chat

that blows to go through in the moment. waiting on someone who doesn't come, I mean. as I've gotten older and have many Stood Up experiences under my belt (humblebrag), I now generally give people the benefit of the doubt and assume there is a reasonable explanation which will not be served by catastrophizing or letting my anxiety spin up some scenario. another thing I've learned to do is occupy and enjoy myself spontaneously in pretty much any context, rather than refrain from an activity or socializing until an invited person arrives. it makes life more enjoyable and eased any pressure on late arrivals who feel bad about circumstances beyond their control.

but I also kinda don't really try to make concrete plans with people who flake an unreasonable amount of times either, just because it doesn't work for me to hold space in my social calendar for someone if they can't summon the ability to reciprocate. like no hard feelings, but also I tend to gel more with people who are similar to me in the context of being on top of their shit.

some of my instant favorite people are the ones where some big group social activity is planned and theres always that like ~10% who arrive in the pre-determined space right as the clock ticks the time, or the ones who have been quietly laying in the cut with a good vantage for 5-10 minutes. my hypervigilant, militant freaks. my people.