MorallyCoffee

I know this sub isn't very active, but I don't have accounts anywhere else, so here goes . . .

I don't want to get into details right now, but my wife has made me promise to divorce her if I ever drink again . . . my heart is broken for the pain I have caused her to get us to this point.

I feel so stupid that this isn't the first time I've been here, either. I feel so stupid saying "this time it's for real," because we all know what to expect when an alcoholic says that :(

In terms of quantity, I've actually been drinking much less the past few years, but I think the infrequency might even be making my "mistakes" even worse when they happen :( So I don't have the excuse of infrequency. I can truly never drink again, and I'm so afraid I'm going to mess it up. I have CPTSD with terrible emotional flashbacks, and I'm afraid I'll lose control during one of them and ruin my marriage once and for all :(

So this is me, I'm here to join the stopdrinking community. Any encouragement, stories or advice you can give would be most welcome. Thank you.

Edit: Wow, thank you for the outpouring of support! I can't reply to all of your comments, but know that I've read and treasure them!

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/22551453

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
2. Go to # introduction
3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/22551453

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
2. Go to # introduction
3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
2. Go to # introduction
3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

I didn't quit as I said I would, but that's mostly been due to my sheer lack of motivation. I'm coming off of a really bad low point a few weeks ago that's had me making amends with my wife, returning to therapy for CPTSD yadda yadda . . . I'm honestly just exhausted and do not feel like I can climb that hill.

That said, I've had some small victories. I haven't completely quit, but I've gotten better at remembering the terrible smell before I light up, which has helped me cut down a lot. As a CPTSD survivor, I'm pretty practiced at working with the unconscious, so I find meditative visualization very effective (when I can be bothered). I can recommend a particular mp3 if there's interest.

So since I'm writing this, I guess I'll make another extra strong attempt tomorrow, but no promises.

P.s. Any motivation (except health scares) you can offer in the comments would be much appreciated 🙂

Just checking in for my quit, which starts tomorrow, and hopefully helping get this sub off the ground.

Edit: thanks for the well-wishes everyone. Turns out my wife and I did fight over something stupid, and I smoked, because I'm an idiot. Looking forward to doing it again tomorrow.