Ha! I switched to perfectly round glasses for completely unrelated reasons and certain demographics who tended to be threatened by my complexion almost stopped entirely. That was a funny quirk of a minor style change.
But also I'm not a big dude. I just happen to fit a description.
Let me just say, dude, that you are not alone. There are a lot of people who feel this struggle and there is no simple answer to this problem. Because it is societal. You probably already know this but I want to start off with that.
I can see every little thing you think is threatening to others and it's all there. You're black. You're a man. You're a black man. You have strong features. You wear clothes. And you exist.
That shouldn't be your problem, but more than a century of propaganda has made it so. Me and everyone else has been conditioned to fear you.
With all that said, I can echo some other comments. Take the advice on fashionable clothing. Aside from the other positives, it feels good to look good. You've saved up for surgery, spend it on that instead. Find a fashionable friend and get advice. There are multiple ways to achieve it without feeling untrue to yourself.
Learn to smile as your opener. To others and to yourself.
Most importantly, spend that money you saved on therapy. It isn't there to fix you. It's there to help give you the tools to cope with the reality of things. It isn't bullshit. No amount of aesthetic adjustments will fix what's going on in your head and your heart.
Candidly, you seem like you're not in a good fucking way. Get help. Peace.