Unpopular Opinion

Keep posting through it queen, your posts and the responses they get are really fucking funny

There's nothing wrong with having flings, having casual relationships that are just about sex.

There's nothing wrong with having faithful monogamous relationships.

There's nothing wrong with being swingers, being in a polycule, being in some kind of BDSM community.

... As long as everyone involved is fully informed and in agreement that what is going on is fine.

The reason cheating is not ok is because it involves lying, either directly, or by ommission, and in the worst cases, massive gaslighting.

This makes trust very difficult, and in many cases, impossible in that relationship.

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If you cannot figure out how to clearly communicate, and adhere to, the rules of a relationship, the boundaries... you are not mature enough to be in a sexual relationship.

You either lack the communication skills, do not sufficiently understand your own personality, tendencies, behavior patterns, or are just intentionally deceptive.

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Further, your approach to relationships is entirely transactional, and basically, that is disgusting.

Not only that, but your sense of fairness in balancing out your transactional relationship model is also laughable.

... You invited your boyfriend over to a lingerie party?

I am a guy, maybe 10ish years older than you... and when I was in high school, I got invited to almost entirely girl slumber parties fairly often.

Because I was good friends with them, and they trusted me.

Saw more than one girl get pantsed down to her panties in a pillow fight. Wasn't me that did it! I was actually such a goody two shoes that I quickly looked away, covered my eyes.

My point in bringing this up is that ... even at a transactional level, its... not really much to let a guy see some other barely dressed girls.

What you describe as a 'school boy fantasy' was just a fairly normal part of my life for years, because I was just actually a good platonic friend to many girls I'd grown up with.

Porn exists. Strip clubs exist. Dance clubs exist. Bar crawls exist. College towns after finals each quarter exist.

Maybe the guy just has other female friends like me, that you just don't know about?

What would be closer to transactionally equivalent is is one of your friends agreed to actually sleep with him.

What would actually be transactionally equivalent is if that happened behind your back, and you learned about it weeks or months later.

Not you giving him permission to do that.

He didn't give you permission.

That feeling of betrayal, loss of trust, loss of being your partner's only partner... thats all part of the balance sheet.

So not only are you astoundingly superficial and transactional, not only have you proven you are untrustworthy... your concept of fairness is all out of whack as well, so your transactions can thus be assumed to all be one sided deals.

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Now I don't have any idea at all how or why you believe ... guys only have really one shot at a long term relationship with a woman?

This just isn't true at all, there are tons, tons of statistics you could cite to show that.

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You are an abusive manipulator and you should feel bad about that.

In another comment you just straight up say you gave some guy some kind of sexual favor because you are a broke drug addict.

Maybe try rehab and therapy.

And no, no most women would not set up a cockamamie scheme of trying to 'get' their boyfriend sex with other women... to ensure that their own reputation doesn't get marred with 'cheater'.

That is insane, that is you acting like a sociopath, as this makes things 'equal' in your nonsense understanding of transactions, and it just ups the ante and catastrophic potential of the entire situation because if your boyfriend does have sex with another girl, well now you can claim he cheated on you, disavow any role you played in all this, and deny your own cheating as your boyfriend lying.

What sane women, sane men, sane people would do is they'd talk it out, try to make things right, earn back that trust, try to truly change and grow into a more reliable person... or just accept that they've done too much damage and move on... or be upfront about being non monogamous for the whole relationship from the very start, so that its clear that monogamy isn't the operating paradigm.

Fake or very very weird

Taking back a cheating girlfriend could give you concessions in a relationship.

Ah yes. The key ingredient in any healthy relationship: Leverage.

You're a piece of shit.

Hey an actual unpopular opinion!

Blog post aside, I actually agree - monogamy is actually a weirdly toxic influence in relationships. Cheating isn't ok, but it's "not ok" in the same way that a ton of other transgressions which are far more commonly forgiven are also not ok. For some reason people have a particular hold up about this specific thing more than other things which are arguably way worse.

Gotta hand it to ya. That IS an unpopular opinion. Hope that relationship doesn't implode on you, but don't be surprised if it eventually does.

I'm not sure about the "one chance" thing. Who told you that? I know people who are married for the third time now. Or who had several partners over the years. That's very common. And while there is only one first love... You'll usally get many chances. Also as a perfectly average man.

I think more people should stop fucking cheating on their partners and learn how to properly communicate their dissatisfaction.

This reads like chat gpt got addicted to meth and then suffered a head injury.

Well, you succeeded in making an unpopular post.

This was typed one-handed