AddLemmus

I always have the feeling that there is "no time" to start in the beginning. "I SHOULD know that already", "I'll pick it up on the way", "It'd take too long to start there" and other excuses.

But experience tells a different story: When I dare to start at the very beginning, no matter how small, it often lead to great success, while jumping into the middle never got me anywhere.

In your concrete situation with programming: After getting a grasp with BASIC and Pascal in the late 80s, I wanted to learn Assembly and really understand it. And so I did. And it was not wasted time. (Except for macro assembler, aimed at really using it for big projects; could have skipped through that and just used the old MS-DOS debug tool.) Some of my most fond memories with the PC were not fancy UIs I developed, but how I wrote a 10 byte long program directly into the MBR of a floppy disc and booted from it to execute it, without loading any OS.

Later with C, C++, Java, I also focussed on the core language and libraries, only then moved on to UIs and big frameworks. And it did me a great service once more. I notice people around me who skipped through the Java fundamentals in less than a week and got right into a big framework - even 10 years after, they have odd misconceptions and knowledge gaps that hinder their development.

But I also respect that there are different approaches that work better for other people.

You could also go a middle way, for example: Set a weekday that is for "core research". But don't try to "wing it", won't work. It needs to be an automated reminder on your calendar, a differently marked column on your habit tracker, whatever you use.

It is very, very likely that there is a better option for you. Just to name one: You could get methylphenidate (or even Vyvanse again) and use it only as needed. A lot can get done in 10 or 20 "power-days" per year, even when you just drag along for the rest of it.

I didn’t love feeling drained at the end of the day when I crashed

That can be eliminated completely: Don't let the loss of appetite fool you, eat by exact calorie count & clock, against all instincts. Don't take it in the morning without enough food either. After anything that would require a rest otherwise, such as a long walk, even after lunch when you didn't have enough sleep at night, certainly after a workout, take as much rest as you'd normally need, even when you don't feel like it. Even 20 minutes cleaning, 10 minutes rest; don't go into a cleaning frenzy.

It goes to zero. (Experiences may vary, but I went from crashing after 3 - 4 hours to no crashes at all, being happy and productive after 14 minutes awake, then fall asleep instantly.)

You are doing a great job, getting him diagnosed so early and making this decision responsibly!

I did NOT get medicated. The problem is that it resulted in a huge number of minor traumatic experiences: Isolated in class, because I don't keep up with topics of conversation such as trading cards, games, sports. Less successful even with the things I'm passionate about, sometimes due to trivial things such as missing training day or forgetting my equipment. Delaying things until they become a huge problem, then doing them in a painful adrenaline-filled frenzy. Pain from forcing myself to just do something such as homework or cleaning.

You did a great thing getting your son diagnosed so early! I can't even imagine where I would be if I had that asset in my life, to just know.

I suggest to go with the science rather than anecdotes of strangers. Is the diagnosis certain, and is the benefit of medication clear? Is it the best option? From what I read, it often is, but not always.

For my own child, as it so happens also 7 years old, I'm going to do it. There are significant problems at school that make the choice easier. But I'm also using other means such as fidget toys in class and a wobble cushion.

Not looking forward to that ... I slowly increased the dose over 6 months as effects were fading, but I'm near the normal adult dose.

Would Modafinil work during the "holidays"? It has a very decent effect on me, although with huge side effects, but things get done and it should not (as I understand the matter) have cross-tolerance with a stimulant.

Worst mistake I keep making: I think "I did it 2 days ago, don't need to today."

The reality is: Having less than one load of dirty laundry is a theoretical state that is rarely reached.

It's an illusion, caused by stacks of laundry that "don't count", because they are wool and I'm waiting for a full load of wool (in reality, they add up already), or they have some other kind of "special status".

Or heck, let's just only ever start when there is nothing to wear, or the laundry bin is overflowing.

That is a method which actually worked out, for years! Just now, with a child, I use a dishwasher.

One big regret: As a single, I should have bought one of those tiny dishwashers that don't need installing and can just be filled with water on top.

Nice! It worked out great in my case, but I had to lower my expectations regarding the timeline and how much I had to keep pushing for the next step. They'll probably get you evaluated by a psychologist now and take care of the series of appointments, but you probably have to be quite pushy to get the formal diagnostic, either from a licensed psychological psychotherapist or a psychiatrist. Then, push again to get an appointment with the psychiatrist for the prescription. (Or find a local one yourself; it's good profit for them when you are already diagnosed.) Would seem more efficient to me when the psychiatrist also does the diagnostic.

Still 100x easier than the "normal" method. It would be a great improvement when they take care of a series of appointments until you hold the prescription in your hands.

Sorry. This got way longer than I wanted it to lol

Same happened with my post ...

Yes, the one thing that got better from meds alone is that I can just make the decision to start something, and I'll do it. And that is fantastic! But my forgetfulness and "senile" behaviour is the same. I'm basically Joe Biden on speed. Mistakes happen, but things get done.

And it feels like I got "better" at doomscrolling. New trap, but I'm on it.

The thing with the spreadsheet is absolutely justified, keep it. I use my mail client to mark things as "todo", "urgent" etc., but guess what happens ... nothing.

There is a private clinic that is more streamlined: GAM Medical. You have to pay out of pocked, but honestly, even without a high paying job, it's easier to get the money than it is to jump through all those hoops. My insurance (GKV) costs me € 1100 per month, but I still pay a few 100 out of pocket for meeting their psychiatrist once and paying for my meds.

It's not perfect, though. They too seem to miss the point that it's hard for us to keep pushing and prodding for the next step. I wish it were just a series of automatic appointments. It's slow, you'll have to keep pushing, mailing, calling them for the next and the next and the next step, but in like 6 months, there's a good chance you got your diagnosis and your treatment, be it therapy, meds or both.

I got pretty frustrated with them, but unlike every other option I tried, they delivered - eventually.

You could, in theory, also use them just to get diagnosed. Then, it would be easier to find a psychiatrist for the prescription, because at that point, that's a lot of money for very little effort for a doctor. Could even have insurance pay. Extra work, though.

Which ones do you find bad?