this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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As someone who has a giant soft spot in her heart for Duke, what story is there to tell?
Duke Nukem is a simple man. He's here to fuck up alien bastards(for taking the babes, crashing his ride, generally existing), save attractive women, and maybe remember to pick up that pack of gum on his way home.
He's not really even a "character", he's a walking embodiment of 80s and 90s machismo with big guns and less plot than the typical comic book of the time. He's a machine built for one-liners. He's a never-ending thoughtless action flick you love because it takes so little actual thought to enjoy.
My ideal Duke nukem plot would basically just be some hypermasculine caricature that starts a normal day and is faced with increasingly insane excuses for ultraviolence at which he performs exceedingly well.
He's not scared, He's not bored, He's not brooding, He's having a fucking day, and he's all out of bubble gum.
Despite the ever-increasing Gore and violence he never has to say or do anything problematic, just fucking brutally uncompromisingly violence against people that super duper obviously need it.
Comical masculinity instead of toxic masculinity. Nothing even needs to change about his character.