Saskatchewan

Never be concerned with jumping in. I assume that the reason we do this in public is to get as much diversity of opinion as possible. If anyone wants to keep discussions private, this is the wrong place. :)

You have expressed my own feelings and opinions better than I have. The only thing you've missed is that, as much as I want my child to feel free and safe in discussing literally anything with me, what I want more is that they have access to trained professionals for the tough and important stuff (for everything, not just this; that's why they take swimming, driving, and math lessons from accredited experts, not me).

The only reason I attach importance to the difference between starting with me vs someone else is that I would feel that I've somehow failed if they started the process of finding professional assistance with someone other than me. That, of course, is a me thing, not a them thing or a system thing.

The objective, in my view, is to make sure that my child has all the expert help, support, and advice they need for themselves and that I require to ensure I'm not an obstacle to their growth and that we both require in order to maintain a healthy relationship. If, in the end, that means starting off by keeping secrets from me, so be it.

And then, as seems to be natural for people, I layer that thinking onto a system with the assumption that everyone should think that way...