this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

That's almost literally a "leopards ate my face" case.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The average chucklefuck has absolutely no fucking idea how powerful monkeys are. Humans are like the weakest of all primates (power to weight/mass ratio). A small 30kg macaque can literally rip your face off. Don't treat them like pets because those fuckers can scalp your weak dumb ass in a single scratch. I seent it. I seent it happen to some indian peasant on the youtubers. Dude was minding his own business and the fucking monkey turned his scalp into a skin flap. Don't end up like skin flap guy.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Case in point, this picture of a hairless chimpanzee showing you how ripped these animals are.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've been there and a monkey bit me. No one said it was a monkey attack beach, you get taken there by a tour guide and they just tell you it's somewhere to see and feed monkeys. I'm from Australia, I had no idea monkeys are arseholes who get violent when you stop giving them food.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

I love the concept of someone from Australia, notorious for its insanely dangerous wildlife, going to Thailand and being taken aback that the wildlife are assholes.

Not saying it's not a legitimate point - you might be used to animals being dangerous, but you don't expect them to behave like jerks. I just find the contrast amusing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Monkeys beat my ass

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Reminds me of that old Mr Wheebl skit "Possum attack"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

the family going to the beach and seeing the warning signs

https://youtu.be/yxyHW2IDryE