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The original was posted on /r/nostupidquestions by /u/FredAgain27 on 2023-09-10 05:28:08.
For context, I'm not ready to get married just yet but my partner recently mentioned about how she doesn't understand why people wouldn't want to have a wedding if they have the finances. Her family does pretty well financially so money isn't an obstacle and she was half-joking about wanting to have the biggest wedding in the world. I just nodded but the truth is... I really don't want to have a wedding and it's not for financial reasons.
I have bad social anxiety, which I've never talked about with anyone because it's embarrassing for me. The idea of having a wedding with a bunch of people looking at me and expecting things from me makes me really nervous. Stuff like taking photos with everyone, having to dance with everyone watching, etc are the epitome of everything I despise doing. I hate being the center of attention and if it were up to me, I wish I could just have a private ceremony for just me and my partner. I know communication is a big part of a healthy relationship but this is something I just feel uncomfortable talking about because I'm afraid it'll come across either like 1) I'm being cheap and making a lame excuse or 2) I'm a loser who can't socialize. She's also a very extroverted person and has a ton of friends who she wants to come to the (future) wedding so I'm scared she'll look at this as a deal-breaker in the relationship.
I hope I'm not the only one with this fear of weddings lol....