chapotraphouse

So many agroecological community gardens, so many communal kitchens, bread ovens, and collective food system infrastructure. All food is now grown in agroforestry systems where the farms are also biodiverse refuges for fauna and flora. I would be the single-minded food dude, like but for mindful food production.

Also, everyone learns (from other people) to forage local herbs and mushrooms.

Maglev network featuring a 100 mile long vactrain built into a mountain range that yeets a rocket into space (and eventually a space station that can refuel/launch the vac trains to a lunar station. That is correct, you will be able to take a train from Mumbai to the moon.)

The iranrood of course. But with fresh water. This involves removing an unimaginable amount of salt from the salt flats in the iranian plateau. So i gess we will turn that salt into plastic?

I would be like Hoxha but build earthships everywhere instead of bunkers.

Antarctica colony. Big ass bronze statue staring out over the ocean north like the Colossus of Rhodes

I would put arcades in the public libraries and by extension nationalize professional

Yes id still do the rail/green energy/mass housing megaprojects, but those arent crank enough

I'd make all detached single-family homes near an urban center illegal and start replacing them all with a combination of low-rise attached units for families, and apartment complexes for people without kids (notionally, I'm fine with some intermixing). Make sure that there are services and amenities within walking distance of all newly-densified housing, and run bus service and light rail everywhere. Then I'd ban private vehicles anywhere within view of a skyscraper. You will live in a pleasant, walkable community with greenspace and accessible services, or you will be sent to the reeducation camps.

Also, big bronze statue in a park. Big enough to provide ample shade to park goers in the summer.

In addition to massive expansion of the north and south American rail systems my megaproject would be a rail link across the Bering Strait to connect AfroEurasia to North and South America. My dream is being able to travel from Cape Horn to Cape Town almost entirely by rail

Thinking of actual crank projects. Mine is probably nuclear powered ships. Decarbonize the oceans!

I'm so into it that I made a video about it

I'd want to breed sapience into cows and have them join us in society.

Massive radio telescopes built into the far side of the Moon.

Mine would just be an effort to roll back the holocene extinction as much as can be done, which includes environmental reconstruction, resurrection of extinct species, and careful reintegration of collapsed ecosystems. That and rebuilding the six grandfathers over top of mt rushmore.

Every multiplayer pvp game will be mandated to have an unskipabble 10 minute gay kiss/sex scene on startup.

I'd pour massive amounts of money into arguably crank Bazinga ideas like Life Extension and proper Nanotech. I'd ban all cars and replace with public transport. Thorium power plants in every house! SPAAAAAAAACCCEEEE!

I'd make massive urban farming and gardening projects regardless of economic viability.

I also have Gaddafi-grade western fashion revival ideas. You will have to dress up for all evening events and no a Tuxedo is not gonna cut it. if you want a vision of the future it's an 1700s dance slipper brushing a human face lightly, forever.

I am also for the French Revolutionary calendar. Happy Basil Day!

• An eco-corps jobs program tasked with removal of invasive species and restoration of degraded habitats.
• The best elements of scouting would be folded into the education system and become the core of its new outdoor skills portion. Everyone would learn how to safely & responsibly conduct themselves while enjoying the outdoors.

i would:

• massively increase the building code standards and provide government-sponsored training for tradespeople to understand and implement them
  there are houses getting built today with foil-faced cardboard sheathing. stick framing and engineered wood are defensible but cardboard sheathing is deranged
• seize unused farmland from big landlords and build solar/wind energy; coupled with nuclear as baseload power plants and large-scale energy storage we could easily replace all fossil fuel power
• on that track, NATIONALIZE THE FUCKING GRID and force Texas to join the rest of the country
• nationalize all utilities (water, internet, etc). fuck AT&T, bring back Ma Bell but this time it's owned by the government

I guess I would go huge in on wetlands revitalization in order to have more cute frogs to look at. I would also hire a team of experts to come up with justifications as to why our society required me having a real life Gundam.

Two words: Climate Stalin.

The entire economy will be mobilized to solving the climate crisis, to the point where even finding a job will be a total non-issue. The pigs that are polluting nature to death will pay for all this with every penny they got, they have stolen more value than they can ever stuff down their throats. Oil oligarchs and media talking heads will all be tried at the Hague for crimes against humanity. Many useless treats are going to be banned, and yes, we're coming for your Funko Pops, white boy.

One very important detail and job would be hiring a bunch of artists, architects, designers, etc. I want to ensure that my regime looks aesthetic yet villainous, so whether or not I fail as Climate Stalin, 13 year old boys in the future will look to me and not Prince Nick Fuentes II as the badass supervillain to idolize, and eventually support. Also, the people deserve a much more beautiful world than the one I had to endure.

Oh wait, idiots like Nick Fuentes would be seen as scum because I did a cultural revolution where I beat in that delinquency isn't cool.

I'd put serious resources in to atmospheric carbon scrubbers. But not for any useful or sane purpose. Instead I'd use the carbon to build a 500km tall optically perfect diamond prism in the north atlantic that almost turns England in to a glowing puddle every day, but just misses them. To keep them in line.

All golfers must continue to golf, they may not leave the course, they may not stop golfing...

While they're occupied, we finally achieve faster than light interstellar travel. After we all take to the stars, whatever golfers remain shall inherit what is left of the earth.

a massive cloning facility for bees

After I've done the full maglev rail network, the tallest structure on Earth. And then a slide coming off the top floor.

My crank project isn't even a crank project: bringing back a great freight rail network with carload service (dropping off boxcars directly next to factories) would be immensely beneficial for cutting emissions. Night trains, bringing up the system to a state of good repair, increased speeds, increased frequency, I'm basically just adding on to your already great plan.

• Mandatory enforced veganism
• Billionaire gladiatorial fights
• Ban smoking (vapes will be allowed for a 5 year transitional period)

I guess it depends on the scale of regime I'd have. Once all the normal stuff happens and people have housing, good jobs, transit, food, healthcare, literacy, half the earth rewilded, and everything else, I'd go buckwild.

We're gonna set up Mars for terraforming. Put a big fuckoff magnet at L1, and put a particle accelerator on Phobos to create a torus of plasma along its orbit, do 'em both, we need a backup because this shit has to last a billion years. Smack it with some ammonia-rich asteroids, shotgun the surface with extremophile lichens and bacteria, build some ecopoiesis domes. Just let it go wild. Not a colonization attempt, just create a trickle of progress and let it slowly improve over time and go wild til we're actually ready to do something with it.

We're going to learn everything we can and we'll save all of our knowledge. We will learn everything we can, uncover old mysteries, and explore. The only limiting factor for sciences should be people-hours. And we're going to make backups. Off-site ones too, maybe even off-world. We should never forget anything ever again.

We're going to preserve languages and learn a universal second language. Teach everyone Esperanto or something, but make sure that people's native languages are preserved and retained. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis may be bullshit, but I think there's a lot of cultural value in preserving languages. It'd be great for everyone to be able to communicate together, but it's important that we're not losing things along the way to that goal.