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The original was posted on /r/nostupidquestions by /u/ThrowRA_longing on 2023-10-01 19:03:48.
I work with children, but my boss doesn't normally care if you're sick, still expects you to come in. I've had to work with stomach bugs multiple times or else my job was at stake, but I am not going to be able to work tomorrow. I need to make it clear that nasty things are coming from both my bottom and my mouth and I am a few steps away from feeling like death would be an easier answer. I can't just say 'stomach bug' or that I'm sick without explaining too much. How can I get my point across without being too crass? Thank you!!