this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
550 points (97.1% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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top 27 comments
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Are we missing the part where he stole her baby

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Try to get her back, bitch. CARE BEAR BLAST!!!" -Jesus

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That was Jesus' baby all along. If you don't believe me we'll have to cut it in half to see who the real mother is. Jesus, the son of God, or this random sinner, a woman.

Personally my money is on the literal son of God being the mother.

🌈🌈 Catholicism🌈🌈

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

Jesus: the original mpreg fanfiction

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I dunno - in most religious art a baby in a holy context is Jesus.

Maybe he's holding his younger self in some sort of time traveler paradox? And using the power of France to protect his younger self from women as an archetype?

Like "No, stay away from this baby me, all womens. By the power of baguettes I compel thee."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If France is going to use America/Jesus’s colors they could at least pay royalties

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

They pay in statues of liberty

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I feel like they are behind on their payments.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Well I think we're due for another installment then!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

This is an exceptionally reasonable take.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Blanc et rouge

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

🚫🤢fr*nch🤮🚫

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Never been a sinner, I've never sinned, I've got a friend in Jesus So you know that when I die, He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

"Je n'ai jamais été pécheur, je n'ai jamais péché, j'ai un ami en Jésus. Alors tu sais que quand je mourrai, il m'installera avec l'esprit dans le ciel"

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attendez un moment

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Cruel and UNUSUAL

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The colours are the wrong way around. I'm sure everyone noticed but my point is I think it's almost never represented the wrong way around in France.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They're the right way from Jesus's perspective I guess.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

"From a certain point of view"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

This French origin story is better than the real one

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

French Jesus strikes again

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Let them eat bagels

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There is an expression that I read about that is a German expression that means when life is easy and good.

The book said translated it roughly means "Like God in France" because zee Germans think The French having access to France is preposterously a sign of the Germans not being loved and the God of the French was much nicer and softer just look that them: they get to live in France!

it is from the book They Thought They Were Free: The Germans 1933-45 . If i get a wild hare I'll track down the page.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

She's welcome! Jesus can go fuck himself. We banned him during the revolution already.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Imagine being a Fr*nch person 🤮

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Hon hon hon tabernac je suis français!

Pray the french away!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Je pense que j'ai merdé