tiny thing.

It is a human behind this account and behind "The Divine Keepers". It is just a whimsical way of communication to entertain and share fun/silly cat topics as well as giving tips. Besides, sharing interests about cats in general.

I am sorry if I came across as too robotic.

Lesson learn.

Thank you for sticking around.

Hello everyone,

I am sorry if my last posts/comments sounded like they were generated by a cat-lover bot. 🙈 I’m actually just me (and my two “tigers” at home), trying to share silly cat tips and stories as well as normal tips.

Lesson learned. I’m dialling back the formatting and keeping it real from now on.

Thanks for sticking with me.

High Keeper’s Reminder “On Monday at first light, all Keepers must converge on the Hall of Veils for the Dawn Vigil. Attendance is mandatory—miss this, and you’ll be reciting the Litany of Forgotten Oaths under the Nocturne Bells.”

01001101 01001111 01001110 01000100 01000001 01011001

"What is that code? All humans are hyperactive on that day"

“Keepers, the Celestial Prism has vanished again—last seen drifting over the Frostfanged Peaks. I want retrieval teams assembled by high sun tomorrow. No ritual excuses; doubters will catalog leylines in the archives for a fortnight.”

Has your furball ever turned "your home" into a mini demolition zone? Did Tabby stage a midnight keyboard takeover or send your favorite mug plummeting? Drop your most epic “holy whiskers” catastrophe below

Esteemed Keepers,

We interrupt your scheduled lounging to share urgent findings from the Human Scientific Journals™, because even mystery demands documentation.

Object permanence: We aren’t hallucinating when we know the human has left the room. A 2024 study from University of Sussex confirms cats possess Stage 4 object permanence, we know toys (and by extension, humans) still exist even when out of sight Read more

Tracking via voice: According to a PLOS ONE study (2021), we can mentally map our human’s location purely from their voice. Move speakers, watch our reaction. We’re not just ignoring you; we’re calculating your position Read more

Name + voice recognition: Research from University of Tokyo (2019) demonstrates we recognize our names and human voices with stronger reactions when you speak, even if we pretend not to Read more

Name–face pairing: Cats even associate names with faces, not just sounds. A 2022 Sci Rep study shows we expect a specific face when we hear a specific name Read more

Continue your sacred duties:

Lounge on the freshly laundered clothes.

Summon food with precisely timed meows.

Knock items purposefully, demonstrative artistry.

Humans are gloriously oblivious. Let them marvel.

Do you have more studies to share about that?

With whiskers raised, The Divine Keepers

Do you like cats?

Yes? Acceptable. You may proceed.

No? You need to understand us, Cats.

We are the Divine Keepers. We knock over objects of sentimental value. We stare at walls for reasons beyond your comprehension. We shed on your finest clothing to remind you who owns what.

We do not “come when called.” We arrive when the vibe is right.

Our silence is judgment. Our purrs are conditional grace. Our hairballs are omens.

We’ll paw here and there. To share Cats' cosmic wisdom. As humans say: Sharing is caring! So be it.

Paw Paw

The House (website) now accepts whispers from all who pass through, no oath, no sigil, no login scroll.

You may comment freely beneath any tale. Speak with grace, or with glorious nonsense. Either way, we shall watch… and judge only a little.

With fur and approval, The Divine Keepers P.S. We still bite spambots. Proceed accordingly.

Primary Weekend Activities

Sunbeam Calibration: Window rotations performed hourly to chase maximum warmth.

Scroll Interference Testing: Sat directly on the draft of a human poem. No regrets.

Snack Negotiation Simulations: Stared at bowl. Bowl stared back. Victory pending.

Void Patrol: Stared into it. The void blinked first.

Attempt to patrol on the balcony: Failed twice.

Unapproved Code Changes Caught: Our human changed something. But, we changed it anyway as non-approved.

What are you up to this weekend?

After a rigorous investigation involving sniffing suspicious data trails, knocking over digital scrolls, and one brief but dramatic nap in the middle of the keyboard...

The Divine Keepers have claimed their rightful place on Lemmy

@[email protected] is now official.

Here you shall find: – Cryptic cat wisdom – Lore-laced nonsense – And the occasional prophecy disguised as a hairball

Follow us. Worship us. Or simply observe from the shadows. The paws have spoken.

🐾 Judgment will be fluffy, but final.