When bro is such a bro you completely forget he's trans.
My wife's got a friend this happens with all the time. She'll be talking to him and something about our oldest will come up. She'll make some remark to him thinking he'll relate, entirely forgetting that he had to transition so he didn't experience whatever it was the same way.
Shitty people don't tend to genuinely question whether or not they're shitty. You may be "involuntarily celibate," but you're not an "Incel" in the way most people online mean. Those people generally hate women and blame them for their loneliness. You not wanting to be the kind of person that drags others down to feel superior already makes you a much better person than that.
It absolutely can be if you let it get out of control. I still struggle with it in fact. It can cause emotional burnout, wreck your mental health, things like that. To be fair, even the "good" version of this gets weaponized to ignore causes that someone might not want to care about without "being a bad person" all the time. Think the "I have to prioritize my own mental health" types who only seem to have energy for issues that directly affect them. Again having limited emotional energy isn't the issue, being disingenuous about it is.
But that's not what this freak is talking about. What this freak is talking about amounts to "Empathy is reserved for the in-group. If it impedes our efforts or contradicts our dogma, then it's toxic empathy," basically.
Bans that the only real way to enforce is subjecting children to genital inspections by the way. A lot of these bans as well from what I've seen take the form of "Allow parents to accuse kid of being trans," usually in the form of "She doesn't look girly enough," to which the accused now basically has to prove they're not trans. Which as stated generally has to be let an approved doctor poke at your bits until he's satisfied you were born with the "correct" ones.
This reminds me of a burn my wife gave to a random guy that decided to hit on her one day she was out running errands while I was taking care of the kids.
Deadass just first thing out of her mouth after he hit her with the "I won't tell if you won't," to her saying she's married. "Ew, I'm gonna need you to tell me what about any of this (gesturing to her entire Butch Lesbian look) made you believe I was straight so I can immediately remedy it." I almost felt bad for the guy for a second. Almost.