Damn, that's without a doubt a perfect synopsis of what's going on here. Seriously, I'm impressed.
“What difference would the answer make?”
If the answer is: "Yes, it's very important." Then I know what to improve. If the answer is something along the lines of: "The important part is the connection between the two parties." Then I don't know what to do, to be honest.
Romantic/sexual banter.
I get the whole "Just the be yourself" message. But right now things just aren't moving. Like, at all. And I do have plenty of hobbies. Even meeting women is genuinely not a problem for me. So I'm kind of stuck between the being myself and changing strategies. To be honest with you. If being myself means I don't ever find someone, which over the years have quite clearly proven to be the case. Then I say: "Fuck being myself."
I don’t know why everyone else here says “No.” Maybe it’s down to preference.
Well, at least it makes the discussion more interesting.😅
And I usually don’t have any ulterior motives.
Well I for one usually do have said ulterior motives (I want to see them romantically). Shouldn't I then be a bit more (flirtatiously) direct with them?
“Hey, I really enjoyed that conversation, let’s meet for a coffee some day, how can I text you?”
But if I sign it off like this. That would MAKE the message pretty clear, right?
If you say “Hey, I really enjoyed that conversation, let’s meet for a coffee some day, how can I text you?”
When given chance, this is basically the way I go about it. Just a quick on-the-side question: How quickly do you usually suggest something like that?
And bordering on what I’d call flirting.
What would you call flirting?
I am not a great active flirter, but I do know that my words and body language will do the heavy lifting, unconsciously.
Perhaps you’re in the same boat?
I would say, yes. However, it has been somewhat of a fruitless endeavour for me. (rightly or wrongly so)
But how are they supposed to find out if it’s just a nice conversation, or if I want to meet them again, or if I want to go on a date with them?
If I'm having a friendly chat with someone and I suggest we meet again in a different setting, wouldn't that be a clear enough sign?
Flirting is part of the process
Okay and how big (would you say) is that part?
It’s also a pretty broad term.
Would you say that talking amicably, counts as flirting?
True. But in my experience, people tend to engage a little better in the conversation if it feels more natural.
You mean this guy?