Yeah sure like blacklist instead of exclusion list. I get it. Really I do. I feel like saying you're progressive instantly means you aren't - so I still won't say it.
They/them is a way to refer to anyone without making ANY assumptions about gender - because it's entirely unnecessary to do so. I don't see how calling someone who identifies as female 'they' has any affect on someone who is transgendered or specifically prefers they/them identifiers. It sounds like the intent there is that they/them is exclusive for transgender...which as of this time I can't agree with.
If it's done intentionally to disparage trans allies then sure - that makes good sense - but this clearly wasn't done in bad faith.
The only people who need to know who the originating sources are are the wholesalers, and I'm pretty sure at that level they have a good sense of who is originating or not. Or maybe they also don't care as long as it works and the price is right.
At the individual level, you have to assume that your provider is not the originating source - that's just how it works. Discovering whether or not you are using a reseller or a wholesaler though? It should be fairly easy to tell from the services and support they offer.