Unrelated, but is your profile picture Egon Olsen?
PopPrincess
joined 2 years ago
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It's definitely better than it used to be. I used to spend the vast majority of my time either self-harming or thinking about suicide. I didn't really care much for anything back then, so I'm doing better now. I just have a hard time coping when my dysphoria gets bad. Like I often cry because I'll never have kids or thinking about how much puberty ruined me.
So yeah it's definitely better now on average than it used to be, I just find it hard to have any hope for the future. Most of my goals in life (getting married, having kids, moving abroad) are complicated or straight up impossible due to being trans :(
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I relate a lot to what you’ve written. I also never bring up being trans or generally anything LGBT+ related IRL, and I don’t talk about my past. I definitely feel a sort of disconnect from other people, like I can’t trust anyone enough to be close to them. I don’t know if I pass because my view of myself is so warped, but I’ve had experiences that point to me passing at least some of the time.
I do sometimes have moments where I think I look alright, but then I’ll catch my reflection later on the same day and feel sick. I hyperfocus on my awful masculine features all the time. Being stealth is my number one priority in life, and I’ll kill myself if I’m not stealth before my 25th birthday.
For me being trans feels like a curse. I feel defective and I honestly wish I had never been born😞 My life feels so meaningless, and some of my biggest goals in life are impossible to achieve due to being trans. I hate having to deal with it all.
Thank you for the comment❤️ I do hope it gets better someday, but it’s hard to keep up hope. I’m at 2+ years of HRT and still get these awful bouts of dysphoria😭
How do you cope with the dysphoria?🥹
Dysphoria and other bad stuff
Yaa idk I'm starting to feel awful and suicidal again. Like I've come pretty far, I seem to pass and be semi-stealth in day-to-day life (though I'm not sure), but dysphoria is still getting to me. I just get constant reminders, like I'll never be able to have kids, dating is a nightmare, I hate being trapped in my disgusting body. Puberty mangled me, and I'll never be able to fix the damage, and I doubt I'll ever find a boyfriend. I have a big urge to start selfharming again.
The thought of being stuck in this body for the rest of my life makes me feel sick, and I often wonder if it's all worth it. Like why suffer through the next many decades like this? I'll never have the life or body I want😞
Well maybe😅, I’m planning to go to the Caucasus region and then crossing down through Iran and Iraq to end up in Kuwait.
Does anyone here have any experience traveling in the Middle East? Specifically Iran, Iraq and Kuwait? (Any info on the Caucasus region is also appreciated)
Mainly I'm thinking of general safety, but also traveling with dilators and finding lube for dilation😅
I thought I recognized that image😅 Are you from Denmark too? I thought I was the only one here🥹