this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] 95 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I mean, the monster seems pretty chill and isn't hurting anyone.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

"We are here to rule your species with little to no accountability! We will make you work for us and take a percentage of your money for our use and you will have no say! Sleep, work, and barely eat is all you will have time for under our rule!"

"Yeah we got those on this planet already. We call them politicians."

"Well ... then we are going to strip your planet of all of its minerals and water and take all living organisms for granted and steal your plants and other resources we want!"

"Buddy, you're not gonna fucking believe this ..."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Alien: Greetings, human. I am Zorkon of the Galaxotron Empire. We have come to conquer your planet and enslave humanity. Bow before our superior might!

Human: [laughs] Oh, Zorkon, you crack me up! Conquer us? Enslave us? Ha! That’s a good one.

Alien: I don’t understand. Why are you laughing? This is a serious invasion!

Human: Oh, I get it. But really, your timing couldn’t be worse. We’re already dealing with wildfires, melting ice caps, never-ending politics, and—have you seen our to-do lists? They’re terrifying!

Alien: But we have advanced technology! We will strip your planet of its natural resources!

Human: Strip our planet of natural resources? Newsflash, we’ve been doing that ourselves. Timber, oil, coal—you name it!

Alien: We will poison your water and pollute your air!

Human: Poison our water? Pollute our air? Ever heard of industrial waste and smog? We've got that covered, thanks.

Alien: We will make you work until you are old and frail!

Human: Make us work till we’re old? We call that ‘retirement age’ around here. By then, we're barely standing anyway.

Alien: Our rule will be harsh! You will live in fear and despair!

Human: Fear and despair? Welcome to the 21st century, Zorkon. We’ve been binge-watching those since 2016. Honestly, if you’re here to conquer, you might want to bring a sense of humor. You’re gonna need it!

Alien: [confused] Perhaps we should have researched this planet a bit more...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yunz both oughta read Childhood's End.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Clearly this guy has successfully walked past the ~~monster~~ ~~creature~~ friend 20 days in a row without issue. Give it a few weeks and I bet they'll be grillin together

[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Monster needs a shitty orange toupee.

Maybe that's a bit too in the nose.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

actually ☝️🤓 the toupee is blond. the skin is orange

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I guess you're right it is. I might confuse it for Conan if it was orange.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 5 months ago

Can't help yourself, can you?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago

And thus the Overton window was shifted.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Jokes like these leave me with a sour taste because this is what you‘d do if you wanted to manipulate people onto complacency. Good to read that folks dont like the idea.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

This is what they want.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Had a similar reaction to a giant Alaskan Malamute that used to sit in the forecourt of a house on my daily walk.