Roberta Herpes
this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
251 points (93.1% liked)
Funny: Home of the Haha
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Betty Chest Infection
My grandmother's name was Mary
Last hospital visit was for a dislocated knee.
Taking some liberties I have:
Mary's Dislocation
Geraldine Granuloma
Ann Something Weird With My Foot
Constance Neutropenic Fever
Well, I suppose it could be worse.
Shirley Uveitis
Carrie broken leg
Yo I also have a broken leg!
Diana Flu Shot
Ruby Hypocalcemia. Sounds a bit pretentious.
Dorothy's STI Panel
Ethel Stabbed in the arm with a compass by a meth head
Ethel Stab-Wound sounds better.
I got stabbed in the wrist in high school with a pen. The bone stopped it. What was more frightening is where my wrist was protecting - my chest/heart.
I often wonder if Chris realised how close he came to stabbing me to death in the 90s.
He was reffered to psychiatrists and social workers when he was discovered to have a "Death List" of people he planned to kill in the school.
Mari electrocardiogram
Rachel's Sciatica.
I like it.
Idk, Fairy Depression is alright.
Katherine's Tinnitus
Anastasia's Kidney Stones.
Maybe i should go with the fancy medical term? Anastasia's Nephrolithiasis. Could work for black metal too.
Bonnie Back-Ache
We're "I have no clue's anxiety attacks" and we're elated to play for you tonight!
Wilhelmina's shingles
Betty's COVID-related pneumonia with a side of bronchitis
Yeah it really rolls right off the tongue.
Wanda Broken Leg
Joan's Hearing Voices
You people know your grandmother's first name? I genuinely don't know what it was.
Steve
Davis Strep Throat
Ella Psoriatic Arthritis.
I've never heard of that. Sounds like bone eczema. :(
Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease where the immunse system overreactes to a cellular injury, causing a snowball effect as healthy cells are destroyed and further inflame the area. That can be skin, causing plaques, or it can be cartilage or bone in the joints. It's similar to rheumatoid arthritis.