Imadethis

Okay, so this is mostly a joke, but since the enthusiasm is there, why not make it the real deal? Do the romance, do the fabulous environment, and then make an evening of it with your whole fist. Get deep, make a puzzled expression, and ask, "what's this?" Pull out your hand that you'd been magician-hiding the ring in, and present it.

Damn, they're already pretty small. A tenth of one might not even be felt!

The great thing about being bi (and all the flavors of it, which are way beyond me and my small brain), is ultimately that I don't have to care what I am. I just care about the person I'm looking at. Am I interested in their company, their genitals, or just to hang out? Then I go from there.

I'm not saying that you should not consider who you are, but your physical reality is going to be a better guide than anxiety driven by doubts. It might just be that you haven't met the right one. I know that my preferences range wildly between dudes and dudettes.... and those preferences are not at all mainstream. If I had never met, in person, the partner who made me realize I wasn't just into one gender, I would never have known because society tends to present a sort of master image of what is attractive, and that would never have made me look twice.

I think it would depend on who exactly is asking. My little christian friend, who probably thinks blowjobs are just the naughtiest thing out there, might get the suggestion of some very mild kinks, like a blindfold in the bedroom or getting one of those dice games where you have an action die and a body part die. My more 'experienced' friends? I think I'd recommend some breath play, to breathe that fresh air in, or some light pain/stimulus/deprivation. Remote control toys that are controlled by the partner during the day are always good as well, especially if it's not (because they're new and we're being safe about this) something that could get them in trouble.

Doesn't look little at all, mate!

Heh, appreciate what you've got, matey. It is amazing in relationships when things line up like that, whether sexual or in other areas.

it sucks that there aren’t a lot of options to get us both off at the same time

I'm trying to think here, and the only ones I know of are either plain addons (like taping a vibrator to the area), or an attachment/device that works like the rabbit vibrators. I personally have an anal kink, and have always wanted to try the toys that go in both at once.

Have a very serious (and hopefully short) conversation with the other half and put all faith in it having a positive outcome.

... I also might start pursuing ideas on how to prove there's a trickster god or we're in an alien experiment or in a simulation.

Then I'd test to see what it feels like for the other sex. I've always been curious.

I would happily do it to the partner. I don't know how I'd feel about my partner doing it to me. I'd feel bad for them having to put up with the mess. For me, I always like dental dams and condoms, so it wouldn't even be the fluid portion of it, just the fact that 'fluidy' kinks typically involve degradation, so it's linked in my mind as degrading my partner.

I'm okay with the thought that you're recording this because it's a crime (whether or not it should be a crime, that's a discussion, especially when in 'private' public places). I'm not okay with the thought that it makes recording it in order to put it on the internet okay.

but often penetration alone is not pleasurable enough for women

God, but this needs more awareness. There have even been studies of women's orgasm where they showed large gaps between penis in vagina only (lowest), penis in vagina AND man's hand rubbing, penis in vagina AND woman's hand rubbing, and penis in vagina AND man's hand rubbing being guided by woman's hand. The numbers were so far apart that it just blows my mind that anyone thinks penis in vagina alone is enough.

Right now your best best is the nsfw asklemmy. It likely gets the most views from people, so you're more likely to connect.