Attempting to win at poker with a collection of rocks, glass and, cards I have doodled on.

Dispensing Freedom.

Having six throwing stars and a shitload of buffs... as a potato

I may have harvested my beets a little late.

Democracy (it was helldivers)

Having eleven kings in one poker hand.

Public inebriation, disturbing the peace

(Rock and Stone ⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️)

Abandoning my post in defense of Super Earth. I am sorry, Democracy.

Unauthorized orbital rocket launches.

Tax Fraud.

Unlicensed space travel

Possession of psychite with intention to distribute

and like, at least 3 or 4 warcrimes, but whose counting

Loving Managed Democracy too hard

I didn't get arrested, because I suffer from a knee injury and my adventures have ended

Climbing a mountain but dying too much along the way. Like a little too much.

Capturing and enslaving weird magic animals

Supporting democracy!

Rotting in a Shinra prison for bombing a Mako reactor. In my defense, the new explosion graphics were great.

Falcon punching Pikachu.

Stealing villager's beds.

I guess I'll be getting arrested for helping people build a village.

Murdering tens of thousands of natives in North America to build plantations to make money to build factories in England.

I think this is the kind of violence history books often frame as the "unfortunate side of progress", so I guess it's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Failing to properly evacuate the city during a Tsunami because its easier just to clean up afterwards (Cities Skylines).

Forcing thousands of grandmother's into endless work. Destroying ecosystems. Ravaging planets. Ending light itself. Enslaving Gods. And eliminating every parallel world in existence. All to make cookies. More and more. On and on and on. Universes of cookies more numerous than atoms in the cosmos.

But I'm almost done.

Disregarding all Osha violations, colonizing a planet and killing all natural life.

damm I love factorio

Forcing a dragon to fuck a bear?

Genocide

Been playing Dorfromantik so building quaint, idyllic villages with expansive forests and streams.

Gambling fraud. I keep playing 5 of a kind Flush in Balanto and it keeps working!

Elden Ring... soo.. lots of murder

Driving a giant tractor with a trailer full of soybeans the wrong way around a roundabout to deliver the soybeans to the grocery store.

Throwing a stick of dynamite into the middle of a kkk meeting outside of Rhodes. Sorry, not sorry.

Using obscene amounts of violence to protect freedom and democracy across the galaxy.

PC: Politely asking for and engaging in street fights with random strangers.

Mobile: Baking cookies

Web: Making paperclips

MarioKart so hit and run or throwing things at other cars

Being too homosexual.

FFXIV

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

Idk...Being a good lawyer? I was just playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

War crimes.

Being an ex yakuza