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On “Male Socialization” and the “Trans Masc Versus Trans Fem” Discourse™
(juliaserano.medium.com)
this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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Look, i get what you're trying to say and i'm sorry for being standoffish. Just to put this in perspective and understand why i'm coming off like that recently, most of the last weeks have been rough for me, i had to deal with a covid infection that ruined a lot of plans i had, i felt super isolated and depressed because i could not meet up with my gal pal and my support network due to being ill, i've had trouble with my employment situation and my landlord, so all in all i was just in a really foul mood and honestly i've been kind of mean online because of that. That's not to say this makes it ok to engage in a discussion in the way i often do atm, but i hope this takes some of the weight out of my post and makes it seem less like me coming after you personally. Honestly, that goes for a lot of what i've been posting recently.
Anyway, my main point is this: You shouldn't have to worry about saying inappropriate things just by engaging with Serrano's text. If you think she's making mistakes in regards to Skinner's work, you're free to point them out and give your own perspective on how he viewed human socialization, that may add something to the discussion. I don't think she has a problem with Skinner per se, i don't think she was trying to say that he was being transphobic in his work or whatever, i think she just used a household name like his as a jumping off point to say that we've largely moved away from earlier "blank slate" models of socialization. And if you think that it misrepresents Skinners work to frame it like that, it would give some perspective if you elaborate on that if you feel like it.
If not, i don't mind if we just agree that we met each other on a wrong foot and disengage here, that's really up to you.
Thanks for the response. I'm sorry you had a rough week, I'd think it would make having to engage with someone who was ignorant and made the errors I made even more unpleasant. I don't care if I didn't know or couldn't know.
If I couldn't know I still think I can act in a way that doesn't misgender or otherwise be vague and antagonistic. And if I can't do that I'd really rather just not say anything if I can. I don't think what I said has any value anymore.
I mean I learned from it and I don't know what it meant to other people. Other people did let me know how what I did was wrong and can be easily avoided. From what others said though, which is what I use because I genuinely don't know how they feel or think, what I wrote wasn't helpful and the comment did not need to be made which I, like right now not before, also think was inappropriate and unnecessary.
Thanks again for your response, sharing a bit about yourself, and being willing to try again. I don't have anything else to say besides thanks. Honestly I'm now afraid of saying anything or like giving details of what I alluded to in my initial and rightly removed comment.
I'm so afraid that I'll say something to hurt people who are among the last I'd like to hurt. I'm obviously a bit afraid of something hurtful being said to me, I can't say I can take it, only that I've suffered enough to feel comfortable that's something I am able to experience. What is more suffering really? If I welcome it, nothing changes. If I do my best to get rid of it, it gets worse. It doesn't make sense to me and I can't figure it out. Or at least I haven't been able to for at least more than some 18 odd years.
I did not know who Julia was, I read several popular pieces by her. Didn't engage with her books, but skimmed her PhD thesis at University of Kansas (which deadnames her). It was the kind of work that wouldn't be appreciated I think by those outside the field (biology is my subject of choice and background) and is not glamorous, but it is of the kind of work that enables others to get the flashy stuff done. It's the in-between 'plumbing' that people might look down on, but use all the same. There's good respect there, it's the equivalent of public service for 'omic work in the model organism which was her target.
I did my homework, I'm still trying to learn, it's only; I don't want to keep hurting people while I'm doing it.
Sorry for the essay. I do hope I can engage positively with you in the future. You seem to be considerate and thoughtful.
Oh I also wanted to add that it was really validating when you said you got what I was trying to say. I appreciate it and your apology (which I don't find necessary and will accept as I concede you have a better idea of what you are apologizing for) and want to say it made my good day which became bad near the end decent. Yeah, not good, still better than before.