this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 130 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (15 children)

I thought my hand gesture was a chef's kiss for such a confluence of events. Not sure what you're on about.

[–] Theatomictruth 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wtf. This is hilarious. Why are men so insecure?

[–] GeeDubHayduke 12 points 1 month ago

I'm not insecure! YOU'RE INSECURE!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

that radical feminist groups have propagated these hidden messages to humiliate men with small penises

Why would radical feminists target men with small penises? They’re probably already naturally humiliated, right? It’s the big dick men who need to be taken down a notch.

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The prophecy has been fulfilled

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is a sign. The second cumming of Christ.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Thats it, you won the comments section.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Two balls! Wait.. what's that? Over there... It looks like a big...

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Weiner's and beans! Get yer Weiner's and beans! Holy shit kid! over there, that looks just like a...

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wang! Pay attention!

Sorry teacher, I was distracted by that giant...

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cock your head! Do you see it?!

Oh yeah, it looks like a massive...

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Rod, check this out! It looks just like a huge..

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pecker, oh that's not a woodpecker it looks like a huge ...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Johnson! Radio the admiral! This ship's about to be plowed by that enormous-

[–] GeeDubHayduke 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"COCKLES!!! OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCK-- say, am i the only one seeing this..."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Penistone is a small town in South Yorkshire, England.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Now THIS is what I want to see from this community

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The universe heard that guy complaining yesterday and said “hold my beer”

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

Even mother nature looked at our present timeline and said "Yeah...fuck it....let's see how crazy shit can get."

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You think that's big, you should see the size of it under the water.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also, this is what it looks like when it's cold.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

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[–] Initiateofthevoid 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Okay... 2023? How did I miss this? That can't be real. Is it real? Maybe this really is all a simulation. But, like, it's just a game of Sims, and the player started getting bored... It sure would explain a lot.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

At least we know whoever designed the simulation appreciates phallic humor.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Finally an article that made me believe I was reading the onion

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

THE PROPHECY!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Fake news! The entire iceberg does not look like a dick.

It’s just the tip.

😶‍🌫️

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I mean, who names a bay in Dildo county Conception Bay (or vice versa)? The iceberg is just the tip!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

phallus [...] floating in conception bay

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This happened two years ago…

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And it still hasn't melted? Checkmate, environmental lobby

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Most of my family is from very near there. I remember when this happened, it was quite the event

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's old, but... I'll allow it.

Also...

Dingdong. Willy. Johnson. One-eyed sailor. Trouser snake.

Now it's your turn.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Someone had an interesting "on this day"

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