Brisbane

I actually bought chapstick the other day... This dry weather is making my beautiful lips go from all pouty and supple to the equivalent of planks of 2x4 strapped to a buffalo or something. Especially at night... I wake up smacking my dry old chops in the middle of the night with this dry weather. A little sloppy goo on the kisser seemed like the right way to fix that.

Used my pal Amazon to get some Burts Bees or some bloody thing which I swear I read was Australian... When it arrived its made in the US! And had the weight measured in ozzes, gross. Maybe I got some lysdexia and mixed up AUS->USA... I think I got stung (pune) because Burts Bees has a .com.au domain, but if you read the blurb on the about page its all about some bloke named Burt (funnily enough) wandering around the US and eating cheeseburgers + harvesting bees and long story short beeswax -> lips -> chapstick.

I'll probably end up with lip cancer or something because everything in the US is basically made to be as destructive to the environment and as terrible as possible for you in the pursuit of profit, but it does come with this nice disclaimer: All our products are over 95% natural origin, without phthalates, parabens, petrolatum, or sodium lauryl sulfate .... which I guess is good? I never new phtatlataksjbens were even something I needed to look out for.