KDE connect was such a game changer for me.
Beryl
joined 3 months ago
It's great to hear that you don't want to die. Having a difficult time expressing your emotions doesn't mean that they aren't there. You're only 20 and there is so much of life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to transition, and based on what you've described here it seems likely that you would receive a gender dysphoria diagnosis if you sought it out.
There are plenty of things you can do before that to focus on gender affirmation and taking care of your mental well being. You're in a really emotionally intense stage of your life and transition and it is important that you treat yourself kindly. How you are now is not how you will remain.
There's a comedy skit by Caroline Easom where she plays an orthodontist and asks a patient why she didn't get braces as a kid. The patient says she couldn't afford them and the ortho says "I've never heard of that..." In a very perplexed voice.