Today I Fucked Up

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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up.

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26
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/perez_zinat on 2025-06-16 08:11:24+00:00.


This happened last weekend on a girls’ trip with three of my friends and I just can’t get past it. We had booked two hotel rooms and at some point, three of us were together in one while the fourth in the other. She said she’d join us later, so when we heard a knock on the door, we naturally assumed it was her.

In my infinite wisdom (and zero clothes), I strutted to the door stark naked and swung it open like I was in a shampoo commercial. And no, It wasn’t my friend but a poor, unsuspecting hotel attendant who had come to politely ask us to pipe down.

His soul seemed to have left his body and his face went red. He hurriedly stuttered something about noise, and basically moonwalked out of there without making eye contact.

I was also flushed with embarrassment after he’d left, an and my friends laughed over it for a while. I still can’t look at room service the same.

TL;DR: TIFU by handing out unsolicited nudity like it was part of the amenities. Oops.

Edited: Lol, those who wanted nudity spelt out, it’s been updated. It’s no biggie really. And can’t help laughing at those who referred to me as a bot 😅😅.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Amazing_Excuse_3860 on 2025-06-16 05:05:54+00:00.


For father's day, my dad wanted to watch the movie Flow with me (24F) and my sister (19F). He knew nothing about the movie aside from that it was about a cat, and that he'd heard good things about it. I had heard of it too, but I also didn't know anything about the plot of the movie until minutes before we watched it.

To those who haven't seen it, it is an animated movie with zero dialogue about a cat trying to survive a flood. As in, a world-ending, biblical-style flood.

I was not emotionally prepared for that. I LIVE with two cats. They're my fur babies. And the cat featured in the movie isn't an anthropomorphized cat - it moves, emotes, behaves, and meows just like a real life housecat.

I had tears streaming down my face within the first 20 minutes! This poor, helpless kitty was going through things a cat should never have to go through. It lost its home, it was all alone, and it was so scared. It could barely understand what was going on, let alone why any of it was happening.

I couldn't help but see my own cats going through this. Having to fend for themselves with no humans to care for them, having their home and the only things left of us being ripped away from them. Having to constantly flee from other animals who are also just trying to survive this nightmare. Being cold and wet and constantly afraid of everything happening. Where every attempt to get food risks your only lifeline floating away.

I had to google if the cat survived to the end of the movie before i could even consider watching it to the end. My dad asked if I was okay, and offered to stop the movie multiple times. I said no. I don't think it would have made a difference if I had stopped. I still wouldn't be able to get the images of that poor cat's suffering out of my head, keeping me awake at night.

One of my cats is at the foot of my bed right now, completely oblivious to the horrors of the world. Pampered and cozy, with a full bully and people who love him, as he should be. I hope this sweet innocent baby never has to go through anything like that movie, ever. I love him and his brother so, so much, and I wish they could live forever.

TL;DR: I agreed to watch what i thought was just going to be a cute cat movie, and it emotionally destroyed me to the point of being unable to fall asleep because I can't stop thinking about that poor cat in the movie, and my own cats going through something similar. I'm still crying.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/effietea on 2025-06-16 04:11:52+00:00.


I bought my house about 4 years ago. It's in a rural area, almost an acre, has a few trees. I don't really know anything about the people who lived here before me but I know the woman was a widow and raised a few kids there. Anyways, there's a dead tree that's been in the middle of the property since I moved in. Since it wasn't really bothering anything and here were much more pressing things to take care of, I hadn't worried about it.

I was out doing yard work today and decided it was finally time to get the tree down. I started clearing the area around it and found a bunch of decent sized rocks--like 30-40lbs each. I was really excited because I needed those size rocks for another project I was doing so I cleared the area and moved each rock across the yard to my other project. Once the nice rocks were moved, there were a bunch of pieces of cement--I moved those too. I went back to clearing around the tree and suddenly the ground started smoking. It looked like a cloud of white smoke appearing every time I raked--then I hit a patch of very fine white dirt. At first I thought it was like, chalk to make the dirt easier to work with but it dawned on me that I'd probably disturbed someone's ashes. Then I remembered the woman I bought the house from was a widow. I'm guessing the previous family scattered ashes under the tree and then put a bunch of rocks on top to keep the ashes from blowing away. And then the tree died and the idiot new owner dug it all up. So I'm probably cursed now, will keep you all updated.

TL;DR: I dug up rocks in my yard and probably disturbed the former owner's ashes. Yay me.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Maleficent_Sir_6034 on 2025-06-16 03:32:45+00:00.


Not really “today” IFU, more like “in general” IFU.

I’ve always loved the name Miles for a boy. I never had lists of baby names for future children, but for some reason Miles always felt right to me.

Husband and I got married quite young, but we were both starting grad school and it was definitely not a good time for kids. Also, without going into detail, I was diagnosed with some chronic health stuff and sort of assumed that having biological kids would be a challenge for us. We made peace with it, and six years ago we adopted our two amazing girls out of foster care, something I had dreamed of doing since I was little. Since they were older kids and not babies, they both already had names, and I wasn’t about to change them. A year after that, we completed the family by bringing home a fluffy orange kitten who is now a 15 pound beast of a cat. He’s a male, and he needed a name. I figured, well we have two girls now, and even if we adopted more in the future we would probably go through foster care again, and our kids would already have names, and the odds of me getting pregnant and having a boy are probably pretty slim, so…… might as well use my favorite boy name on my chonk monster. And that is how Miles the Cat came to be.

Fast forward to April of this year. I am 35 - not ancient, but also not exactly in my most fertile years. Husband and I had been talking about maybe giving the whole conception thing a real try, but as I said I had already made peace with the fact that it probably wouldn’t happen for us. We had taken a spring break trip with the girls to visit my parents. I was waiting on an extremely late period that never came. You can guess the rest.

Surprise!! Baby due in November. And then a couple months later… surprise!!!! Baby is a boy!!!

So, I now have three options:

  1. Name my son Miles, and change the cat’s name (we’ve had him five years at this point)
  2. Name my son Miles and keep the cats name and have my son go through life thinking he was named after the cat
  3. Keep the cat’s name, and find another name that I love to give our son

Obviously, I’m going with option 3. But UGGHH I have been absolutely kicking myself ever since I found out the gender 😫

So just as a cautionary tale: don’t waste your favorite baby name on a pet if there’s even a small chance of having babies!

TLDR: didn’t think I would have a baby, so I used my favorite boy name on my cat, then got surprisingly pregnant with a baby boy and have no idea what to call him now!!

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/nachtmusik525 on 2025-06-16 00:23:11+00:00.


I am still in total shame.

We went out for dinner and the restaurant patio was full of mosquitos. Now, I am a simple person: I see a mosquito, I SMASH IT. Usually they pick me as their meal so I'm used to slap myself withno problem.

But then one of those bastards flied on the beautiful face of my BF and started to suck (🤨). I tried to shoo it away but BF was startled of my sudden movement and I ended up slapping him in the cheek without him understanding WHY.

I AM SO STUPID. I told him "I AM SO SO SORRY, there was a mosquito" and immediately stood up to go wash my hands, since I had the bastard smashed on my palm. He laughed but then I realized that all the other people saw me slapping him and then immediately going away like in a damn telenovela. I went back to the table and ate my pizza feeling emarassed af. I am still cringing.

We resolved with me paying for his dinner and then he slapped me on my "other cheeks" so all is good😂

TLDR: wanted to protect my boyfriend from a mosquito bite, ended up involuntarily slapping him in a restaurant hall, no hard consequences except shame and a bit of cringe

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Late-Track-6500 on 2025-06-15 21:56:21+00:00.


I’m writing this in the car, after easily the most embarrassing thing just happened to me.

For context, I’m out with my family and we decided to grab some food. After the meal, they wanted to stop by Savers. I agreed, no problem.

Until… the food I just ate started doing backflips in my stomach, and I had to take a shit.

With nowhere else to go, I went into the public restroom at the back of the store. The minute I sat on the toilet, the Hershey squirts left my body. I felt some relief… until I realized there was no toilet paper, except for five individual squares on the filthy floor beside the toilet.

I had two options: 1. Use the dirty toilet paper 2. Waddle with my pants around my ankles to the paper towels and back

I chose option 2.

The second I got to the paper towel dispenser, someone opened the door — while I was facing it… pants and underwear at my ankles, with shit in my crack.

I threw my arm out to block the door, but it was too late — dude saw everything. Balls and all.

I went back to the stall and had to go with option 1 anyway. What the actual fuck.

TLDR; Explosive diarrhea with no toilet paper, empty paper towel dispenser, caught with pants down in a public restroom

Edit: since this post is getting some attention I want to mention that; I didn’t even think of using my sock.. I think I was in a panic and needed to think fast before someone could open the restroom doors, unfortunately I was a little to late. I’m now going to keep whipes and toilet paper in my car at all times.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Terytha on 2025-06-15 18:16:37+00:00.


For our anniversary, we decided to spend a week at a beach side cabin by the ocean. It wasn't the swimming kind of beach due to the severity of the waves, but I at least wanted to dip my toes in so I bought some cheap, barely fitting rubber sandals that I could get wet. Barefoot wasn't something I wanted to do because I didn't want to pull shell shards out of my feet.

Anyways we went into the water, splashed around for the two or three seconds it took to go numb in that friggin icy water, then headed back in to take a leisurely romantic stroll by the sea. There was a significant amount of sand in my shoes but I just shrugged it off because its the beach, of course there's sand.

I guess because my feet were numb and I was having fun I didn't realize how much wet sand was stuck under the straps. By the time we'd walked the beach end to end, I noticed it was a bit scratchy so I looked down and hey, blood! I'd completely sanded the tops of my feet off. They swelled so bad I couldn't wear shoes the rest of the day and I was limited to socks or bandages for most of the trip.

TL;DR: Went on a romantic beachside stroll, got too much wet sand in my sandals and sanded the skin off the tops of my feet.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/rievealavaix on 2025-06-15 10:28:16+00:00.


Obligatory "this was yesterday".

TIFU. Went to the library to have a quiet, relaxing afternoon. Stopped in the restroom to pee. Went to shut the door to the accessible stall and it hit the latch, caught for a moment and then slipped past it, swinging out.

I wasn't expecting that and was leaning on the door a little. I fell, my arm catching the latch on the way down. Two cuts, a swollen leg, torn up skin, lots of bruises.

TIFU by using the iodine wipe the library staff gave me. -3/10 do not recommend. It burned terribly and turned my skin orange.

20 minutes later they scrounge up a different disinfecting wipe and a single band-aid. I convince the staff that yes, we should actually write an incident report, just in case.

TIFU. Bandaged it all when I got home. Had an allergic reaction to the medical tape. Thankfully that swelling has calmed down.

I'm in so much pain.

TL;DR: Fell in the restroom at the library and caused extra pain with iodine and medical tape

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Cultural-Carrot3247 on 2025-06-15 15:26:38+00:00.


I (55F) was out to lunch with a good friend of mine (also 55F) to celebrate my birthday. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, and one of the things we’ve always bonded over is our love of books. We read totally different genres ,she’s more mystery and thrillers, I’m more memoir and literary fiction ,but we both adore reading and always end up talking about books whenever we see each other.

Somewhere in the middle of our lunch, we got on the topic of physical books vs. e-books, and that somehow veered into paperback vs. hardcover. And I started to tell her how much I don’t like paperbacks, how they’re flimsy, how I hate how the covers bend and never quite lie flat again, how they never sit nicely on a shelf, how I like the weight and substance of a hardcover in my hands. I even made some joke like, “If I’m going to commit to reading 300 pages, I at least want to feel like I’m holding something worthy of that time.”

I could see her kind of nodding politely, not saying much, which I took as her agreeing or at least just listening. So I just kept going. I wasn’t trying to be mean or snobby. I thought we were just having one of those “book people get it” conversations.

Then she smiled awkwardly and said, “Well, speaking of books,” and reached into her tote bag and pulled out a wrapped present. “Happy birthday!”

I slowly opened the wrapping, already feeling my face go hot. Of course, it was a book. A novel she’d been raving about a few weeks earlier. A thoughtful, sweet gift from one reader to another.

And, of course it was a paperback.

I laughed awkwardly and said something like, “Oh wow, I’ve been meaning to read this!” and thanked her, but the whole energy had shifted. She smiled and said, “I thought you’d like it”

And then, to make matters worse, she added, “I debated getting the hardcover, but this one had such a nice cover design and I figured it would be lighter to carry.”

I tried to recover and said something dumb like, “Oh yeah, no, totally, I mean, I still read paperbacks too, I’m not that picky, haha,” but the damage was done.

We finished lunch, and she was perfectly pleasant, but I could sense this subtle coolness the rest of the afternoon. She didn’t bring up the book again. I texted her later that night to say thank you again and that I was excited to read it, and she responded with a “Glad you like it!” and a smiley face.

I can’t tell if it was a genuine smiley or one of those passive-aggressive ones.

TL;DR: I went on an anti-paperback novel rant only to immediately be gifted a paperback novel from her for my birthday. I may have accidentally insulted her thoughtful present and now I have no idea how she really feels about it.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/thatguysjumpercables on 2025-06-15 15:20:26+00:00.


Let my wife sleep in late because that's what we do on Sundays. Went to wake her up the way I usually do by doing a standing hug thing while she regains consciousness. I stood up to let her roll over, then noticed her nightgown was starting to show heavy cleavage.

I am a boob man. Butts are nice of course, but boobs are my jam. And my wife appreciates my appreciation, so it's not like I was doing anything abnormal or unwanted.

But the exact moment I went in to show my appreciation, she, eyes closed, decided to adjust her head on her pillow.

BAM

*Headbutted her right in her eyebrow.

It's about 15 minutes later and there's some noticeable swelling and I feel like a complete fucking asshole. Oddly she still thinks it's her fault because she's a dork but I know better. We laughed about it when the pain subsided, at least.

TL;DR: Tried to motorboat my wife, headbutted her instead.

Edit: clarification

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MyHighKitchen on 2025-06-15 14:47:34+00:00.


To kick things off, I have a strawberry intolerance. I say intolerance and not an allergy because it’s not epi-pen bad, but still coming out of both ends bad.

It’s time for bed, which means brushing our teeth. “Mommy, you do it!” Kid says in the most adorable toddler voice. And I do so, using her silly banana shaped toothbrush. I brushed my front teeth only, but still got a taste of the paste. I remark how terrible the taste is and start rinsing my mouth out. I can still taste it. So I head to my bathroom and brush my teeth. Finally that terrible taste is gone.

A little while later I’m on the floor with a terrible migraine, crawling to the toilet and ejecting every fluid in my body from both ends. Violent diarrhea and vomiting all night.

The next morning my husband asks how I’m feeling. And since I’ve been up all night I am able to pinpoint exactly where I fucked up.

“Kiddo’s toothpaste is strawberry banana flavored, isn’t it?”

TL/DR: Today I fucked up by showing my child how to properly brush their teeth using a toothpaste flavored with a food item to which I am wickedly intolerant to. Probably would have gotten away with it had I not basically rubbed it all over my gums.

EDIT TO ADD: I went with intolerance because in the past I’ve said it was an allergy and have had armchair doctors of the internet lose their minds. It’s pretty wild that folks get uppity about intolerance vs allergy. I and my whole family consider and treat it as an allergy.

I looked at the ingredient list, strawberry is not listed but it does say natural flavor. I don’t know and at this point I don’t care. Orajel Kids can fuck right off. Into the trash it goes.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Gandalfssnotrag on 2025-06-15 09:29:22+00:00.


This happened recently, and even though I laugh about it now, I didn't find it funny at the time.

At work, I like to sit in my car on my breaks and watch Netflix, so in the hot weather, I’ve been putting a cover over my car's windscreen to try and keep it cool. I also like to get to work early and have a cup of coffee before I start the day, so I'm usually the first person in the car park.

On this particular day, I had allowed some extra time for roadworks, but they were finished, so I arrived 10 minutes earlier than usual—much to the delight of the night security guard, who usually goes home as soon as I arrive on site.

As I'm waving goodbye, I start my usual routine of putting the cover over my windscreen. It has these tabs that shut in the doors to keep it on, but the air pressure from closing the door tends to move them out of place, so I hold them down. This time, however, I wasn’t paying attention, and as I closed the passenger door, it caught the top of my thumb in the gap.

I wish I could say I let out a manly roar, but in actual fact, I yelled like a wounded animal. I quickly reached for the handle to free my poor thumb, but I had forgotten that I was holding my car keys in my other hand. In a maneuver that I would usually find hard to replicate, I somehow managed to lock the car as I grabbed the handle.

Now slightly panicking, I fumbled with my free hand in a desperate attempt to unlock the car and managed to drop the keys. They bounced off my work boots and landed firmly under the car.

"No worries," I thought, "I’ll just call the security guard to come back and free me." However, my phone was sitting proudly in my now-locked car.

In a fit of frustration, I kicked the door—leaving a nice big dent.

After what felt like an age, but was probably only about 15 minutes, one of my workmates turned up and found me contemplating whether to endure the embarrassment or gnaw my thumb off.

I chose the former, hoping he would quickly assist me in my predicament. Alas, he was too busy laughing.

Thankfully, he managed to compose himself enough to retrieve my keys and free me—and my now very sore thumb.

Apart from a bit of bruising, nothing was broken. Though my embarrassment was far from over, as the whole ordeal was caught on the security cameras.

Having watched it myself, I must admit—it is quite funny.

TL;DR: Tried to keep my car cool by covering the windscreen, accidentally slammed my thumb in the door, then locked myself out of the car—with my phone inside and my thumb still stuck. Kicked the door in frustration, got laughed at by a coworker, and the whole thing was caught on security cameras.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SessionForeign6346 on 2025-06-13 18:00:23+00:00.


UPDATE showed my friend this post and she was dying with laughter !!! She told me she can’t stand asymmetric bobs and I said that was a good payback ( I have one ) we said we will be laughing about this for years to come !!

This happened yesterday and I’m still cringing.

We were all hanging out, me, my husband, and one of my close friends and her husband. Casual evening, wine flowing, conversation meandering from work drama to random pet peeves.

At some point, I started venting (okay, maybe passionately ranting) about how I cannot stand when men dye their hair. I don’t even know what set me off, maybe it was something we saw on TV, but I just went off about how it always looks weird or artificial and how I wish men would just embrace the gray and age gracefully.

Mid-rant, I notice my friend has gone really quiet. I stop and look at her, and she gives me this deadpan expression before saying, “I make my husband dye his hair.”

Cue the longest silence ever.

Apparently, she prefers the darker look and asks him to touch it up regularly. He kind of just smiled and nodded like, “yep, that’s my life.”

I wanted the couch to eat me alive. My husband slowly sipped his drink, eyes locked on the ceiling like he was trying to astral project out of the room.

I immediately backtracked and said, “Oh but some guys can totally pull it off!” which honestly made it worse.

TL;DR: Went on a passionate rant about how much I hate when men dye their hair… right in front of a friend whose husband does exactly that because she asked him to.

UPDATE: Well I did say I FU and apparently everyone else on Reddit agrees! I have been reading all Your comments.

For the record I don’t dye my hair.

I should not have been judgmental! I agree! I just think people don’t realize how beautiful being natural can be as well. There is no shame with the signs of aging. Gray hair is beautiful but so are all colors ! I don’t care what anyone does anymore !! I learned my lesson the hard way !

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Serious-Pilot-2700 on 2025-06-14 22:40:25+00:00.


After all these years, finally I feel that today I have fucked sufficiently far up that I see no other option but to post to this fine sub. I sit here, about 12 hours post, still actively cringing about as hard as I ever have, and hoping that externalising this may bring me some peace.

To set the scene, my dear wife (35F) and I (34M) are currently attending antenatal classes, preparing for the arrival of our first child this summer. There are 7 other couples, all of similar age to us, and we have been looking forward to potentially making some new friends out of these classes who will have similar age children to us, and live nearby, in a very nice neighbourhood. So far everything has been going great. There's good camaraderie between everyone; the guys lament hospital parking, the ladies compare aches, and all of us seem to get along and have good chats between couples and across the group in spare moments in the sessions.

I am not a natural extrovert, and don't feel the most at home in groups like this, but I'm doing my best to seem like a real person, and fit in. Naturally, in an unfamiliar social situation, like many others might, I'm cracking the occasional joke along the way; to break the ice, to keep the mood light, generally to grease the wheels of social interaction and portray myself as a fun, normal guy to be around.

Half way through today's class, there's some down time between activities, we're all sat in a broad circle, and people are sharing funny conversations that have come up with people they know, when they have announced or mentioned their pregnancies. As usual the tone is jovial and casual. People mentioning inappropriate or odd questions they get asked, others responding that they've had similar or worse asked. At one point one of the ladies who is sat near us says that someone once came up and asked her "oh wow, so was this an accident or on purpose?" and comments what a mad thing that is to ask when that person knew she was happily married. This gets a good response and a general chuckle around the room. This is where I step in. And by step in, I mean step into my whole mouth, with both feet.

In my head, in the moment, I think, ho ho, yes, what a humourous situation, what an impertinent thing to say to someone who is clearly and happily married. So I think, yes, I will add to the conversation by suggesting something equally hilariously inappropriate someone might say in that situation. So in her wake, I pipe up "Ha, yeah, or if they'd asked 'oh so is it 's?'" There was a slightly awkward titter in response to this, she responded "well thankfully noone's gone quite so far." The topic of conversation swiftly but naturally moves on, and in my head I think, well that didn't reallly land, but hey ho.

A minute later, I get a text from my wife sat next to me: "Fucking hell, there was no need to make that joke", and I sit there for a moment. Yeah, thinking about it, the whole room did sort of awkwardly go quiet there for a moment. Hmm, yeah, that wasn't entirely clearly just a light hearted contribution to the conversation. Now that I think about it, wow, that was an incredibly insensitive, inappropriate and dumb thing to say, especially to someone who is on this emotional rollercoaster we call pregnancy. Wow, fuck, shit, I am a fucking moron. I am the World's Stupidest Idiot. I have made myself look like the biggest tool in the room, and likely everyone thinks I am an incredibly weird douchebag for that.

Obviously no mention of it is made, but I spend the rest of the class, and the day, in a sort of haze of embarrassment. The cherry on top, earlier in the class, as an ice breaker, we had each been asked to name one attribute we would like the baby to pick up from our partner. My wife easily replied, with a smile on her face and looking lovingly at me, "I'd love if they got your wit and sense of humour."

So there we are. I don't know if I should reach out to either the husband or wife at whom I directed this idiotic comment and apologise, or just leave it be, or just leave the country, or perhaps the entire solar system.

TL;DR: Tried to make a fun add on to someone else's light hearted anecdote about inappropriate pregnancy related questions, instead made a really crude, inappropriate and fairly offensive remark.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/SessionForeign6346 on 2025-06-14 18:01:39+00:00.


So I posted yesterday about how I passionately ranted about how much I hate when men dye their hair right in front of my friend whose husband dyes his hair because she prefers it that way. Yeah. That one.

In case you missed it: I basically went off about how unnatural it looks, how men should embrace their grays, blah blah, aging is beautiful, etc.and then my friend hit me with, “I make my husband dye his hair.” I wanted to evaporate on the spot.

WELL.

After reading all the comments on my post (thank you, Reddit, for dragging me with grace), I decided to show my friend. I figured, why not? I’d already humiliated myself in real life might as well complete the cycle online.

So the next day, I sent her the post. And she LOST it.

Like, I have never seen someone laugh that hard in my life. Full-on wheezing. Tears. She texted back, “I’m dying. You’re an idiot. But an adorable idiot.”

For a moment, I thought I’d been forgiven. Maybe even redeemed.

I was wrong.

We met for coffee later that afternoon, and she comes in with this sly little grin like she’s up to something. We sit down, and she goes, “So since we’re sharing brutally honest, slightly unsolicited opinions… I’ve always hated your asymmetric bob.”

I blinked. “Wait, what?”

She sips her drink like a Bond villain and goes, “You know, it’s just one of those haircuts that screams ‘I own crystals and yell at customer service.’”

EXCUSE ME?

I’ve had this haircut for like four years. I love my asymmetric bob. It’s my “quirky cool aunt” look. It’s me. And now she’s just casually telling me it’s been giving off chaotic divorced energy this whole time?

She kept going. “I mean, it’s a strong choice. But kind of intense. Like you might start a small cult or sue a Whole Foods.”

I was both speechless and wildly impressed by the specificity of the insult.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Because I love you, and I know you love it. But then you called my husband’s hair fake in front of everyone, so… consider this my revenge.”

Touché.

It’s fair. I deserved it.

Honestly, it was kind of a perfect response. No drama, no argument, just a softly delivered truth bomb that absolutely took me out. I haven’t looked at my reflection the same way since. Now every time I catch a glimpse of my haircut, I wonder if I give off “CEO of Etsy shop that only sells sage bundles” energy.

Also, her husband? Still dying his hair. Still looking great. I fully support him now. I’ve become a changed woman. Personal growth, courtesy of public humiliation.

TL;DR: Showed my friend the Reddit post where I trashed hair dye—she laughed hysterically, then calmly told me she’s always hated my haircut. We’re even now. I think.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kitchen_Jellyfish492 on 2025-06-14 16:57:25+00:00.


(English isn't my first language so I apologize for any possible mistakes.)

This all started yesterday evening when my brother (21) took our car to meet some friends. Next morning I woke up and as I walked downstair, I saw a random man (probably 18-19) laying on his stomach on our couch. Since I couldn't see his face and he had similar clothes I thought he was my brother. However based off of his hairstyle and -color I realized it wasn't him. The next logical step was to assume he was just my brothers friend he brought with him and so I didn't think much of it. I talked to our parents about it and they both agreed, thinking it was odd.

Well since I thought it'd be awkward I didn't really wanna be there when he woke up so I decided to join my dad as he went to te store. We talked about the guy and how it was weird my brother brought him over to our place instead of taking him straight to his home. Anyways once we came back he was still asleep and I went back upstairs.

At some point I heard him waking up. My mom spoke to him, still assuming he was my brothers friend, asking his name etc. He said his name was Anthony (fake name) and with that my mom decided to go and wake my brother up. She told him that Anthony was downstairs and that he should get up and make him some coffee since he didn't seem to feel too good.

Well at that point my brother got that much more confused when he told he didn't know anyone named Anthony. With that he goes downstairs and sure enough the guy on our couch was a complete stranger. I was still upstairs so I wasn't there to witness the situation but basically my brother told him that "he probably had the wrong house" and he should leave. The guy was still somewhat drunk and he quickly left our place.

For some background we live in Northern Europe in a really stereotypical suburban area and so, we sometimes forget to lock our doors (and why we took the situation this casually and lightly). With that the guy most likely thought in his drunken state that it was his home and so stumbled in and went to sleep. Later on I also heard he left without his shoes and as I went out to take the trash I saw a shoe around 10m away from our front door, with the other one another 5m back from the first one. The shoes were facing our front door so this guy had taken them off one by one on our yard before walking in. Next morning he also somehow managed to walk past them, not picking them up and wandering off only with his socks. I mostly feel bad for him and hope he somehow finds his way back home.

TL;DR: today we fucked up by assuming the best and letting a complete stranger sleep on our couch.

42
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Otherwise_Baseball99 on 2025-06-14 06:49:59+00:00.


Happened yesterday, damage = 98 % emotional, 2 % career-related.

I was riding the bus home after a long Monday when a teammate—let’s call her Lucy—sent a group email full of last-minute changes for a project that already felt cursed. Subject line: “Final FINAL assets – please review tonight.” 🙄

I opened it on my phone, saw three glaring typos and a wrong deadline date, rolled my eyes, and decided to vent to my work buddy, Tom. I screenshotted the email, wrote “Lucy strikes again 😂” across the image with the markup tool, and meant to DM it to Tom on Slack.

Two problems:

  1. Gmail mobile kept the email thread open in the background.
  2. “Share → Gmail” sits right above “Share → Slack” in the Android menu.

So instead of DM’ing Tom, I replied-all—complete with my doodled screenshot and sarcastic caption—to Lucy, our manager, and two external vendors.

Realized it three stops later when Lucy simply replied, “Hey, I can still see this.” My stomach tried to exit the bus without me.

Immediate triage: • Sent a groveling apology to the thread. • Messaged my manager explaining it was meant as a private gripe, totally unprofessional, etc. • Called Lucy, who (bless her) laughed and said, “At least you caught the typos.”

Fallout so far: Manager told me to “use this as a learning moment” and reminded the team to proofread before hitting send—so no formal write-up. Lucy changed her Slack status to “🚨 Email police 🚨” and keeps sending me random screenshots with my name misspelled.

Could’ve been worse, but I’ve turned off “Share via Gmail” in my phone settings forever.

TL;DR: Tried to screenshot-snark about a coworker’s sloppy email, accidentally reply-all’d the screenshot to the entire project list, spent the rest of the day tasting my own foot.

43
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/xivleslie on 2025-06-14 10:36:32+00:00.


We’re traveling right now and yesterday had taken a toll on the both of us. We were in a severely crowded space and on our feet all day. I had a panic attack at one point and it sucked the energy out of the room.

Today though, my best friend had a meet and greet with one of her favorite artists and she asked me to record. Previous to this moment, we were in yet another crowded space and I was feeling very overwhelmed by the noises, lights, and people. I was not running on full cylinders, so I just took her phone without thinking and aimed it at them since she had already pressed record. Their interaction was very sweet and I was grinning at them the whole time. They had their moment and my best friend comes back to me only to realize I had stopped recording at some point.

She plays back the video and it looked like when she handed me her phone, my finger had accidentally pressed stop, so she didn’t get a single second of the meet and greet. She was understandably devastated.

I felt so bad and apologized profusely, and she kept saying it was fine, but would make comments jabbing at the situation. I wracked my brain to come up with a solution, but it wasn’t like we could just get a do-over. Now, things between us are stilted.

TL;DR I accidentally didn’t record my best friend meeting her favorite artist and now she won’t talk to me

44
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Last-Type375 on 2025-06-14 05:04:20+00:00.


Laying in bed with my husband tonight, he's playing a game. I wanted to initiate sex and I thought I came up with a brilliant line i was so confident this would work. So, I turn to him and say "You wanna wrestle?" He laughs, I laugh then he goes back to playing his game. I thought okay he's just going to finish his game, I can wait. I'm thinking he definitely picked up what I was putting down. I waited awhile, still nothing. I decide to read my book while I wait, still nothing. I switch to scrolling on my phone, a little less confident, still nothing. At this point it's been about an hour since I used my top tier line. I give a kiss goodnight thinking maybe now he'll make his move, still nothing. So I say there, definitely not sleeping, waiting and hoping. Another hour and a half later and he's finished with his game, he kisses me goodnight and I tell him "I love you." So he would know there's still time to wrestle. He says it back but still nothing. Instead, to fall asleep, he puts something on the TV. What is it? Wrestling, of course. That's irony for you. Now I let awake writing this unsatisfied and disappointed. But I'm not giving up, I'm using this line again until it works!

TL;DR I asked my husband if he wants to wrestle to initiate sex. Instead, he watches wrestling.

Edit To be clear, if I want sex that bad then yes I just say it or make a move. This is basically for shits and giggles to see if it would work, and I will continue to try it until it works. But in the mean time I will be direct when I want it, don't worry!

45
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Closeted_bisexual04 on 2025-06-13 11:21:45+00:00.


So this isn't today, but about a month ago a couple of my(f20) neighbor kids(f 7-8) came running up to me in my driveway and asked if I wanted to look at their gems. I said sure and they ran off to go get them. They had a bunch of little polished rocks in a tote and asked if I wanted to buy them. I didn't want to say no cause they're just little kids so I bought them, they were charging $1 for 2 rocks so I took the change out of my cup holder in my car and payed them the dollar and thought that was the end of it. Now these girls come up to me everyday when I get home and ask for rocks. They've probably made like $30 off me now and I dont know what to do. They're just kids so I feel bad and every time they come with this sob story about how im they're only customer. My boyfriend thinks they know what they're doing but I dont know they're like 7. I live paycheck to paycheck so I really can't keep this going.

TL;DR TIFU by buying rocks from little kids and now they won't stop asking me and im running out of change.

46
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/askthrowaway2024 on 2025-06-13 22:19:26+00:00.


Throwaway because I am legitimately so embarrassed lol.

Important background fact: I call my cat White Boy as a nickname. It’s a long story about how that came about, but the end result is we lovingly refer to him as White Boy when he enters a room.

So, I have to pick up a prescription at Costco, but I’m not feeling well and wanted to double check that my partner could just go straight into the pharmacy and pick it up for me without my Costco card since they’re doing the scanning machines now and decided to call our specific club just to make sure - better safe than sorry.

I live in a pretty small state with one real city, so most of the time when I call a place I’m on hold for a good bit since everyone kinda flocks to the city for everything - so I was expecting it to ring for a couple minutes before an attendant picked up (My mistake. I’ve never had to call Costco before and didn’t realize their team is fucking On It).

So, I’m mentally prepped to basically have my phone on standby for a bit when my cat jumps on the bed. As always, I very excitedly greet him with “Hi, White Boy!” as the call rings one singular time and the attendant picks up. He immediately in a semi-horrified, semi-confused voice answers “Hello…?” and I was so mortified that I couldn’t bring myself to clarify and simply barreled through with my question and was promptly transferred to the appropriate department.

TL;DR greeted my cat in a way that was very likely received as racially insensitive by a Costco employee while on a call. Received great customer service.

47
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Critical-Gur1141 on 2025-06-13 17:52:04+00:00.


This actually happened years ago but I never really found the space it belonged in, hopefully here is right. I don’t use Reddit or social media much so please forgive my poor formatting.

I (23f then) had just came home with some groceries and put them away, before going into our basement, step up to be an entertainment space, and started watching a movie with my then 3 year old. I was just beginning to sink into the black hole that is TikTok, when my roommate, Chelsea (32f) came down.

Chelsea was panicked but instantly relieved to see my son sitting next to me. She then started telling me about how she saw a car drive by and shout “Hey! That’s child abuse!” But was blocked by the neighbors house and could not actually see what the driver was shouting about. My neighbors only have adult children and no grandchildren though, so her first thought was that my toddler had maybe escaped and was loose, it had never happened before but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. If you’re a parent or some sort of child handler, like a teacher, you know what I mean.

As Chelsea was finishing telling me she heard a noise upstairs, I honestly didn’t hear anything, but I told my toddler to “Stay in this room with the door locked till I come back”. I went up the stairs first, I’m much bigger and to put it bluntly just have more experience with fights then Chelsea. I truly expected to find nothing, maybe the wind blowing a bedroom door closed at best, and maybe a nosey neighbor also investigating the claims at worst, we are very close to many of them and my neighborhood is cozy and quiet.

Nothing in this world could prepare me for what I saw as I turned the corner to my entryway. Reddit, there was a spilt moment where I genuinely thought ‘This isn’t real I must be seeing things’ maybe a gas leak? Towering above me was a man, tall, pale with beached hair, and to my dismay he was completely nude aside from a small chain and an “I heart boobies” bracelet. It was ALL out there! I put on my scariest most ‘dad’ voice I could and yelled at him to ‘get the f out of my house’! My roommate assures me that my yelling was intimidating but this guy was not phased.

He turned to look at me and just said “are you my friend?” In a voice unnervingly calm. So I yelled back “No, I don’t fn know you! You need to go!” He just asked again “are you my friend?” In the same cadence. It was at this point that I started to make observations and started drawing some conclusions.

  1. This guy was having a serious episode/medical emergency or was on something
  2. He wasn’t getting aggressive
  3. He was young. Don’t get me wrong he looked old enough to drink and I shudder at the thought of a kid that desensitized to being intimidated, but He had no tattoos, no scars, no sun damage, no muscle.

I switched to a much softer, caring, some would say more normal, tone and asked him if he was okay? If he need any help and if I could call someone for him. I opened my door and reached out for his arm, but he met my hand and held it for a while as he stared at me for what felt like forever. I wear one of those spiny anxiety rings and he was fidgeting with it before answering “no one can help me now.” In the same monotone voice.

That was enough for me, because what in the horror movie, so I shoved him out and locked the door. My roommate had called the police almost immediately when we saw him, and by the time I locked my door, all he could do was rip my mailbox down before the police came.

I couldn’t watch after that, I went to check my whole house for more “friends”, there wasn’t any, but I’ve since seen the Ring video of the incident, it’s seriously an episode of cops. Some key moments for you guys: At first only one cop rolls up and you can tell on his face he’s already over this call. Naked guy listens to him to begin with, sitting down and sort of answering the cops questions. “What’s your name?” “Harry” “Harry? Harry what?” “Harry Balls!” Sort of things. Then ‘Harry’ realizes ‘that’s the cops I should run’. So ‘Harry’ gets up to run but decides rather try fighting. Which Harry lost and then asked for a hug. Which gave my house our second favorite phrase of that day “NO! I don’t hug sweaty naked guys!” Second only to the cop that showed up next who just said ‘wtf’ so exasperated when he pulled up and saw an ACTUAL naked guy because YEAH DUDE SAME! He was in my living room.

In the end he was arrested and took a guilty plea, he ended up being only 15, so a lot of details were kept from being public, unless one of you IS Harry, we probably never will have his version of things unfortunately. As for the what the child abuse was about, Harry tried to go into my neighbors house first and I guess my Neighbor stopped him very physically and the driver likely thought it was a parent and child fighting in the yard and not a random teen breaking into houses, and like fair. The weird part is he wasn’t naked until after and no one knows when or where he took them off. Oh and my normally clingy and inquisitive toddler? Stayed locked in that room for three hours until I came back, I’m still so proud of him for that. He’s now 6 and has NO IDEA about “The Naked Guy Incident” as we call it in my circle, but when he turns 15 I’ll have one hell of a story for him.

TL;DR TIFU By forgetting to lock my door, which let a Naked Guy into my house.

48
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Money-Pirate887 on 2025-06-13 16:09:49+00:00.


I was playing cs last night and somehow clutched a ridiculous 1v5. It was for the tie (12-12 for those who know) and I was literally sweating cuz I really didn't want to lose this game because we made this huge comeback on ct side (there's t side and ct side in this game) and I jumped up like I’d just won a major completely forgetting that my coffee mug was sitting right next to my keyboard. I instantly spilled it all over my keyboard which I bought literally 3 weeks ago or so and it cost me 135 bucks. I was telling my teammates in discord and they thought that I was trolling them. Anyways, rest in peace to my logitech keyboard. I'll have to start looking up some other keyboard lol

TL;DR: I was celebrating my win and I spilled my coffee all over my keyboard

49
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Hyung256 on 2025-06-13 12:12:31+00:00.


Hi reddit.

I (24M) have been having a great internship experience at my place of work and all's been going well, except today morning.

Imagine my surprise when I finished my "business" only to realize the toilet paper was done. Yes, I wanted to end me. So I'm currently sitted in there wondering and typing on my phone for any ideas on how to work around this situation cause I've never encountered this. Never did I see myself falling victim either.

10minutes later I manage to swap stalls with the next immediate one after mine and guess what! No the roll was also done in this too. Same goes for every other stall I tried except the one. The only stall that was still preoccupied.

Mind you, I'm taking turns between people having to leave and exit the facility/Washroom . My thoughts racing, Will they come out soon, or not? And once done I dash out. Surprise Surprise, just this one time they're just standing there at the hand wash area and there i stand behind him pants down. Dashed into his stall, and used whatever little he left on that cardboard roll.

TLDR: Always check your stall/toilet for some tissues before you do the deed.

50
 
 
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chesu on 2025-06-13 09:25:44+00:00.


Just to get ahead of things here... no, they weren't those kind of gummies.

Last week, I was preparing my weekend bag for a trip, and noticed a couple things left over from last time... including two sandwich bags of melatonin gummies, one of them a high dose, the other a low dose. It made sense that I would've taken both with me, in case I had trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar place, but I had no idea why I would've separated them. The high dose is a dark purple and the low dose is a light orange, so it's not like I would mix them up. I shrugged, dumped them both into the same bag, and went about my day.

Tonight, I realized that it was nearly bed time, and I wasn't at all tired, so decided to take a low dose of melatonin. The gummies seemed a bit more stiff than usual, but I didn't think anything of it; again, they had been in a Ziplock bag in my backpack rather than their proper container, so it wouldn't be weird if they had changed a little.

It is now after 5:00 a.m., I'm lying awake in bed, and I just figured out what happened. I hadn't arbitrarily put melatonin in two separate bags a couple months ago. One bag was my high dose of melatonin... and the other was a pre-workout creatine and caffeine gummy, packed because I was staying at a hotel that had a gym. For reference, here are the low dose melatonin and the caffeine gummies side-by-side.

https://imgur.com/a/zCzLSyp

TLDR, I meant to take a sleep aid, and instead took some very similar-looking caffeine

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