Welcome to c/WouldYouRather, where we present you with the toughest, most ridiculous choices you never knew you had to make! Would you rather have a third arm that's only useful for picking your nose, or be able to talk to animals but only if they're wearing hats? Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. Come for the absurdity, stay because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your life.
Rules:
I'll take the dicks. I will whip off my shirt and unleash a devastating torrent of piss if threatened.
Your shirts won't fit well. And imagine recling against anything and your back balls hurt. Chairs are impossible!
Tight fitting undershirts should keep them in check. Block of foam, cut a hole down the spine for chairs.
Are you shaving your back balls or not? This seems like an important question.
Also are you a back sleeper or a side sleeper. If you're a back sleeper there's issue again
Woah. There was no mention of testicles above. That's a game changer.
Is there a set for each penis? Or one sack to rule them all?
The only thing worse than itchy balls, are itchy balls in the spot you just can't reach.
Each dick has an assigned sack. Maybe we could then have an extra sack to rule them all but that feels unnecessary
Think I'd opt for laser hair removal. Much easier.
Back sleeper, but I'd just get a California king cuddle mattress and turn it sideways.
Are they... fully functional? Urinating as a stegopenus would be messy but bleeding from my face monthly would be worse. The risk of getting pregnant and having my brain displaced by a growing fetus sounds horrifying. So if they're wired up to the related anatomy I'll go with dick. If it's just the singular organ I'll go with vagina and get really into head coverings
Each stegopenis can pee (and cum) individually, not necessarily altogether.
Even if you get face fucked and pregnant, it would be a normal pregnancy not a brainchild.
Since you are answering questions, would each penis function for defensive posturing? You know, like a cats fur and tail when it screeches...
Many get erections when nervous or anxious. I'll allow that
Wait, how would the baby come out then?
In one way, out the other.
Just like food.
One makes you "fuck face", the other makes you stegodickonbackasaurus. I know my vote.
Broke: sucking your own dick
Woke: fucking your own forehead
Mmm, brain-crushing orgasms.
Incredible edging opportunities. Imagine edging like 12 back dicks at one time
I’ve always thought it would be cool to be a stegosaurus, so definitely the stego.
Random erection and suddenly your shirt is choking you
Such a difficult choice..
Why not both?
Opening the third eye on your forehead while the back gets erections would look like a superhero power up.
Everyday life would be hard if you had anything lewd growing out of your face. I do wonder what it's like to have a vulva, though.
Turban like professor quirrel
Oh no, don't give the fanfic writers any ideas.
The latter are probably easier to have removed surgically. (No fun, I know)
Donate them to trans men! Everyone wins!