this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

So we've confirmed that there were only 270 kilos of drugs on the premises?

[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Correct, we discovered 249 kilos of drugs in our search.

[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hey boss I just admitted 211 kilos of evidence, can you sign off on it?

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Gotcha. 2... hundred.. kilos. There you go, signed.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This court finds you guilty of smuggling 150 kilos of drugs.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Recourse, only 100 kilograms were presented so the sentence must be lowered

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 years ago (2 children)

We found a dead bear in the evidence room. Seems the bear must have eaten all 100 kilos, so we're gonna close the case.

[–] Diabolo96 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

This bear meat is the best meat i ever had. What's the seasoning ?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

It's seasoned with coffee, which gives it that energizing and uplifting effect.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Bear salt, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We have sources that indicate the bear was yours. You’re sentenced to getting us 300kg of cocaine

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

wipes white powder from my nose...

"Excuse me..."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This chain is exactly why I joined Reddit and I'm so glad Lemmy got you guys.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I swear, I saw a video on this…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Hey... I think you owe me 5 kilos of drugs!

[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Hey where did our tent go?"

Me burping while stroking my extremely tent shaped belly

"No idea."

[–] moosetwin 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I swear this is a Shel Silverstein poem…

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

It's that they need a certain amount for testing reasons.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

Gotta make sure it smells right.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

For Science!!!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Rai 7 points 2 years ago

Gawd I fucking love Crackermilk. They’ve finally gone from “criminally underrated” to “rated”! I can’t believe the production quality and frequency of their lil’ joke posts. We added them to our Patreonings and it’s all a bunch of behinds-the-scenes and unused takes. Love it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I mean, I get the joke, but there’s no real reason there’ll be exactly 300 kilos is there?