Nog00d

I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

I'm trying to be empathetic towards what that must be like for him, but...

I must first know his position on pineapple

GenX be like, "...aside from your mother"

Don't forget Western Asia Pacific!

That will surely bring down the price of eggs.

It sure seems like these "officials" are actively making decisions to get people killed by easily-preventable diseases.

Trollies trollies everywhere

She's a smoke show. Even today - check out Lincoln Lawyer on Netflix.

Good otter

Seriously, do not do this. People die every year from stupid shit like this. And then your family's last memory of you is your naked, lifeless body with a fucking belt around your neck.

Find some other way to get your rocks off.

TIL I don't care what the readers of the Denver Post think. Also, that paper is owned by a private investment firm in New York City, so it's entirely plausible that they've cherry-picked these comments to support their overlords' financial / political interests.

Man... anthropologists are gonna be pondering this one for millennia