Tom Swifty Jokes

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A place to share and appreciate Tom Swifty jokes.

Rules:

  1. No bigotry allowed.

  2. Put the whole joke in the title.

  3. If posting a joke taken from elsewhere, cite the source and trim links of any metadata.

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1
"It looks like you, and it does everything you do, and yet it isn't you", Tom said on reflection. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"Tom got here after the other two", Tom said in third-person. (midwest.social)
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"It's fair in this specific context", Tom said just in case. (midwest.social)
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"Well, Pumbaa, you should know that I've already bested your little friend at Battleship", Tom said sanctimoniously. (midwest.social)
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"Large semi-aquatic herbivores are vital to the health of the ecosystem", Tom said hypocritically. (midwest.social)
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"I might not have kids, but I can still self-identify as a father", Tom said transparently. (midwest.social)
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"This whole dissertation is a load of crap", Tom said in abstract. (midwest.social)
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"Veronica is much too formal," she said with irony. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC

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"That AA Milne adaptation was crap," Tom pooh-poohed. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

10
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"Other guys never want to hang out with me," mentioned Tom. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

11
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"For your insolence in disrespecting me, I shall become a scourge upon your kingdom", Ishtar said urbanely. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"Don't call me Francis," he said, being frank. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC

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"I come to pay respects to mighty Genghis", Tom contributed (midwest.social)
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"I have committed no crime", Tom pled in a sense. (midwest.social)
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"I'll force that little demon to do something", Tom said, making an impact. (midwest.social)
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"Listen Robo-Jack, you need to work on your punctuality!", Tom ejaculated (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"Vegetarian dishes only", Tom metes out. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"Remember to change it up every seven days", Tom said very weakly. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"I named my aircraft in honour of the god of the Sun", Tom said apologetically (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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20
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"According to my cat, it's dinnertime," said Tom purposefully. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC

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"The whole company was found guilty of criminal activity", Tom said with firm conviction. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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"What are your plans for this roast chicken?" said Tom, trying to keep abreast. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

23
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"I take joy in the triumphs of my parishioners," said Tom vicariously. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

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"Even though we 'broke up', she's still my woman!" Tom exclaimed. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

25
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"Oh, I eat everything," said Tom in jest. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

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