By extension, this is why I don't think defederating with Meta is an effective strategy. Like gourmet burger restaurants refusing to be on the same block as McDonalds.
Meta will get the big names as they exit Twitter, and become borderline necessary to federate with-- assuming updates from years of state, artists, activists, etc are of any interest to people considering your instance.
This is inevitable. I think the only discussion is how we have a vibrant enough community that EEE becomes less viable.
It's something we failed to do with email. I suspect the answer is approximate to far easier instance hosting, to increase the number of instances and make a federation whitelist unviable for Meta
Fediverse really needs onboarding pages that hides some of the wires.
Join Lemmy for example should highlight the content and UI, and a big "Join the Lemmy Fediverse" button. Click the button and it asks 3 questions and send you directly to account creation for an active instance matching your answers.
Frankly instance choice should be something people think about after they've been involved for a while, at least until we have a few multi-million active user instances to choose from