gondaily

Recently, I made a post on [email protected]. Frankly, the details of it are irrelevant, IMO, but the gist of it was that I was asking a question that I didn't know how to ask very well. So, I decided to pose a hypothetical!

HOW SMART OF ME TO DO THAT, RIGHT?!

Right! I mean, hypotheticals allow us to look at the problem from an outside perspective, without being clouded by our own personal feelings on the subjects of the questions, instead, looking at it more objectively. How gleeful am I, to live in a world in which we can use our imagination to imagine different worlds!

In truth, the hypothetical wasn't very good. Fine, I admit it! As I said, I didn't know how to ask the question, and so it was asked poorly.

However, I can't help but think that, truly, people just don't read. Or maybe they can't parse text. Or maybe they refuse to do so, on principle; based, perhaps, on some misplaced desire to curb my peering into their souls (asking what they think).

I don't know. It's in my nature to not blame them. When I see people - especially a lot of people - misunderstand my intentions and goals, I decide that it is my fault. Really, it must be my fault, because the goal is communication, and I clearly didn't communicate properly. Had I, they would've understood! That's what good communication is, that's how you measure it. You speak to an audience, not to yourself - whether you think you did good is irrelevant, only the result matters. If screaming in their faces gets the point across best, then that is the best way to communicate the point. That's my take on it, at least.

So, I can't blame them. However, I can hate them.

If other people can't understand me, even when I try to hard, when I write everything that I think needs to be written and don't write anything that I think might be confusing, when I highlight words of particular importance and clearly separate sentences out to avoid them being lost in long paragraphs.. When I try so hard, and still fail to have people understand me - though it is my fault - I can't help but feel helpless and dejected. I can't help but loathe other people.

What's the point of talking to others, if I can't make myself understood?

This has become a very frustrating situation for me. It's not even like we're speaking different languages, it's like we live on different dimensions, where the world functions differently.

I like to respond to every comment I get. For one, I feel good participating in the Fediverse, but also I just value other people's time and opinions. I like when people share some of them with me, so I like to respond in kind. However, I had to just ignore the comments. My heart can't take it. I learned the meaning of heartbreak - it does hurt, in your heart, like it's breaking. It's a very literal expression, turns out! That's a positive outcome of this debacle.

"I saw a squirrel in a tree, once. Also, the sky is blue, right?"

"Trees aren't blue."

Is this my life? Am I cursed or something? What witch did I upset? FESS UP! I'll make it up to you, I swear...

In other news, food was great today! Chocolate milk and an apple for breakfast - the GOAT - and then some rice with beans and grilled tuna for lunch. Delectable, extremely so. Very, very tasty. Unfortunately, I have no more beans or grilled tuna... Tomorrow, I'll have to make do with something else. That's fine, of course, but it's a little sad that I won't be able to have the same thing two days in a row, especially considering how tasty it was. Oh well.

I picked Fool Moon (Dresden Files) back up. It's... Not very good, frankly. I'm not hating it, but it's not really gripping me at all. Not sure what about it is lacking, but it is lacking. The format isn't helping, but that's the fault of the ebook I picked up.

I wore shorts today, but I've already set aside a polo and a tank top to wear on Friday with some jeans. I'm excited to wear them.