Outraged feelings aren't the problem. Nobody is complaining about defederating Nazis. Defending and lying about Stalinist atrocities is morally no different from defending and lying about Nazi atrocities. If you let Nazis and tankies overrun your communities they won't be a "real alternative." Just like with Nazis, tolerating intolerance is intolerant.
Gull
You're right - having multiple copies of everything is a drawback of housing each application in its own container or VM. The standard rejoinder is that disk space is cheap. The validity of that rejoinder depends on what you're doing and what hardware or budget you are working with.
Another problem is that old versions of these dependencies will be baked into an image that is then used for many years without updates. This ensures the application keeps working without being disrupted by an update to a shared library, but it also means things like security flaws persist. Arguably, this is mitigated by only that image having the problem, but one insecure app can be a real problem - especially when it accesses shared resources - and when the same problem applies to many applications.
Compiled code optimized for a specific system's hardware is less relevant than it used to be - even Gentoo users do not focus on this anymore. Rolling your own container isn't much harder than compiling with your own options.
You're doing the right thing. They're just trying to juice their own numbers by pressuring you to say something effusive.
Creating an instance is not free and requires some effort (including a little research). Discord is free and creating a server is as easy as falling off a log. I don't like Discord, but let's be objective about why this happens.
that sentence is not only valid for gender, it's for anything other cultural label (like genders are).
How about race? Can white people elect to be Black?
Execs aren't suffering...
Instances are still privately operated and at the whim of their operators, who are technically free to delete and modify posts arbitrarily. They are not public spaces.
Just like every "grassroots" political campaign on Reddit that suddenly arises, and then disappears just as suddenly after failing.
Discord also excels for punitive struggle sessions where someone is chosen to be "it" and is then verbally beaten by a rotating cast for hours.
Communities move to Discord because it is a catchment: you can set up a server for free on a moment's notice, which gives you a place to hold a decent proportion of your community for continuity. The mod tools are also sufficient for basic use. You're right that it's not a replacement for a forum - terrible for archival and search purposes.
The medium structures and drives the interactions. Decisions about the medium are amplified in effect. (Some) people have always been bad, but what they do and what effect it has varies with the medium.