EPA is investigating us for air pollution (excessive farting)
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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askchapo
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unrepentant
I fear only two is government institutions. Treasury, and the Postal Inspectors.
the Postal Inspectors
It's this, because someone posted a link to Stealing People's Mail by the Dead Kennedys
DOGE
They are trying to recruit us as consultants because we have the best plans to make the government more efficient, by abolishing it 
This one, because it means that the confirmed paedophiles are trying to find our children
FDA preparing their crackdown on beanis posting.
It's only the FDA if they're already canned, dried but not processed beanis fall under the USDA's purview.
Department of Energy because our servers are based out of the Chernoblyat exclusion zone
Unironically the DoE has some of the craziest, most violent armed guards of all gvmnt agencies, I wouldn't want to be in their sights at all.
they're the nuke department and stuff that gives you supercancer just by existing near it, it's a rare case where I'm like "ok yeah I kinda get it"
I'm not saying it's unjustified, but their guards are some of the most operator-ass motherfuckers whose rules of engagement boil down to "get near the nuke, I'll shoot you dead 5 different ways".
Probably keep those same dudes on after the revolution tbh
The USDA because of our excessively dirty owls.
FEMA 
OSHA because I work in sandals sometimes and they are building a case against me, I'm probably screwed.
space force
spoiler
hexbear started by aliums
So the FCC won't let me be. Or let me be me, so let me see · They tried to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty without me
The BEA 
Bean Enforcement Administration
The ESRB because we have underage gamers playing teen-rated games.
The IRS. Idk what financial trouble they'll get us into, but if they do, they'll prolly get us, like with Capone.
Department of Education. Someone forgot the "re".
DOE
that's not my unlicensed nuclear reactor. I'm holding it for a friend.
Found Justin Roczniak's HB account.
NOAA. the friction created by so much posting is confounding model development of the global climate system.
USDA OIG investigates leaks of beanis high technology
CSIS!
(You said federal, you didn't say which country)
If the FBI2 had a file on us it would be Joever
Coastal guard
The Department of Agriculture is upset about our treatment of hogs
On this site it's definitely animal control related.
CITIZENS STAY WHERE YOU ARE AND DONT MOVE THERE ARE REPORTS OF UNLICENSED KEEPING OF UNREGISTERED OWLS IN THIS VICINITY. COMPLY WITH ALL COMMANDS WHILE WE ELIMINATE THIS AVIAN THREAT AND BRING THE PERPETRATORS TO JUSTICE.
USAMRIID, and therefore the DoD, doesn't appreciate our Imgur link
I have word that the Office of the Federal Coordinator for Meteorology is beefing with us