this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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the_dunk_tank
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It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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- Having chosen this course of action, Plaintiff resolved to personally suffer the consequences of any harm that would come his way, and that if he were somehow prevented from completing his legal education, as Defendants would eventually unsuccessfully attempt as described in 23-25 infra, he would join the bar without a law degree after office study pursuant to Rule 520.4 of the Court of Appeals of New York. At this time, Plaintiff believed, as a matter of personal faith, that events would transpire beyond his control, that the execution of the threats already made against him would lead him to his destiny, that it would be a good destiny if he remained fearless and maintained faith, and that through the adversity which was in store for him he would obtain a clearer understanding of the truth of life and this world.
Professor Epstein told Plaintiff that he has sufficient talent and intellectual breadth to one day serve as a strong federal appellate judge if he would be willing to suffer a significant decrease in income and the abusive confirmation process. Plaintiff responded that he was not particularly materialistic so as to be concerned with the predicted sacrifice of income and was already used to extraordinary public abuse at law school. Plaintiff then lamented to Professor Epstein, that on account of the time of his birth, he could not have the opportunity to be publicly attacked and moralized to on the subject of women‟s rights by a drunk who drowned a woman by driving his car off a bridge and continued his next day as if nothing happened and integrity by “Senator Joe „10% for the Big Guy‟ Bribem”, as Justice Thomas was in October, 1991. Professor Epstein assured Plaintiff that his generation and the generation immediately preceding it would also produce miscreant politicians capable of creating similar irony.
edit 3: Here's the complaint on Google Drive, courtesy of Law Twitter, for anyone who wants to see it in all its glory
Twitter thread I got it from which includes the poster
/r/LawSchool thread dunking on him
Archived reddit thread mentioned in the complaint
- Plaintiff had first encountered the lectures and works of Professor Epstein in the field of law and economics on or about May, 2009 due to his childhood interest in economics. These lectures and works encouraged in Plaintiff an interest in law generally, the American system of government, Roman law and the common law of the 18th to late 19th centuries. It was at this time that Plaintiff set the personal goal of gaining admission to the University of Chicago Law School where Professor Epstein was tenured at the time. From that time until the present, Plaintiff has revered Professor Epstein above all other living academics or intellectuals due to his brilliant mind, extraordinary intellectual breadth, consistent commitment to first principles, comprehensive legal theory and kindness.
btw, the views of said Professor Epstein:
At the height of the HIV pandemic in 1988, Epstein argued that companies ought to be able to discriminate against "AIDS carriers" and that anti-discrimination laws were unfair to employers.
Drawing on Gary Becker, he argues that the Civil Rights Act and other anti-discrimination legislation ought to be repealed.
In 2007, he defended the intellectual property rights of pharmaceutical companies against the cheaper, generic production of AIDS drugs, writing that "disregarding property rights in the name of human rights reduces human welfare around the globe".
In 2014, Epstein argued against reparations for African Americans in a piece published on the Hoover Institution's website.
In March and April 2020, Epstein wrote several essays published by the Hoover Institution giving a contrarian account of the COVID-19 pandemic and warning against extensive containment and mitigative United States responses to the COVID-19 pandemic, which he called an "overreaction".[21] In a piece published on March 16, he argued that the word "pandemic" is not to be used lightly and that the virus should be allowed to run its course, predicting there would be 500 U.S. deaths.
very cool and "kind" person to idolize
edit:
- [...] Perhaps as a planned consolation, Professor Epstein then continued to inform Plaintiff that although his vision statement for the Bradley Fellowship was the best he had ever read, had the piercing insight and sweeping intellectual breadth that exemplifies the Plaintiff's abilities and was more than what 'could be expected even from a junior member of a faculty on tenure track at a good law school
This dude might as well have included a picture of himself jerking off 
~~Do you know if PACER documents have any kind of digital watermark? I wanna upload it so people can read it for themselves but I'm not trying to doxx myself~~ resolved (see top of comment). Also thanks to that /r/LawSchool thread I learned about RECAP which is a free database of PACER documents people have uploaded
edit 2: holy fuck he just keeps going
- After waiting for and encouraging any showing to the contrary by Professor Epstein for approximately one month, Plaintiff became forced to accept that he had been betrayed and kicked while already down by someone he had revered for so long and who had been such a profound teacher, causing immense emotional distress far in excess of the broad effects of the other wrongs committed against Plaintiff by Defendants. On or about September 28th 2022, Plaintiff raised the issue with Professor Epstein in his office at the New York University School of Law and it became clear to Plaintiff that Professor Epstein would not admit to any wrongdoing or mistake in this matter. Plaintiff then told Professor Epstein that even if he will teach for many years to come he will not have another student like the Plaintiff, that because of his moral failure he does not deserve to have Plaintiff as a student, and that he betrayed his most devoted and innocent student to protect the image of his own legacy in a manner that would probably backfire.
The only word I can think to describe this person is "Normal". Dude is hitting the extremes of normalcy.